#i started this like 6 months ago and finally picked it up and finished it last night :]

[lost7101]

grippy sinclair

[a-b-riddle]

Part 9 (unrevised version). Since I've gotten 6 messages and a good bit of asks requesting to view it. Here it is, not in its final form.

You had hoped Monday would have treated you better than the past two days, but walking up to your shop in the pouring rain to already see a body standing outside waiting wasn't a good sign.

Customers who waited outside your shop always made you feel uncomfortable. But when you finally got close enough, you took in the person before you.

"We don't open for another hour." Your voice flat as you fished for your keys.

"I'll wait." Was Kyle's reply.

"Then you'll have to do it outside." You said, the key sliding into the lock. He didn't argue as you shut the door behind you. Didn't even bother knocking when, after thirty minutes, you looked in the window to see that the wind was causing the rain to blow sideways.

You relented. Letting him in thirty minutes earlier. It was a small mercy, even if he was soaked to the bone. You almost felt bad when his chattering teeth were the only thing you could hear.

Almost.

"I take it John told you about our little talk yesterday." You said, going about your business. Engaging in the conversation as if you were talking about the shitty weather that had tried to drown him.

"He did." He gave a sniffle. Running a hand over his beautiful, wet face. Droplets still staking their claim on his skin. "H-he alssso t-t-told us we were on our own in begging for our own f-forgiveness. Ra-ra- rightly s-s-s-so."

You huffed. Guilt beginning to eat at you before you turned, disappearing to the back of the store and coming back with a shirt and a blanket. "You left the shirt here."

He had no shame and wasted no time in taking off his jacket and soaked shirt. His chiseled body exposed to you. It was almost instinct to reach out and touch the soft skin. You luckily possessed some form of self restraint.

"So are you here to promise to make amends as well?" You crossed your arms. You meant it as a sign that you were wanting to create distance, but honestly you didn't trust yourself. It was second nature. Kyle and Johnny were tied when it came to having to always touch you.

Probably why his ghosting sucked so bad.

"I'd like to take you out." You couldn't help the laugh that escaped you. It wasn't until Kyle's face fell that you realized, "Oh, you're actually serious."

He opened his mouth, ready to no doubt give you the same exact promises of doing better that John had given you the day before. Fortunately for Kyle, you didn't have the time to entertain a conversation.

"Fine." You immediately relented. No argument. "That Indian place where I asked you to go four months ago. Seven. If you manage to figure out which place, then I'll be meeting you there. Otherwise you'll be eating alone."

Kyle stood still. Unprepared for the fact that you had... agreed. You actually agreed to let him take you out.

"I can pick you up."

"Not sure what time I'll be getting off today. Might go home first. Might just go straight there." You started opening tasks again. "I have to finish setting up. Seven sharp.

"Seven sharp." He repeated, his smile lighting up the room.

It made you feel sick.

It was 6:45 when your phone started ringing. It was Kyle. Confirming that he was at the restaurant you were supposed to go.

7:00. He had gotten the two of you a table. He'll go ahead and order you a drink. They had mango lassi, but wasn't sure if you wanted to stick to just water.

7:15 He tries calling you. When it goes to voicemail, a follow up text is sent asking if you're okay.

At 7:20, while sitting on the couch you text back. Sorry. Something came up. We'll reschedule, I promise.

If you knew giving them a taste of their own medicine felt so good, you would have done it ages ago. You felt no since of shame in sending it. You hated being petty, but you wanted them to know what it felt like.

John had a lot more of verbal outbursts coming his way and if Johnny was hoping for a chance, he would be lucky if you had sex with him again before marriage.

Ten minutes later, on the dot, there was a knocking on your door. Your food had arrived. Blindly, you opened the door. Only instead of the take out you had delivered, Kyle stood there. Yet again soaked to the bone and this time out of breath.

"How did you know I was here?" Was the first thing that had come into your mind. If anything, he would have went by the shop first, but no. He came here. You weren't the type to deviate from a schedule, but christ. Simon at your date and then the club. John at the shop on your day off. Now this. "I swear to fucking god this fucking stalking-"

"Easy now, Love. No one's stalking you." Bullshit.

Absolute bullshit. They were military. Really important and special connections type of military, but this was bullshit. They were keeping tabs on you somehow.

"I know for a fucking fact that place is only ten minutes away. So you didn't have time to check out my store-- where I should be-- before coming here. So I'm going to ask you again, how did you know I was here?"

"Okay," he shrugged. "Stalking. We're stalking you." Kyle was lying. We he nodded like a bobblehead, you knew whatever was coming out of his mouth was bullshit. The first time you confirmed it was after Johnny had volunteered to make haggis. Kyle told him it was good, no doubt hoping to spare his feelings.

"Kyle." You warned, eyes narrowed and teeth clenched. He paused as if trying to form another lie, but coming up short. Sighing in defeat, he confessed.

"Blocking us didn't stop you from sharing your location." In that moment, you could have strangled him. They had been still using your location. Something you had given them as a way to find you if you ever needed help. Now those assholes were using it for their own benefit.

"Son of a-" you shut your mouth. "I can't do this with you right now, okay?" You didn't confess that your publisher had asked for a last minute zoom call in the middle of your busiest work hour to see how you felt about doing a few meet and greets, all expenses paid.

Good news, but still... overwhelming. You still felt like an imposter. That you didn't deserve the hype you were getting. Your story wasn't that good. Your characters didn't hold much depth.

"Everything okay?" You didn't want to tell him. Didn't want to give him the chance to offer the reassurance you desperately needed for something he had no idea about.

"Why?" You asked, changing the subject. "I just want to know why? With John I get that the job gets stressful and needing someone to take-"

"No," he finished. "That's not an excuse. It's a reason. Not an excuse." His jaw clenched. "There is no excuse for how any of us treated you."

"Then what was your reason?" you asked. "I'm finding it very hard that someone who quite actively avoided me suddenly wants to get back together."

"I slacked off?" He shrugged. "I figured there were four of us and if I wasn't able to be there, it wouldn't make a difference."

"If you're just going to lie, Kyle, there is no point in continuing this conversation." You go to close the door only for his hand to stop you.

He stands there, looking at the ground. Even from the this angle you can see him take his bottom lip between his teeth.

He's nervous.

You step back. Giving him the option of coming in and saying it is whatever it is he needs to stay. He may be an ass like the rest of them, but this isn't exactly a conversation you want to have in the hallway for your nosey neighbors to hear.

He takes the silent invitation. Walking in and not speaking until you click the door shut. "You want the truth?" His voice is soft, but there is something else behind it. Anger?

"No," you say sardonically. "Please. Lie to me." He sighed, but didn't say anything. You were exhausted. The past few days had been a back-to-back rollercoaster of emotions. You were drained. You didn't have it in you for this right now. "Kyle-"

"I thought you only kept asking because you felt bad for me." He said the words so quickly, it took you a moment to process them. He thought.... you felt bad for him? "Like you were still trying to include me even if you didn't want to."

"Why?" Was the only thing you could come up with. You didn't have the energy to try to come up with your own reasoning for his admission.

"Don't think I don't know how I am compared to the them." He scoffed. You always knew the hierarchy of their work, even if you didn't know all the details. John was at the top. Captain and head bitch in charge. Simon was the lieutenant with Johnny and Kyle as Sergeants. Kyle was the youngest of the group by two years, but still. What was there to compare?

"So you're not a Captain or Lieutenant?" you shrug. "Johnny is the same rank as you. And you are the youngest and I'm sure with time you'll get to a position-"

"Black!" He said. "I'm black. I am the only fucking black guy not only in this relationship. I'm the only black guy in the 141, in the unit."

When it came to Kyle, black was the last thing you thought of. You thought of his soft brown eyes or house his hands felt so smooth against your body. How his smile could light up the room and how beautiful, how head-turning gorgeous he was. "I'm just an after thought in everything else regarding the 141, why would you be any different?"

"Ky," you were going to be sick. Was this how he really felt? With you? With the others? With work? "You know I don't feel that way, right?"

"Do you remember that time we went out? That french place?" How could you forget. The maître d' had asked Kyle to put a card on a tab before the two of you were even seated. At first you thought it was preposterous. Why would you make patrons at a fine dining restaurant do that? This wasn't a pub for Christ sakes. Kyle told you not to worry about it and handed over a card.

The two of you never went back.

"Oh my god." It dawned on you. "When they asked for your card..."

"I..." he sucked in a breath. Trying to keep his composure. "It was fucking humiliating. I was a man dressed to the fucking nines with a gorgeous girl on my arm and before I even got the chance to blow my money, I was treated like I couldn't afford it. It wasn't because of what I was wearing or who I was with. It was because of me. Of who I was. Who I am."

"Kyle," words escaped you. Nothing in that moment to reassure him that it never dawned on you. That it stupidly never dawned on you how there were times that people did look at him different. You wanted to tell him that it didn't matter. That you were just as important and lovable and respectable as the others. That you loved him just as much. Words failed you. All you could say say was, "I'm so sorry."

He swallowed, before taking in harsh breath through his nose. "It's not an excuse. I got wrapped up in my own stupid fucking head about how other people looked at me, I forgot it only mattered how you did."

"And you did." You said, aching to reach out. To touch him. Offer some comfort. Hating that he ever felt like he wasn't enough. Knowing the feeling all too well. Even if he was the one to make you feel it. "You did matter to me."

"I know." He said. You were thankful he said it clearly. Not shrugging his shoulders or nodding his head as he spoke. "I'll do anything to matter to you again." He took your hands in his, even though they had ached to hold you closer. But he knew not to test his luck. "If you want to press restart and let's take it back to the very beginning, I'll do that. I will court you and woo you and make you fall in love with me all over again because I will never fall out with you. I can't."

You weren't prepared for this. You had prepared to leave Kyle waiting in a restaurant alone. Now your heart ached in your chest at the idea of letting him ever think he wasn't enough because of the color of his skin.

"It doesn't have to be now or tomorrow or next week or next fucking month." He squeezed your hands the same way had John had. With the exact same intensity and promise. "Just let me try again. I won't let you down this time. I'll put in the work."

"I don't want you to feel like you have to work to make this relationship work, Kyle." You protest, wanting to pull your hands away. Free from the spell his touch had seem to be putting you under.

He smiled. Not enough to show off his teeth, but enough where have of his face lifted up. "It's not the type of work with long hours and a shit commute. Loving you is the same kind of work an artist puts into making a masterpiece. Pouring everything into it and getting something beautiful in return."

Before you could comprehend it, your face was wet. "Kyle." Your lips quivered, a sob threatening to come out. "I never felt like I needed to spend time with you, Ky." You sniffled. "I fucking wanted to. I missed you." You were so close. You needed to reel it in. Get it together.

"I just didn't understand how you could." His confession broke any restraint you had. Your hand flew to your mouth, trying to subdue your cries. When Kyle pulled you to his chest, his arms wrapping around you, you allowed yourself to crumble.

Not even for yourself, but for him.

For the kind heart you now knew broke with every sideways glance from passer-byes. For the hateful and prejudice world you lived in and for how they could overlook such a wonderful man just because of something as basic as the color of his skin.

You weren't sure how long you stood crying. You weren't certain if the knock on the door behind him actually happened or something your mind had conjured to try and pull you from your fit.

Eventually you did pull away from him. Your face covered in snot and tears. Seeing that you still were in need of it, Kyle pulled you back to him, only this time your face wasn't buried into his shirt.

You stood there. His arms wrapped around your back while yours found their home around his waist.

"I used to love when you would come back to my place directly from base as soon as you got back from a deployment." You said, breaking the silence. "I would be waiting like a kid on Christmas waiting to see what trinket made you think of me. You made me feel like even though we were so far away, you still thought about me."

"Always." He said, before his lips pressed against the top of your head. "Not a day I didn't miss being here with you."

The two of you eventually settled down on the couch. Both on opposite ends with a hot cup of tea in your hands and the array of take out containers half empty. You had planned for a night of eating your feelings so there was luckily enough food for two.

"I don't want to say no." You admitted. "But I need time. Before I even think about saying yes to all of this again."

"Not all of this," he reminded. "Just me. I'm doing my part in groveling, let the others figure it out. Or at least that's just what Price told us. Although you would be doing all of us a favor if you talked to Johnny?" Your ears perked up. You hadn't seen or heard from Johnny since Friday.

"What's wrong with Johnny?" You asked.

"Lad didn't cope well with you going on your date." Not that you had fucked him and said it was a mistake.... or maybe he kept that tidbit to himsle.f

"It wasn't a-" you started.

"I know," he said. "Simon happened to be nearby." You shot him a look, letting him know you weren't buying that lie, before he continued. "But he didn't. Fuck you're lucky we were able to drag him out of your apartment before you got back and he made an even bigger fool of himself."

"What are you talking about?" You asked. "What do you mean by drag?"

"Johnny called Simon. Told him you were on a date and to bring your ass back. Although you had made it a point to fuck him and leave-- absolutely no judgement, by the way-- he was going to make it a point to never leave your bed."

"My top sheet..." You had come home to your comforters and pillows on the floor. When making up your bed, the top sheet was missing. You had just assumed you didn't put it on or maybe it was in the wash.

"Refused to put his clothes back on. Me and John couldn't risk carrying a naked, screaming Scot through the streets without making a spectical. So we rolled him up and carried him of like a rug. A very heavy, squirmy rug."

"Oh," your hand flew to your chest. "Johnny." He was the bleeding heart of the group so you weren't exactly surprised. He was also the one who blew up shit, so he was definitely one for dramatics. "So that's how Simon figured out about dinner. But the drinks-"

"Whenever Simon is home, he's your shadow. The only time we don't worry about you is when we know he's with you." That made you roll your eyes.

"You act like he's my guard dog."

"He is."

"Is not." You defended, your conversation from Saturday night coming back to you.

"You're not my body guard, Simon." You snapped.

"Not trying to be," he said. "I was never trying to be."

"He's not." you said again.

"You're right." Kyle relented, shrugging his fucking shoulders.

"You're saying that like you're just not trying to argue with me." He took a sip of your tea. "Kyle!" He sighed before looking at you as if the last thing he wanted to do was continue on the subject.

"He is." He said. "Your guard dog."

"I mean he protects me, but all of you do." He shakes his head, a huff of air going out of his nose, almost amused.

"Not like Simon." He admits it almost as if he were ashamed. "I want to say something." He said it as if he were preparing you for the next words to come out of his mouth would change the course of the night. "I need to say it because it would make me less of a man and even less of a friend if I didn't. But I don't want you to hate me or yourself for it."

Why would you hate yourself for it?

"Fine." you agreed, giving him permission to continue. "I won't hold it against you."

"You were always the one to coordinate things to do. One-on-one dates. Helping John with paperwork when shit got to crazy and you were the only one the uptight asshole would let touch his files." You gave a small smile remembering how John had barked at a recruit to get the fuck out of his office before peppering you with kisses at your arrival. Giving small pecks of appreciation as he explained what he needed you to do and how to do it.

"Helping me after my shoulder injury and staying on my ass about the physical therapy."

"Well someone had to." You countered.

"This past Christmas when Johnny needed to get his sisters gifts so you made a whole day out of it going to see lights and ice skating." Johnny was the proud owner of a freshly bruised tailbone after landing flat on his ass and swearing off skating for the rest of his life. Feckin' ice.

"Okay?" You asked, not really sure where Kyle was headed for this. He had pointed out what a good girlfriend you were, had been. How you had always tried to be helpful and do whatever needed to help your boys out.

He stopped. He looked at you as if he were debating to tell you what he had warned you about. He looked down at the floor before taking his bottom lip in between his teeth.

"Fuck." He muttered.

"Spit it out, Kyle!" You whined, now clueless to what point he was trying to make by all the examples of what a good girlfriend you had been.

He looked at you with the same solemness that a friend looked at another friend before having to call them out on their shit, knowing that the pill they were about to be given would be a hard one to swallow.

"You never did that with Simon."

[ghxstwrites]

One More Time?

Pairing: Non Idol! San x Reader, brief Yunho x Reader

Summary: You’d left San months ago after he stopped paying attention to you due to his busy work schedule, but you ran into him at a house party you never expected him to be at and things took a turn for the better. 

WC: 2.2K

AU: Non Idol, Exes to lovers

Genre: Angst, Fluff, 2nd Chance! 

Warning(s): Oh this one hurts. I promise there's a happy ending! alcohol consumption, panicking, mentions of breakups.

A/N: Thank you to my beta reader, @bunnliix

Nets: @mirohs-aurora-society

Kinktober & Flufftober Masterlist

“Oh come on, Y/N” your friend nudged your arm. “You haven’t really been out since you broke up with San earlier this year.”

“I don’t know,” you look away from your friend. ”I still feel like it’s too soon…,” you look her way with almost a pout. 

“Y/N,” She says flatly, “It’s been almost 8 months, atleast go out and enjoy something for yourself.”

You and San had been together since  you were 17, you’d met him in your final year of highschool when you moved to Korea and you two hit it off almost immediately. 

San was reserved and quiet but something about you made him fall shamelessly in love within just a few weeks. He still doesn’t know if it was your broken Korean in your native accent, or the fact that he’d found himself in another person. 

The two of you went to the same college, which he convinced you to move in with him shortly before the start of your 3rd year, and everything had gone off without a hitch. The late night study sessions, the mutual celebration of academic milestones and achievements, and your graduation. 

He wanted to marry you, he’d known for sometime he wanted to spend the rest of his life with you. He would never tell you that though, he wanted to wait until it felt right. He’d wanted you both to finish college and settle into your career fields, he wanted nothing more than to have a perfect family with you.

Until his idea of a white picket fence lifestyle started becoming clouded with the harshness of reality. 

Now that college is over, you realize just how little your careers had to offer. After several months of looking, San found something, it wasn’t great but it got his foot in the door and that’s what he wanted, but it made him exhausted everyday. 

The days got longer and the time with you got shorter and it wore on him, but you were the love of his life. 

It all hit him so harshly when he came home from the longest day that he’d had yet, and the coldness hit him. Something wasn’t right, something was different and not in a good way. 

He’d seen it from across the room, a note on the fridge, the fridge filled with pictures of you two, nothing but happy memories. He crosses the room and picks up the piece of paper to read it and as he does the world around him shatters. 

You left. 

While he was gone, you’d packed up your things and moved back in with your parents. He stands there with the note in hand as he tries his damndest to figure out where it all went wrong - did he not love you enough? What did he fail to notice? 

The light of his life, the one he was planning to spend the rest of his life with. 

You’d left him. 

You sighed, you knew your friends were right. You’d spent 6 years with him, spending 8 months trying to get over that didn’t feel like nearly enough, then again you weren’t convinced you’d ever be over it. 

You had to try though, right?

 “Fine, at least they’re mostly your friends,” you look at your friend, defeated. “I won't have to deal with questions about him.”

Both of you had walked into the house party, there were already a sizable number of guests present as you made your way through the party, being dragged by your friend through a crowd of unfamiliar faces. 

She finally reaches the kitchen, and she immediately pours you both a drink. You reluctantly accept the drink with a questioning look.

“Social lubricant, you’re rusty babe,” she smirks at you, taking a sip of her own drink.

You wanted to argue but she was right, you’d felt like a hermit most of the past year. You’d stayed to yourself and kept quiet when at work. You felt lost, like you’d moved here fresh all over again after your break up with San.

It took you weeks to stop instinctively driving back to your shared apartment, after long days at the office when it’d be dark, muscle memory drove you back. 

A few times you contemplated just walking in, apologizing, but you didn’t.

You finish your drink quickly without thinking about it as you chat with your friend, you grab another as she walks through the crowd with you. 

“There is this guy I work with, he’s in the IT department, I want you to meet him - I think you’d like him!” She practically yells over the music as you walk out onto the back patio. 

After looking around briefly she spots him, a tall and lanky boy, she smiles dragging you with her. 

“Yunho!!” she calls out across the yard, causing the boy to look up. 

Oh… He was very attractive. 

You follow closely behind as you both walk up to him, he was taller than you’d first seen and he had beautiful dark brown hair, watching him smile could light up a room. 

“And this is my friend, Y/N,” you’re pulled out of your trance as your name is called, causing you to look up at him as he extends his hand. 

“Yunho, was it?” you question him as he nods softly. 

“Oh would you look at that, one of my work friends just showed up, I’ll be back to check on you guys in a bit!” she smirks as she runs off before you have the chance to say anything.

“So, she’s told me quite a lot about you at work,” Yunho smiles softly

You turn your focus back to him, noticing his bright smile. “I’d hope it’s all good,” you can’t help but chuckle, finding the man's presence comfortable.

“I’d like to think so,” He pauses, taking you in as the two of you stand there in comfortable silence. “So, Y/N, are you… seeing anyone right now?”

You look at the man, slightly shocked.

“N-no,” you stutter, the question seeming to catch you off guard. 

He quirks his eyebrow, but chooses to pay it no mind since your friend had let him know you were most definitely single. 

Just as you were about to reply with something, your eyes happened to catch a familiar face out of the corner of your eye.

Choi San

What the hell was he doing here?  The two of you after the break up never ran in the same circles. You felt every emotion all at one time, and it hit you like a ton of bricks. Not wanting to be rude, you excused yourself from Yunho. You promised you’d catch up with him later, but you needed to go find your friend. 

You’d made your way through the crowd of people, being very careful to not tip San off that you were here. You run up to her, pulling her out of conversation as tears threaten to spill.

“Woah, hey! Chill, what happened?” she looked concerned  as she held onto you. 

“San’s here, I just saw him, we need to leave,” you frantically speak

She cranes her head up and looks around, she doesn’t see the taller boy anywhere, not even in the backyard. 

“Y/N, honey, I think the drinks are getting to you.. I don’t see him,” She reassured you. 

You blinked away the tears in your eyes as you looked around, seeming to agree with her.

“You’re right.. Maybe, just… someone who looks like him,” You sigh.

You’d made your way back outside to find Yunho, who had long disappeared at this point, so you’d settled into a crowd of people. The thought of San settling back into your head, what if he really was here? 

No, she was right, your old apartment was too far from here, unless he’d met someone close. The thought both broke your heart and infuriated you. You had decided to go grab your 4th? 5th? Drink of the night, you’d lost count an hour or so ago. You made your way through a crowd of people before you stumbled into someone's broad back. 

“I’m sorry! I was -,” you paused, as you looked up to greet the stranger attempting to spew apologies, you met a familiar pair of eyes.

“San…?” You spoke softly. 

“Y/N….,” his voice sounded broken, he clearly didn’t expect to find you here either. 

You broke your eye contact after what felt like an eternity, trying to push by him in an attempt to hide your tears from him. He grabs your arm, turning you back around to face him.

“Can we talk? Please?” He begs as the grip on your arm loosens. 

You  search his eyes for a  moment before sighing, “I’ve never been able to tell you no.”

His signature smile beams at you as he gestures to the sliding glass doors signaling for the two of you to head outside. 

The air felt different as you stepped outside with San, almost colder and even more dense. You’d noticed the attendees outside had thinned out. You felt scared, you weren't sure why either. San would never do anything to hurt you, no matter how bad you’d hurt him. Maybe it was the fear of facing him after so long. He’d pulled you to the side of the deck, leaning against  the railing as he took one last look at you before speaking.

“I missed you..,” he spoke softly.

Your heart immediately broke, you knew what you did and there was a part of you that knew you wouldn’t be able to outrun it. 

Not forever. 

“I… I missed you too,” you choked out, unable to look at him. ”Probably for a lot longer than you’ve missed me.” 

He bit his lip, attempting to hold back his tears.

He knew, he finally put the pieces together weeks after you’d left. He was never around, there were nights you’d be asleep and his dinner had been cold or put in the microwave as an attempt to keep it warm. Your days off he was exhausted and his days off you worked. 

The job he’d gotten propelled his career forward, the long nights and strict performance reviews had been worth it, but not at the cost of doing what he did to you, to what the two of you built together.  

“Y/N, I.. I’m sorry.. I was selfish,” his voice was shaky, “I was so focused on trying to make our life perfect, I neglected the most perfect part of mine.”

His eyes were glossy as he looked back at you.

“I never saw you anymore San, the times I did you were asleep or the rare nights we were actually able to sit down for dinner together,” you broke, tears fell down your cheek as you brought your hand up to your face.

“I left that job,” he spoke plainly.

“After you left I worked, maybe for another month, until I realized it drove us apart,” He chokes out, tears welling in his eyes. 

You made eye contact, you both were vulnerable with each other for the first time in what felt like years. 

“I wanted to, no, I should’ve reached out,” he admits, “But I was a coward, I was sure you hated me, and that's the reason you’d left without much of a word.” 

“It took me months to break myself of the habit of showing up at our old home,” you share. 

It must’ve been the alcohol fueling these confessions, the tears, otherwise you’re not sure you’d be standing here with him like this. 

“Every hard day at work, my brain wanted to come home, and it recognized you were home, San,” you dry your face before looking back at him. ”I can’t tell you how many times I sat in our driveway or across the street contemplating on coming back… apologizing for leaving the way I did.” 

“I wish you did…,” he chuckles softly, “I would have welcomed you back with open arms.” 

You stand there, speechless. The man before you should hate you, you walked out a life the two of you spent years building together.

But he didn’t. 

He stood there, his feline eyes drinking in every detail of you, the way you’d cut your hair since the breakup, the necklace he bought you was missing, the way your eyes sparkled with the reflection of the porch light, and the way your face turned so pink when you  drank. 

He missed it. He missed you. 

He smiled at you, a smile you had no reason to be on the receiving end of.

“Byeol misses you too, she sleeps on your side of the bed most nights,” he tells you, chuckling.

“You never moved on?” you reply softly.

“I never dreamed of it…” He said “You were all I ever wanted, and I never got closure… I was hopeful I'd find you again, no matter how long it took.” 

He reached out and grabbed your hand. 

“This may be selfish, and you have every right to hate me but…,” he pauses, “Am I asking too much to try again? One more time?” He looks at you, you can feel the amount of love he still holds for you.

You smiled at him. Closing the distance between the two of you, you wrap your arms around his neck in a tight embrace. He’s taken aback at first, but it doesn’t take long before he wraps his arms around you just as tight.

You whisper softly, barely loud enough to hear.

“One more time.”

[heart-of-the-morningstar]

✨All Dolled Up✨

Lucifer x f!sinner reader

Summary: After months of hard work, Lucifer finally gifted you a welcome present after joining the hotel! In return, you decide to make something of your own just for him! Your gift, however, turns out to be even more special than you intended...

This is a surprise story for my friend @rosen-und-mondlicht who gave me this very creative and fun idea for a story! Love you boo <3

Huge thanks to @canihaveacandycane and @citrusbatsandhoneybees for the help on this one!

Warnings: smut, 18+, fingering, oral (m & f receiving), multiple orgasms, p in v

Welcome to the Hazbin Hotel! We're so happy to have you stay with us! We hope your time here is an enjoyable one!

-Hotel Staff

P.S. Hey there! I'm sorry this took so long to give you, I just had to make it perfect! I hope you like it!

-Lucifer

It was custom for every new resident to receive a welcome letter. Even though you've already been at the hotel for 6 months now, it was still appreciated. You walked into your room and found your very late letter sitting next to a small white box complete with a red bow resting at the foot of your bed. The gift was unexpected; however, you hadn't heard of anyone else receiving one. Once you read the card, you figured you knew the reason for its delay. Lucifer, always the perfectionist, must have stalled the whole operation.

You hadn't expected to become so close to the King of Hell himself. You were weary of him at first, I mean, who wouldn't be? Everyone knew about the fallen angel. But after a while, you started to warm up to him. It was easy to see that he was nothing like you imagined or had been told about while you were alive. He was a kind soul, a dreamer who loved his daughter dearly, and someone who was very, very lonely. You learned about his previous wife Lilith and how she had left several years ago never and hadn't been heard from since. You could tell this deeply affected Lucifer even though he did his best to hide it through his jovial persona. You two grew pretty close, he found you incredibly easy to talk to, as if he had known you his whole life. You enjoyed your time together and you found joy in listening to whatever he chose to ramble on about that day be it his latest project or reminiscing about his daughter Charlie when she was younger. You'd never admit it, but you had developed somewhat of a crush on the king. But who were you to get involved with the ruler of Hell? It wasn't your place as a mere sinner and you dared not ruin the friendship you had built with him, odd as it may be.

Curiously, you picked up the box and casually began to unwrap it. you lifted the lid to find a cute little rubber duck that resembled you! All the little details down to your hair, your eye color, and somehow it managed to capture your smile in its little orange beak. You loved it, no wonder to took him so long to complete; every detail was perfect. It was such a thoughtful gift, and you felt the burning need to return the favor! Who knows the last time Lucifer had been given a gift. Why couldn't it be from you?

You noticed something else in the box too and lifted it up gently. It was a beautiful white and red feather. You knew it must have been his, but did he mean to give this to you as well? Knowing him, he must have worked frantically to get this gift finished. A few must have fallen off during the packing process; you knew how stressed the man could get. But the feather gave you an idea. You couldn't make rubber ducks like him, that was his specialty. But you did, however, know how to make little felt dolls! You were very crafty during your life and you figured you might as well use the skills you have to do something good.

You spent most of the night sewing and stitching everything together, ignoring the many warning signs your body gave you in order to try and get you to sleep. You were stubborn, however. Once you started a project, it was almost impossible for you stop until it was complete. It was nearly dawn by the time you finally finished the little doll. Well, almost finished! Everything was perfect, from the little snake that wrapped around his little hat to the tiny golden buttons on his jacket. There was only one things left to do! You grabbed the feather that you had found your box and delicately placed it inside of the small slit you had left open on the side of the doll. You thought the feather could represent a heart, something meaningful to give the doll and make it different from anything else.

Finally, you stitched the last gap closed, cutting the strong with your teeth to finally complete your gift. You stared at the doll for a moment to admire your work. And you were happy. But something weird happened. Just then, a small flash of golden light emanated from the doll but disappeared as quickly as it came. You set it down and rubbed your eyes. You looked over the doll again for another minute, but the flash of light never returned. You chalked it up to being a trick of the light. And considering the fact that you were sleep deprived, you wouldn't put it past your brain to start pulling tricks on you. You shrugged it off, taking the doll with you to bed. You drifted off to sleep easily, your eyes growing heavy as soon as your head hit the pillow. You clutched the doll close to your chest, giving it a small peck on the cheek.

"Goodnight, Lucifer," you whispered to it before letting your body fall unconscious.

****

You woke up with a start to the sound of your alarm blaring. It was 8:00 a.m. Not nearly enough sleep. You realized you hadn't moved all night; your body must have been too exhausted to toss and turn. You found yourself still holding the doll and smiled to yourself. You were still exhausted, but you knew Charlie would be sad if you missed breakfast, so with all of your remaining strength, you pulled yourself out of bed and begrudgingly began to get ready for the day. You decided you use a small tan paper you had from one of your shopping trips bag to hold the doll, thanking yourself for not just tossing it away like you normally would have.

You made your way to the kitchen knowing Charlie would be preparing breakfast for everyone. But to your surprise, when you entered through the kitchen door, it was not the princess you found at the stove, but her father. You heard him whistling a song you never heard before, a perfect melody. Your heart began to race as you walked a little bit closer to him, the smell of pancakes filling your senses.

"I can hear you, you know," Lucifer called out playfully as he flipped a pancake in the air. You couldn't help but giggle.

"Well, I'm glad," you retorted, now standing beside him. "I didn't really want to be scaring you when you’re working over a hot stove like that."

He gave you a small smirk without looking away from what he was doing. "Oh yeah, that truly would be terrible, wouldn't it?" he laughed. You knew he was more or less invincible, being an angel and all. Still, you didn't want to distract him.

"I thought Charlie was usually the one to prepare breakfast," you commented.

"Oh, she is!" Lucifer smiled. "But I told her I would handle the meals today. My little girl works so hard around here, you know? I thought it would be nice to take something of her plate...so to speak." He chuckled at his own joke as he laid the freshly made stack of pancakes on the neatly assembled row of plates.

"Do you need any help?" you asked, setting down the brown paper bag behind the kitchen island out of his view.

"Sure!" He turned around and pointed to the condiments he had laid out. "Could you hand me the syrup and the whipped cream over there?" You did as he asked and brought him the items. Lucifer began to smother the fluffy cakes in syrup and drawing little ducks with the whipped cream to top them all off. When he was finished, you and him delivered breakfast to the hotel residents. You came back to the kitchen to notice there were two plates of pancakes left.

"Oh, we forgot some," you commented. "Who did we forget?"

Lucifer only smiled. "Those are for us, silly! You have to eat too, don't you?"

In your effort to help, you completely forgot that you hadn't eaten. He handed you your plate and fork and you two stood there eating his delicious creation as you leaned against the countertop.

"These are amazing!" you tried to say with your mouth still half full.

Lucifer swallowed his last bite and gave you a toothy grin. "Why thank you! I'll be honest, I haven't cooked in a long time. I was afraid I had forgot how. But if you like them, then I know I succeeded!"

You set your finished plate down and crossed your arms. Lucifer seemed to be in more high spirits than usual. You liked seeing him like this; just happy. "If you don't mind me saying, Lucifer, your mood seems...different. N-Not in a bad way! Just...more full of energy."

He followed your motion and set his plate down behind him. "You think so?"

"Yeah," you continued. "It's nice to see. I like a happy Lucifer."

He smiled at you and left out a soft sigh. "Can I tell you something?" You tilted your head in confusion but nodded. "This is gonna sound a little weird, maybe a little bit crazy, but just hear me out, okay?"

"Of course! I never think you're crazy," you smiled. His hand found the back of his neck; he looked as though he was nervous about whatever he was about to tell you. Your heart started racing again.

"Last night, when I was sleeping...in the middle of the night, I felt something...I don't know how to say this...constricting me?" You furrowed your brow, not understanding what he was trying to say. "Maybe that's not the right word. Let's say...holding me. That sounds better."

"Holding you?" you questioned, "I'm not sure I get it."

"Okay uhh, let me think..." he placed his hand under his chin. "It almost felt like...cuddling?"

"So...someone was cuddling you last night?" you spoke in a hushed tone. You feared the worst when you heard him say those words. Lucifer noticed your change in demeanor and quickly back peddled.

"No, no, that's the thing! I was alone last night!" he reassured you. "I always sleep alone, ever since..." he shook his head as to move on and forget it. But you knew what he was going to say. "It was the strangest damn thing, in the middle of the night no less! And there was a voice that..."

Your brain refused to acknowledge Lucifer's last few words and were more focused on the fact that he was indeed alone last night. "That...certainly is odd. What could..."

Oh no...

Your eyes went wide with fear, your whole body froze, you couldn't bring yourself to finish your thought.

The doll.

The doll you made for him. You went to bed with it last night. You held it in your arms. You kissed it goodnight!

Oh no, oh no, oh no!

"Is everything alright?" Lucifer snapped you back to reality. "You look paler than me!"

You swallowed hard trying to muster up any sort of response. "Y-Yeah! Yeah, I'm totally fine! I just...I realized I promised I would help Angel with something this morning and I completely forgot! So, I'll see you later!"

You didn't give Lucifer a chance to respond as you ran out the door and grabbed the bag you had hidden from view. You didn't let up until you reached your room and slammed the door behind you. You set the bag down carefully onto your bed and gingerly removed the doll from it, using only your nails to hoist it out. You let it lay in your hand as you stared at it with panicked eyes.

"What the hell did I do?!" you asked yourself in a berating tone. "It's just a doll, it shouldn't have - hold on..." A sudden memory came flooding back to you. You called the doll emitting a strange light the night before as soon as you finished sewing the remaining stitches. Last night, you thought it was just the trick of the light; it was late and you were beyond exhausted. But that didn't explain why Lucifer was able to feel you holding him last night. The last thing you did was add "...the feather!"

That must be it! His feather must have caused the connection. Lucifer was an angel after all, a magical being of pure light. Surely anything that was a part of him would carry those same properties. You had to get rid of it! But how? You didn't know the extent of what this doll could feel. Surely stabbing it with a knife would cause him some pain...you think. Given Lucifer was more or less indestructible,  you still didn't really want to test that theory.

So, you stood there with the doll limp in your hand unsure of what to do with it next.

You couldn't bring yourself to destroy it, you put so much work into it and it would kill you to get rid of something that was meant to be an innocent gift. The best option would be to hide it, leave somewhere no one would find it and forget that it even exists. But then, the thought of Lucifer's smile crosses your mind. He was so happy this morning, happier than you've ever seen him. And it was because of you. Not that you would every dream of telling him that. But maybe...maybe it would be alright if you kept it. If you held it close to you at night. Perhaps it wasn't the most moral decision, but hey, you're in Hell, morality is not a common practice here. You brought that doll to your chest and held it tight. "I'm sorry..." you murmured to it, "If I can't tell you how I really feel, maybe this is the next best thing."

For the next several nights, you went to bed with the held tightly. And for the next several days, you couldn't bring yourself to face Lucifer. Anytime you heard him approaching or his voice getting closer, you ran the other direction. But not far enough to completely miss him. While you hid from his view, he had that same jovial expression since the day you made breakfast together. It warned your heart to know that what you were doing had a positive effect on him, even though you couldn't shake the guilt that came with that either. Sometimes he would catch you by surprise and spot you from across the hall. Lucifer would call out to you but you made it a point to get out of there as fast as possible. Strangely enough, he never sought you out after you ran, but you thought that was for the best.

One night before you went to bed, you sat up on your mattress staring at your creation resting in your palms.

"I'm a coward," you told yourself. "I should just tell him the truth. Why am I even doing this? I want him to be happy, but this isn't right. I shouldn't have put the feather in there, I should have just thrown this in my closet and not given it a second thought. But no! Now I'm avoiding him like a frightened cat because I don't have the guts to tell him..." You sighed. "One more night. Just one more. And then I'm done. I'll never think about this again." You turned off your lamp and drifted off into a dreamless sleep.

****

You cracked your eyes open the next morning, the light of the red sky filling your room. You sat up and rubbed your eyes before feeling around for your doll. You couldn't find it. Your opened your eyes wider. The doll wasn't there. You leaped from the bed and quickly began turning over your covers and throwing the pillows onto the floor. Nothing. You dropped to the ground and peered under your bed to a shocking sight. You gasped.

Keekee somehow found her way into your room. And what was in her mouth other than your little Lucifer doll.

"Keekee," you called to her. "I'm gonna need that back, sweetie! That's not a toy!" Your hand reached out slowly, trying not to spook the little cat. Her tail whipped back and forth as she raised her hind legs. "Nooooooo, don't you dare Keekee, I swear I'll..." but before you could finish your threat, she bolted from under your bed and ran straight out of your room. "Damn it!"

You didn't have time to change and in that moment you didn't care. You flung the door wide open and watched Keekee turn the corner, the doll still in her tiny mouth. "Keekee, get back here!" you yelled down to her as quietly as you could. You didn't know what time it was but it was too early to be cursing at a cat. She scurried away into another hall, forcing you to chase after her. You never lost sight of her, which you thought was a little odd. Normally Keekee could disappear if she really wanted to, but at no point did she ever make an attempt to avoid you completely. It was almost like she wanted you to follow her.

After several crazy turns, you saw her duck into and open door in one of the hallways. You figured it must be a closet. She was finally trapped. You hurried over to the dark room and pushed the door shut so the cat couldn't escape easily. But now you couldn't see.

"Keekee, come here girl," you cooed. "I promise I'm not mad, I just want the doll back." You found it a little ridiculous that you were trying to barter with a cat, but it was early in the morning and your hadn't fully woken up yet. "This isn't funny anymore, you know. Please, Keekee, I need that back!"

"And why would that be?" a low voice boomed in the dark. You shrieked as the lights flashed on. After blinking a few times trying to get your eye to readjust, you realized where you ended up.

Lucifer's workshop...with Lucifer sitting at his desk, Keekee snuggled in his lap.

Shit.

The first thing you could process was that you were still in your nightgown. Instinctively, you threw your hands over your chest in shock and embarrassment.

"Oh, God, I'm sorry!" Lucifer apologized, quickly covering his eyes with his forearm. "H-Here!" With a snap of his fingers, a giant blanket formed around you, covering you from head to toe. You gripped it tightly to keep in from falling off your shoulders. Lucifer peaked through his arm to make sure you were decent. "Sorry again, I should have realized you wouldn't have been dressed yet." You felt your cheeks burn as he spoke. He reached down to pet Keekee who had then dropped the doll into his other hand. "Such a good girl, Keekee!" he praised her, "who's a good girl? You are! Yes you are!" He looked back up at you and cleared his throat. Lucifer stood up from his chair while Keekee leaped onto the ground, curling up into a ball, and taking a little nap under his desk.

You swallowed hard before finally finding your voice to speak. "L-Lucifer, I-I can explain! I-"

"It's alright," the fallen angel smiled. "I'm sorry about all this, but you've been avoiding me lately. I knew you'd follow Keekee once you realized she stole this from you." He held out the doll in his hand. "You made this?"

You nodded your head, refusing to make any sort of eye contact. "It was meant as a gift for you. The duck you gave me was amazing, I wanted to give you something in return, but..." you couldn't bring yourself to finish your sentence. Lucifer continued to smile softly at you. This was definitely not the reaction you were expecting from him. You had so many questions and so many apologies to give him, but there was one burning question that you needed answered first. "Did you know something like this was possible?"

Lucifer shook his head. "No, I didn't. One of my feathers is in this, right?" You nod. "It must still contain its magic despite not being attached to me anymore."

Your eyes shifted to the ground. "How did you know it was me?"

"I heard you." You raised your eyebrow, not understanding his answer. "I heard your voice. Anytime you held the doll, I heard you, as if you were whispering in my ear. At first, I didn't recognize it. But as you kept talking, the words you were saying; it all clicked. I've been trying to get your attention these last few days but you ran as soon as you saw me. Were you...afraid that I would be angry?"

You nodded again, tears now welling up in your eyes. "I-I'm sorry, Lucifer, I didn't mean to...I just..."

"Hey, hey! Please don't cry! Please?" Lucifer quickly wiped away the tears that fell down your cheek. "I'm not angry, I promise! I'm the furthest thing from it!"

You sniffled a few times, trying to even out your breathing again. "You...You're not? But why?"

Lucifer looked down at the doll in his hand and sighed. "Because...I haven't felt that kind of care in a long time. " He gently ran his hands over the small striped undershirt of the tiny Lucifer. "Hehe, it feels weird when I do it..." He looked back up at you with the most needy eyes you've ever seen. "I should have talked to you immediately after I figured out what was going on. I should have made more of an effort. But I didn't. I know that's selfish of me. But...I was afraid if I did, you would stop. Every time I tried to talk to you, you ran. And I was silently grateful that you did. It meant I would get to feel that same feeling of being held again that night. When you said that last night would be the final time, I knew I had to come clean. I couldn't let you go on thinking that what you were doing was wrong. I hope you can forgive me."

He was apologizing to you? When you were the one that made this magical doll and refused to tell him about it? "You have nothing to be sorry for, I created this, and I didn't tell you what was happening when I learned what I'd done. This is my fault."

"Can I see your hand?" Lucifer asked, almost as if he was ignoring the blame you were putting on yourself. You did as he asked and outstretched your hand. He placed the doll flat in your palm. "You're very skilled, you know. You did a wonderful job capturing my good side," he chuckled. "I know this was originally meant for me, but I want you to keep it. What you do with it is up to you." You remained perfectly as he spoke. "If you want to forget that this ever happened, I would completely understand. You can put it on a shelf or hide it in a closet, and this will never be brought up again." His palms rested on top of the doll and the bottom of your hand. "But..." his grip tightened ever so slightly, his claws digging into the fabric.

"You don't want that, do you?" his thoughts leaving your mouth. Lucifer didn't respond, he didn't even look up as you asked him.

That was all the answer you needed.

You pulled away and hid the doll under your blanket, giving him a soft smile. "I'll keep it...you safe. I promise. If it's what you really want."

"I do." The king couldn't help but beam at you. He wrapped his arms around you, constricting your own. He pulled away once he realized how hard he had been squeezing you. "Sorry," he laughed lightly. "Umm, by the way, i-if you ever need me, you can use the doll to talk to me if I'm not around. It can be about anything..." he leaned in closer and closer to you until you felt the light brush of his lips against your cheek. "And I do mean anything. I don't want to, you know, assume anything, but there had to be a reason why you went to bed with the doll every night. Some of the things you said...it sounded like you had more that you wanted to say. I just don't want you to be afraid. We're friends after all, right?"

Your heart was beating out of your chest as you listened to his words. You tried to speak but only air left your lips. Lucifer only giggled as you watched his cheeks turn a pale yellow. You couldn't believe what he was inferring. it couldn't be possible. And yet here you were with Lucifer himself practically begging for more of your attention.

"I...I don't know what to say," you finally managed to choke out. "This is all a little overwhelming, Lucifer."

"Then don't say anything," Lucifer responded. "Take all the time you need. I hope to see you soon," With a snap of his fingers, you were engulfed in sparkling red flame. You shielded your eyes for a brief moment. But after opening them again, you found yourself back in your bedroom. You walked over to your open door and quietly closed it, sinking to the floor afterwards. There was a lot you needed to process. The blanket that covered you fell to the floor as you ogled at the doll in your hand.

You hugged it tighter than you ever had before.

****

The rest of the day was perfectly quiet, mostly because you did see Lucifer for the rest of it. You cautiously approached Charlie and asked about him. She let you know that her dad told her he needed his privacy today and that no one should worry. Her words didn't comfort you like you hoped they would. Was Lucifer okay? Did this whole ordeal cause him to isolate himself. Did he change his mind about it? Your heart sunk at the thought. You needed to talk to him again, but you weren't sure you could face him. But...there was another option.

Later that night, you threw on your robe to get ready for a nice long bath. After the day you had, you needed it. You glanced over at the little stuffed doll sitting on your night stand, now hearing your own heartbeat in your ears. It was now or never; you wouldn't let your nerves get the better of you anymore. You took a hold of it and sat down on your bed, now extra aware of  your hand movements.

"Lucifer, can you hear me?" You asked. There was no response. "I guess that was a stupid question. Hey, umm, I wanted to thank you. For today, I mean. I was so afraid that this situation would sully our friendship so badly that you'd never want to talk to me again. I hope you're doing alright. And I hope Keekee's teeth didn't hurt you too badly. I'm rambling now, aren't I?" In that moment, you could almost hear Lucifer's laugh.

The grip on you had on it tightened ever so slightly as you gathered the courage for what you really wanted to say. "You were right before. When you thought I had more to say to you. I-I did. But I didn't know how you would take it if I ever told you. I was afraid of your reaction. And your rejection. But...I don't have the strength to tell you in person." You brought the doll closer to your face, your lips ghosting over the fabric. "I love you," you whispered before planting a small peck to its small cheek.

Silence.

Your breath heaved slightly before setting the doll back down. You closed your eyes and let out a heavy sigh. It was done. There was nothing more you can do. You stood up and headed straight for the tub. You needed that bath now more than ever.

Knock knock knock

You froze in place for a few seconds, a little bit frightened by the sudden noise that emanated from your bedroom door.

Knock knock knock knock knock

The knocking on the door became more eager. You hurried over to answer after waiting a little too long to answer. Silently, you opened the door.

Lucifer was standing there in the hallway with the brightest smile.

"I love you too. I only wish you would have told me sooner," the ruler of Hell whispered as he gripped your hands. "Because then I could have done this!"

With little warning, Lucifer brought his lips to yours. You sat there in shock, eyes wide, before quickly succumbing to his temptations. You let your eyes lids fall as you wrapped your arms around the back of his neck, pulling him closer while his hands found your waist. A delicate kiss to your soft lips, over and over he lightly parted his own as he continuously nipped at you. He pulled away, staring back with his half-lidded eyes. You could have sworn he was drunk of the kiss the way his face formed into a goofy grin. He giggled just a little before widening his eyes in shock and stepping away.

"I'm sorry! I don't know how I keep catching you at the worst times!" he exclaimed now looking at the ceiling to avoid your gaze. You realized what had caused him to get so flustered. You looked down and remembered that you were in your robe.

And only your robe.

You blushed hard, not being able to stop yourself from laughing. "No, no, it's okay! This one's on me, I shouldn't have called you dressed like this."

"But you didn't know I was going to pop over here! My fault, I don't wanna hear any 'buts'!" Lucifer turned his head to the side still doing his best not to look at you.

"Well, I was just getting ready for a bath..." you began.

"O-Oh, yeah, of course! No worries! I really should have thought this through, I just got really excited and I...Anyway! We can talk about this tomorrow! So, I'll just be-"

"My bath is big enough for two." You blurted out without thinking.

At that moment, you could hear a pin drop. What was only a few moments felt like an eternity of silence. Your first instinct was to shut the door and lock it as fast as possible, but your body refused to budge. You just stood there horrified at the words that had escaped your mouth.

Lucifer wasn't faring much better. You watched his whole face turn a bright yellow that spread rapidly over his painted cheeks. And...was he shaking?

"I don't know why I said that," you mumbled almost incoherently. "if you need me, I'll be drowning myself now." You began to close the door before Lucifer caught it.

"I don't want you to drown," he spoke softly with just a hint of humor in his voice. "I better stay to make sure you're safe."

His words shot threw you like an arrow and your body instinctively opened the door once more to let your visitor in. The implications of his acceptance of your accidental offer crashed over you as soon as Lucifer closed the door behind him. He gave you a sheepish smile, his face's yellow tint had yet to rescind.

"I-I'll uhh, I'll draw the bath then," you squeaked and scurried over to the bathroom without another word. You tossed a towel for him onto your bed and hid yourself in the next room as the water began to fill the tub. You felt as though you could pass out at any moment; the crushing anxiety mixed with your burning desire to be as close to him as physically possible was a terrifying yet tantalizing feeling. To counter your worry, you grabbed some bottled soap from the counter and mixed it in with the steaming water, creating thousands of little white bubbles that threatened to spill over onto the floor. You would worry about any mess made later; right now, you wanted to savor this moment as much as you possibly could. Disrobing, you stepped into the now full tub and sunk down into the soothing water. Your heart was still beating a mile a minute but the water did half a sort of calming effect on you.

Knock knock knock

Well, that didn't last long.

"May I join you now?" Lucifer's muffled voiced called out.

A few quick deep breaths later, you cleared your throat, praying your voice wouldn't reveal how utterly stressed you were. "Y-Yes, come in!" Perhaps a poor choice of words, but you didn't have time to think about that when you caught your first glimpse of a nearly naked Lucifer. His alabaster skin looked as if he had been carved from the finest marble, his shoulders were broad compared to his relatively slim physique. Your eyes trailed to his blackened arms and hands that perfectly contrasted the rest of his skin. He was the epitome of perfection. The man closed the door behind him and made his way over to you.

"H-Hi," Lucifer stuttered.

"Heeeyyyyy there..." you rolled your eyes. "Listen, we can agree this is just a little awkward, right?"

Lucifer chuckled. "Maybe just a little bit. How's the water?"

"Join me and see for yourself! I'll just umm..." you turned your head and covered the side of your face with your hand, assuring you wouldn't see anything once he removed his towel.

"I'm not shy, hon." You just knew if you turned around, he would have the most prideful smirk on his face.

"You should get in before I change my mind," you playfully shot back.

You heard his towel hit the floor immediately. A fiery heat burned your core as the water shifted when he made his way in the tub. You closed your eyes for good measure so that you wouldn't be tempted to make this even more awkward than it already was. As soon as the water stopped moving, you took that as a sign that it was safe to look again. You turned your head to see Lucifer was sitting back against the other side playfully running his hands through the soapy bubbles that were floating on the surface.

"I love the bubbles, a very nice touch!" he commented.

"Thanks," you murmured. "You're sitting the wrong way though."

"Huh?"

"W-Well," you cleared your throat, "how am I supposed to clean you if you’re sitting so far away?"

"Oh...oh! Yeah, you're right!" Lucifer quickly spun his body around, his back now facing you. You spread your legs wider for him to scoot up closer to you, but he remained closer to the center of the tub. "Is this better?"

"Still a little too far..." The time for embarrassment had long gone. You grabbed a hold of Lucifer's hips and brought his body nearly flush between your thighs, earning a yelp from the startled angel. "What happened to not being shy, hmm?" you taunted. You could have sworn a little whimper escaped his throat.

Despite its frigid appearance, his body was warmer than you expected. You didn't let your hands linger on his waist for too long nor did you want to think about how his ass was mere inches away from your yearning womanhood. You forced yourself out of the trance and instead grabbed the washcloth and body soap from the small table and began to pour some of the liquid into the small towel, rubbing it between your fingers. "You promise to tell me if this becomes too much?"

Lucifer turned his head with a soft look on his face. "I promise that it won't be." You hummed, slowly bringing the cloth to his skin. He shuddered from the contact.

"Are you alright, Lucifer?"

He exhaled deeply. "I'm alright. More than alright! I'm just...really enjoying this. Thank you..."

You didn't waist anymore time scrubbing the rest of his back clean. Moving to his shoulders, down each arms, then reaching around the front to get to his chest. Without realizing, your head found its way to one of his shoulders, your chin resting comfortably. A soft sigh left your lips.

"Hey, uhh, y-you're going a little low there..." Lucifer said, his voice snapping you out of your haze. Your hand somehow drifted below the water and ended up resting on his lower stomach. Once you realized where you were heading, you pulled your arms away immediately.

"Sorry!" you nearly shouted. "I-I wasn't paying attention! Shit, I'm sorry!"

Lucifer shifted again, now facing you and gave you a small peck. "Sweetheart, it's alright, really! You don't need to apologize." Lucifer took the rag from your hand and made his way back to where he first started against the other side of the tub. "Here, let me return the favor. It's your turn now." With mild hesitation, you accepted his help wordlessly, turning your back to him as he did for you. Afraid of getting any closer, you stopped before any noticeable contact had been made. "I need you closer, dear," he whispered in your ear before pulling you against his chest with minimal effort.

You felt everything in that moment; his hands resting on your hips, his hot breath against your sensitive skin, and most distracting of all, his very noticeable hard on against the small of your back. It took everything you had to not scream like you wanted to. Knowing that this perfect creator was turned on by you made your heart flutter like a butterfly. Your body begged your to shift, if only a little bit, just to feel him rub against you. But you fought it against it furiously, digging your finger into the sides of his thighs to keep yourself grounded. The way your body tensed caused Lucifer to push you away from him slightly.

"Too much?" he asked, concerned that he may have crossed a line.

"No." you shook your head. You pushed yourself back against him, the friction sending a shiver up your spine. The low moan from Lucifer was magical, almost hypnotic. You needed to hear more. But before you could shift again, you felt the soft texture of the washcloth against your back.

"Good," his voice causing goosebumps to form on your arms, "now let's get you clean." He mimicked your movements, gliding the cloth against your soft skin, starting from the top and working his way down methodically. He moved to your shoulders, first the left and the right. Every muscle in your body just wanted to relax into him; you only wanted to float in this water with him for the rest of the night. But you were snapped out of your daydream when you noticed his movements had stopped. You looked down and saw his hand resting on your collarbone. It took only a moment to realize why the devil himself became a statue.

Lucifer swallowed hard behind you. "Am I allowed to...can I...?"

With a small giggle, you took the cloth from his hand and tossed it to the ground. Pulling your hands out of the water, you guided his own hands to your breasts. Lucifer gasped lightly but didn't pull away once your released his hands. His claws felt so nice on your bare skin that you let out a gasp of your own. "I think we're past the point of modesty, Lucifer. Go ahead, I-I want you to touch me."

Your permission was all he needed. Within a second, the king of Hell began to massage your breasts with the most delicate of touches, kneading them like fresh dough. His mouth sank down onto your pulse, sucking on it feverishly. A small whimper escaped your throat as he began to roll your nipples between his fingers. The man was intoxicated and you were the cause.

"You're too good to me, you know that?" he breathed against your skin. "Do you know how long I've wanted to tell you how beautiful you are? How enchanting? How irresistible?" One of his hands made its way down your side to your hip, sinking beneath the water and resting on your inner thigh. "To hold you like this is a dream come true."

"Lucifer, please..." you begged. Your hand found his once more and guided it down to where you needed him most. Once his fingers reached your folds, you couldn't help but whimper. In no time, he began circling your clit gingerly while his other hand worked at your breast. It was too much and not enough at the same time. You opened your legs as wide as your tub would allow to give him more access to your needy hole.

"Tell me what you want, love," he whispered in your ear. "Just say the word and it's yours."

"Touch me..." you pleaded.

You felt a finger slip into you effortlessly, a broken moan falling from your lips. You turned your head and crashed your lips into his, your desire for him only growing with every passing second. Another one of his fingers slid into you, his digits gliding in and out of your pussy with ease. He moaned into your mouth as he continued to pump his digits into your cunt, his pace increasing slowly with every movement.

"Need more of you..." he pleaded. "Please..." His fingers refused to let up. The coil in your stomach was growing tighter and tighter. You cried out in pure elation when you felt the coil finally give way, cumming hard and pulsing around his fingers that had yet to slow down. Once you could breathe normally against, he at last retreated his fingers from you, giving you a small peck on your forehead.

"T-Thank you," you mumbled out. "I think we're both pretty clean now, wouldn't you say."

"I'd say your right," Lucifer agreed. In a flash, Lucifer managed to stand up and scoop you up effortlessly as if you weighed nothing. You let out a small yelp when he picked you up and set you down on the bathroom floor, retrieving a towel from the nearby rack and sliding it up and down your body before using it on himself. "But I think this is all for naught," he continued as he guided you back to your bed, "because I think we may need another bath, I'm afraid."

He laid you down and quickly shoved his heads between your legs. You realized what he was about to do and sat up before he could go any further. "Wait, wait, hold on now!" Lucifer's eyes looked back at you with concern. "I don't think this is fair! What about you? I haven't even touched you yet!"

Lucifer gaze softened. "Oh, hon, I appreciate it but you don't have to worry about me! I-I'm fine, really! I just...I really need to taste you... Please, I'll do anything!"

You closed your legs and folded your arms over your chest, earning a tiny whimper from the man in front of you. "I seem to recall that I could have anything I wanted," you teased. Lucifer nodded and stuck out his lower lip to pout. You rolled your eyes and smiled, crawling over to him. "I have an idea. But you need to lay down for me. Can you do that?"

He did as you said almost instantly, his head hitting the back of the pillows with a soft thud. At this point you couldn't help but stare at his twitching cock. It was beautiful; thicker and longer than you might have expected from someone of his stature. Not that you would ever complain. You had to hold yourself back from letting out a whine that threatened to make you sound even more pathetic. You closed your eyes and crawled over the devil beneath you. You leaned down to kiss him again, his tongue not holding back from pushing through your lips and entangling it with yours. You pulled away and smiled unabashedly at him, admiring his perfect face and his insanely adorable blush. Without a word, you turned your body so your pussy hovered inches away from his mouth.

"S-Shit..." you heard Lucifer mutter under his breath. Knowing you had this much of an effect on him gave you the confidence you needed to grab ahold of his aching member. Lucifer couldn't help but cry out.

"This way we both get what we want," you told him before giving his tip a tiny little kitten lick. The precum from his shaft had already begun spilling onto your hand; you couldn't help but grin. "Someone is needyyyyYYYY F-FUCK!"

Lucifer pulled your hips down onto his face without warning, his tongue working at your slick cunt like a man starved. HIs claws dug into the sides of your body, the pain mixing with the undeniable pleasure his mouth gave you. Not to be outdone, you sunk your mouth down on his cock, licking and sucking at the tip. Lucifer moaned into your pussy at the feeling of your tongue. Both of your lust-filled sounds filled your room as you each sought to bring the other to their climax. You wouldn't let him win. You couldn't.

Your head bobbed up and down his girthy shaft over and over, taking in as much of him as you could. But with your growing pace came Lucifer's own counter move as his forked tongue pushed even further into you than you thought possible. You were both coming undone impossibly fast. Even with your head fuzzy from the tantalizing feeling of his mouth, your hand and mouth worked together in tandem to push him over the edge. Lucifer cursed against your skin as you felt his hot cum finally fill your waiting mouth. But it only took him a few seconds more to bring you to another orgasm after he begun to tease your clit over and over and over, refusing to give you any sort of reprieve.

You swallowed as much of his as you could before letting go of his cock with a satisfying pop with some of his release dripping down towards your chin. You wiped your fingers against the remains and made sure he watched as you licked them clean. Something in Lucifer must have snapped because the next thing you knew, you had been flipped down onto the mattress with your wrists pinned at your sides. You blinked and stared up into Lucifer now glowing red eyes; his. His demonic horns had burst from his temple, his angelic wings appeared and began flapping behind him, and his tail whipped back and forth before coiling itself around your waist. You gulped, your pussy begging to be filled by the man above you.

"Sorry," Lucifer apologized. "I got a little too excited there." He freed your hands and brought them down to your hips. "D-Do you want to keep going? We can stop if this is too much and-"

You cut him off with a soft kiss to his lips. "It's alright, Luci. I want this. I want you."

Lucifer smiled and kissed you again, stroking his still hard cock in the process. When he pulled away, you felt the tip graze your slick folds. That feeling alone was enough to make you shudder with anticipation. With final nod from you, Lucifer at last began to sink into you. You winced at the pain you felt as your body forced itself to stretch for him until he finally bottomed out inside of you. The pain slowly faded as he waited patiently, smiling at you the entire time.

"Y-You can move now," you squeaked out.

Lucifer nodded, shifting his hips just enough to pull out of you almost all the way before thrusting back in, earning a wanton moan from you. He started slow for you, knowing his size was a bit much to handle. But as your body relaxed, his picked up the pace. Faster and faster until both of you were complete and utter moaning messes.

"F-Fuck...feel so good, love," Lucifer sighed as his wings began to twitch. "S-So good. So perfect...I'm really happy y-you made that doll. I-I know everything didn't go exactly as planned but...GAAHHH FFFFUCK...I think it all turned out f-for the better, don't you think?"

Your moans turned into giggles as he continued to rut into you relentlessly. "You're s-such a dork," you laughed as your legs wrapped around him to force him to keep him as deep inside you as possible.

"B-But I'm your dork," he joked back. "Sorry love, but you're stuck with m-me now!"

"G-Good," you responded breathlessly, his hips thrusting into you even faster than before. "Then we c-can be dorks together!"

"P-Perfect!" Your cunt sucked in his cock as you felt the coil in your stomach tightening again. By the noises he was making, you can only assume Lucifer was almost at his limit too. "Darling...c-can't...I'm close...f-fuck...where-"

"Inside!" you screamed. "FuckfuckfuckFUCK LUCIFER!" Your orgasm hit you like a freight train, your wanton cries echoing off the corners of your room. It only took a few more thrusts for Lucifer to follow suit and spill his seed inside of you, his cum painting your walls a pearlescent white was he pulled you in close for another passionate kiss.

The king crashed on top of you after pulling out of you, his unearthly features retreating except for his tail which remained firmly wrapped around you. You smiled as he laid his head on your chest, his breathing labored and shaky. You stroked his soft blond hair as he hummed in approval. He looked up at you with adoring eyes and stuck out his snake-like tongue.

"What's that look for?" you asked him.

"Oh nothing," Lucifer sighed, "I'm just looking at the prettiest woman in all of Hell is all!"

You pushed his face away and laughed. "Yep, still a dork."

"But you love me!" he said gleefully, rolling onto the bed and pulling you into a tight embrace.

"I do, I really do. I wish I would have told you sooner."

Lucifer kissed the top of your forehead. "Don't worry, hon, I know now. And that's all that matters. Besides, I finally get to hold you now! And wow, does it feel like heaven!"

You buried your face in his chest and squeezed him tight. "Well, I can say for certain that you feel much better than the doll. Would you...like to stay over tonight?"

"Of course I would love," he spoke softly. "I have you in my arms now, and I don't intend on ever letting you go."

~~~~

THIS TOOK WAY TOO FUCKING LONG, I HOPE YOU LIKE IT ANYWAY!!!!!!!!!!!

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[wosoamazing]

Emails, Transfer Disputes and Harper

Summary: You get a long awaited email, there are some transfer disputes at camp and you spend time with Harper

Warnings: Some swearing, yelling I guess, angst (I think)

A/N: Plot twist..... maybe, maybe not?

You were sitting against the back wall of the common room finishing off the last of your schoolwork for the day. When you got an email, not just an email, the email, you opened the email and started reading, not caring that essentially the rest of the team was in the room.

‘Dear Y/F/N Williamson, this email is regarding your senior education, blah blah, after many discussions within our team and consultations with Arsenal FC and Football Australia we have come to a decision on your request, blah blah, I am pleased to inform you that your request has been fulfilled in addition to the removal of all internal exams, which will instead be replaced with assignments, thus in your final year of your education you will have three assignments per subject to complete. Blah blah blah’

It’s safe to say a wave of relief flooded over you, you had put in this request 6 months ago, your final year of school was looming just 3 weeks away now, and so too were the Olympics in a year, tears started to stream out your eyes, you couldn’t believe it, you didn’t think they would say yes, the request was purely put in to see, no one thought they would say yes, let alone do more.

“What’s wrong” a soft voice said as a small hand was placed on your shoulder, you looked up to see sweet little Harper in front of you.

“These aren’t sad tears Harps, these are happy tears,” you replied to her, pulling her in for a great big hug.

“What’s happening, are you okay Y/N/N?” Steph said as her and Sam walked in totally confused, everyone turned around to see you tears streaming down you face, hugging harper, with a huge smile on your face, they were also totally confused.

“They, they said yes Steph,” “Who did? Wait. No, they said yes! Om my God, I’m so happy for you.”

“Who said yes?” “The education people, she-”

“Read,” you said shoving the computer into Steph’s hands, standing up, now holding Harper, who just pressed her head into the crock of your neck and relaxed, which Mini took a photo of, she had so many photos of you and Harper together, she could fill a stadium with them.

“Dear Y/F/N Williamson, this email is regarding your senior education, whatever, whatever, after many discussions within our team and consultations with Arsenal FC and Football Australia we have come to a decision on your request, whatever, I am pleased to inform you that your request has been fulfilled in addition to the removal of all internal exams, which will instead be replaced with assignments, thus in your final year of your education you will have three assignments per subject to complete. Whatever, whatever.” Said read the email out loud, her mouth dropped in shock. “Wait, they’re doing more?”

“Yep” you replied emphasising the P.

“Wait this means you are available to be picked for the Olympics now, we need to go to Tony”.

“You do know there is no guarantee you will be picked though right” someone said.

“Uh, have you seen the girl play,” Sam responded.

“She makes the oppositions defence look like a joke; trust me I’ve been on the other side of it” Alanna added.

“Anyway, if I don’t get picked for this team, I have been promised there is a spot for me on another team. I’ll tell Tony tomorrow; I wouldn’t be surprised if they’ve been told as well though.”

“You know what I loved to see you place against Barca,”

“Well, if you accept Emma’s offer that could hap-” Sam started but you cut her off “Yeah and if I accepted Barca’s offer I could play for Barca.”

“Wait, you’ve got offers from Barca and Chelsea?” Steph asks.

“Yeah, and City, and like basically every other club, can we not talk about this right now?”

“But have you actually thought about this, this is serious,” “Yeah, I’m not an imbecile contrary to what you may think, Arsenal found out and offered more than Barca and Chelsea, but they raised them, I told Arsenal, and they are coming back to me,”

“Wait, Emma raised her offer? She was already offering more than she pays me, that’s insane, and Barca did too, and Arsenal might raise them again.” Sam questions with surprise in her voice.

“Yeah” you say back to her, slightly insulted by how much shock she is in.

“So, you’re staying at Arsenal?” Caitlin askes.

“I don’t know, I have to think about it, talk to my parents about it, have the dreaded conversation with Leah, honestly Leah is probably the reason Arsenal is trying to raise again, if I go, she’ll probably go too. But even if she doesn’t go lets be honest, the team works the way it does and its successful because of the dynamic we have, a very fragile dynamic at that, with any one of us gone, its going to fall down a cliff, which is risky, its risky to stay at Arsenal, Barca might not ever offer this sort of money again, or even worse they might not ever give me an offer again” you pause for a moment before you put Harper on the ground “why don’t you go back to your Mama” she nods and walks back over to Mini, who sends you an apologetic look, she knew why you put Harper down and it shouldn’t have to be that way but it is “Arsenal is the dream team, you are all amazing everyone there is my family, but Barca is also the dream team, playing with the best players day in day out at training, competing against some of the best, a +66 goal difference, I mean how could you not want that, and the fact that they increased their offer after Arsenal raised them that means something, you get an offer at Barca you jump at it you, don’t look at the figure, you don’t question, we all know how it works, you question, you hesitate Barca takes the offer away, and Lucy and Kiera say everyone there is super friendly and lovely and they think I would fit right in.”

“You’ve spoken to Lucy Bronze and Kiera Walsh about Barca? But haven’t mentioned a word about it to anyone at Arsenal, your club”.

“Yeah, it’s not like I owe you guys anything”.

“So, Chelsea isn’t on the cards th-” “No Sam Chelsea isn’t on the cards, Chelsea was never on the fucking cards, it was always going to be Baraca or Arsenal. Why am I letting you all do this to me? It’s my decision. It’s my fucking life! I’m going up” you start to walk away, before you turn around and look at Sam and Steph “and don’t you dare even think to follow me,” and with that your gone.

______

“Shit” Sam said.

“Well, we fucked that one up,” Steph added.

“Yep, you did” Raso replied as she got up.

“Where are you going?”

“To go check on her,”

“But-” “no, that was directed at you two, and also anyone else who said something, I’m neutral territory here”.

The team was left in silence until Steph broke it “Shit, I have our Room key. We were on better terms this morning; we didn’t think she would need her own”.

“I’ll go up, give it here, she probably won’t want to stay in there tonight anyway. She can stay with me. Here Charli take Harper, I’ll be back down for her though”.

____

“Hey kid, are you okay?” Hayley asks you; she seems very hesitant, she didn’t get much else in before Mini came up.

“Rass, I’ve got it from here” Mini said, Hayley got up and left, knowing this was more of a Mini job.

Mini sat down next to you, “No, but are you okay?” she asks while putting an arm around your shoulders, a few tears escape your eyes, which you quickly and aggressively wipe away.

“I-I, I don’t know” you sigh.

“They shouldn’t have done that, they immediately regretted it, but still they shouldn’t have done that, it’s absolutely incredible that, this is happening, they should be happy for you, but I think they let their pride and hurt egos get in the way.”

“I just don’t understand how they can go from talking about how ‘amazing’ I am to then being surprised I got an offer from more than one club, and from big clubs at that.”

“Yeah, I know, I think Steph was a bit caught out, she spends so much time with you and-”

“Yeah, but it’s not like anyone knew, not even Leah”.

“Yeah, I know, I think Steph was truly caught off guard, you talk like Arsenal is your home and then just blurt out you’re thinking about moving, I don’t think she thought you had thought about it.”

“Well, Arsenal is my home, but they say home is where the heart is, and I think if you take out the players my heart isn’t there, and I just feel like things are getting too easy at Arsenal, and I want a change, I’ve been part of arsenal for so long, first through Leah, then the academy and now, I love arsenal, it will always hold a piece of my heart, but I think I need to move, I want to improve, and that’s not going to happen at Arsenal”

“Well, that was easy”.

“What do you mean?”

“I don’t know about you, but I’m pretty certain you’ve made your decision, you just need to tell Leah, and the others. Trust me, once they get over their hurt egos, and feelings of betrayal they will be happy for you, and Leah has already been caught off guard by you once”.

“Yeah okay, where is my number one supporter by the way?”

“Oh she is downstairs with Charli, I thought it was best if I left her down there so we could have an adult conversation, but I have this which you might want.” She hands you your room key, “get the stuff you’ll need for tonight and tomorrow, you can have a sleepover with harper and me tonight, she is going to be so excited.”

“Y/N/N!” Harper exclaims when she walked into her room to find you sitting there.

“Harper” you exclaim back matching her energy, she jumps into your arms, and you throw her into the air and catch her, before jumping onto the bed, “what do you want to do?”

“Ice cream?” you look over to Mini.

“Why not, let’s go”. You Mini and Harper go out to ice-cream together, as you walk past the others in the common room you just ignore them, they all seem to be sitting in an awkward silence.

“Harper, you are all sticky, where are the wipes?” you exclaim as harper smushes her sticky face into you for a hug after she had finished her ice-cream.

“Here,” Mini slides the wipes over to you.

“No don’t, hey come back here,” Mini pulls her phone out to film the two of you, harper is running around the park to get away from you and you’re chasing her with a wipe in either hand.

“Ha, got you,” you say as you grab her, proceeding to wipe her sticky face and hands.

“Park?” “You want to go play in the park?” Harper nods her head, so you take her hand and walk over to the park together, you spent most of the afternoon in the park. You pushed harper on the swings. Unsuccessfully taught her how to pump herself on the swings. You went down the slide, a few too many times. Your afternoon was finished off by teacher harper how to do the monkey bars, which she was very good at – with help of course. Mini sat at the table while you two played, she looked up every now and then to check things were okay, but she seemed to make many phone calls, usually you would ask who it was, but you were having too much fun with harper to care.

_____

“I just won’t have dinner tonight, I’ll be fine,” “No, you will be going to dinner, Tony said he wanted everyone there, especially after what happened today, and no one is allowed to leave until he has spoken to us” you huff “Come on lets go now, you can sit with us, just sit at one of the back tables, you can then sit somewhere so you don’t have to see them,” Mini said as she dragged you up.

“Here take her, go sit, I’ll get food,” Mini says handing Harper to you as you walk into the dining room,  there are only 4 people in there currently not including you three, yet somehow one of the people you really don’t want to see is standing at the food bar. You go and find a seat, Mini comes back, with food. You have finished yours, but Harper hasn’t even touched her diner, she insists you feed her, so that you do, until Mini saw something.

“Um,” “What?” “I’ll message you,” she pulls out her phone, you phone vibrates on the table, and you quickly pick it up to read her message.

Gorry: Steph just walked in, gave Sam a dirty look as she walked past and Sat down at a different table.

Your jaw drops and Mini nods her head, you make questioning eyebrows at her and she just shrugs. You two captains always sat next to each other during mealtimes, or at least at the same table, you were often seen with them too but every now and then you sat with others, trying to expand your social circle. So, the fact that they aren’t sitting together is very odd.

After everyone had basically finished their dinner Tony got up, and started to talk, “Girls, I would just like to say the behaviour today was unacceptable, and I am extremely ashamed at the actions of our captains and older teammates, if anything it was our youngest teammate who showed the most maturity by walking away. Please know that if this sort of behaviour ever happens again on camp there will be punishment, and I’m not just talking laps. Steph and Sam can I talk to you outside please, the rest of you are free to enjoy your night.”

“I can’t believe I am having to do this girl, and I still can’t believe I saw what I saw this afternoon.” Tony starts yelling at your captains not realising the door hasn’t shut completely.

“Wait what happened? Why am I not getting in trouble, he wasn’t there was he?” you ask Mini.

“I don’t know, and no he wasn’t”.

“Oh boy did you two miss something, it was kind of good you left when you did,” Macca started.

“Yeah so basically once you had gotten harper and left, Steph finally broke the really awkward silence and asked Sam why she reacted the way she did when you said Arsenal raised and then Barca and Chelsea did again, and Sam was like ‘She is only sixteen and getting paid more than me, and I’m assuming you too’, which to be honest was a low blow, like she just attacked Steph there but anyway, Steph then said ‘Well, yeah she is fucking good’, and Sam replied ‘oh course you would say that,’ Steph asked her what she meant and she was like ‘oh well she’s your little mini me, always with you, always coming to you for help, and you always drop everything to help her, you act as if she is the sun and we all revolve around her’ which obviously Steph was taken aback by and was like ‘Oh, so now I’m the bad guy for not only fulfilling my captain duties but being a nice person, you know Sam we are meant to be approachable and help our teammates especially the younger ones, and of course she comes to me for help, she’s a kid, like we joke Kyra and Charli and all that are kids but she is actually a kid, you have to take more care with her, help her more, help her understand. Just because your ego is hurt at the fact that a 16-year-old is going to get paid more than you and you don’t know how to feel because a 16-year-old is better than you doesn’t mean you can take it out on me, and you are blind if you actually were surprised that Barca and Chelsea raised their offers again, she is incredible, will be the player of her generation,’ and then Sam just scoffed and was like ‘whatever you suck up’ and then Tony walked in and got super mad and send us all to different rooms and stuff” Hayley gives you both a brief recount of the day.

“Yeah, you really did miss a lot,”

“Yeah, it seems we did,”

“But wait Steph was protecting me, I thought she was having a go at me? I think I was just so mad at Sam; I kept it going”.

“Yeah no, originally I don’t know if she was having a go or just questioning but after you left, she really did confront Sam and I mean Sam was in the wrong, Steph could’ve just dealt with it in a better way.”

_____

“I think someone is tired, should we head up?” you say, after Harper yawns, looking at Mini for confirmation who nods, you pick harper up and rest her on your hip, she puts her head on your shoulders and her eyes start to droop. Once you arrive to your room you get dressed into your Pjs and so does Harper, you both already have had your showers for the day.

A phone vibrates and look over to mini, “that was you”, so you pick up your phone to see a message from Steph.

Steph: Hey can we talk? I understand if you don’t want too.

You: Hey um yeah but it’s easier if we message, Harper has fallen asleep on top of me.

Steph: Yeah, no that’s fine, I don’t know if I’m allowed to come out of our room anyway and if you even allowed to come in.

You: Oh

Steph: But I just wanted to say sorry for what happened this afternoon, I was out of line, and I just want to apologise, I am really sorry.

You: For what happened when I was there or what you said to Sam?

You: But in all honesty, it’s okay, I was getting defensive at Sam and snapped at you when you didn’t deserve it you were just questioning. But also thank you for stepping up and confronting Sam for me even if it got you in trouble.

Steph: Wait who told you about that?

Steph: But I was just telling her the truth and really, I should’ve stopped her earlier, it shouldn’t have gotten to the point that you had to walk away.

You: It’s okay Steph, I promise I forgive you but maybe not Sam, at least not yet. She was mean to both of us.

Steph: Okay, I will make it up to you I promise.

You: Hmmm, I will think about what I want…..

Steph: I never said I would by you anything, maybe I was just going to be nice, get you out of fitness testing

You: Hey no, that isn’t nice, I looove fitness testing

Steph: Weirdo

You: Hey

You: Love you heaps, good night (well not for you but for me), see you tomorrow, I can’t wait to see you! I have so much to tell you.

You: Shit that was meant for Leah not you

You: But love you anyway, see you in the morning.

Steph: Love you, sorry again, night night

_____

You were standing at the breakfast bar contemplating your morning meal like you were contemplating life when you saw Steph walk in, you immediate walked over to her and hugged her, in which she returned wrapping her arms around you tightly as if to never let go, you could really sense her guilt, you stayed like that for at least a minute and only pulled away because Sam wanted to talk to you.

“Hey, I’m sorry for yesterday, I shouldn’t have said what I said, and I’m really sorry” she said very awkwardly.

“Okay, thank you.” You say bluntly before walking away.

“What so she is hugging you, but I don’t even get an I forgive you?”

“Well, she doesn’t like lying and I don’t think she does forgive you yet,” Steph said before walking away and following you.

[hellodropbear]

like she used to (VII)

alexia putellas x sister

part I, II, III, IV, V, VI

this is the final part! it is 12:30am, I got home at 11 and read over it as I ate dinner so hopefully there aren't too many mistakes!

I hope you like the final part and sorry it has taken me so long!

~~~~~~

April 12, 2013.

"Alexia!" 

My sister was standing outside by the school gates, training uniform on, her skin bronzed from the Barcelona sun. I hadn't been expecting her to pick me up from school that day, but it was always a nice surprise when she did because it meant going to her training instead of Mami's work. 

"Hola, pequena!" She lifted me easily into her arms, spinning me in almost a full circle and carrying me out towards her car, avoiding the sympathetic glances she received from the parents around. 

I think she was sick of them, our father died almost a year ago and she had been picking me up at least once a week since. Surely they should be aware of it by now?

I was placed in my booster seat in the back of the car, Alexia stepping into the front seat and smiling at me through the rear view mirror. 

"Everyone is so excited to see you, pequena! I told them all this morning and they've been waiting all day."

I nodded from the back seat before diving into chatter about my day, what I had done at school. Alexia smiled and nodded from the front seat, only adding to the conversation when I left small gaps between my endless streams of chatter. 

The chatter continued as we arrived and I skipped ahead of her before she grabbed my hand with a stern glance, warning me to be safe on the roads. 

But Alexia was forgotten as I ran into the changing rooms, straight into Leila's open arms. 

"Hola, mi amor." She planted a soft kiss on the top of my head, trying to control my energetic and wriggly body. 

"Hola, Leila!"  

My long spiel started again, this time spoken directly to Leila as the others sat and watched in amusement, Alexia rolling her eyes at my loud and persisting voice. 

But my voice was silenced as soon as they went back out onto the training pitch, sat on the rug that Alexia had laid out with some colouring books and toys. Books and toys that lay abandoned as I stared at the footballers in front of me. 

They were incredible, I always thought. They moved so quickly up and down the pitch, shooting and passing the ball with pinpoint precision that I could only imagine to possess as a 6 year old who had only started to learn to play a few months ago. 

I idolised my sisters teammates almost as much as I idolised Alexia and I constantly tried to pick up on things they did, trying to be like them, trying to improve my own abilities. 

Alba came down and sat next to me, but was unable to pull me out of my trance, instead pulling out her schoolbook and doing some homework as we waited for Alexia to finish up.

But Alexia finishing up meant I was about to start, so I ignored Alba's groan as I jumped up from the floor as the whistle blew, running over to grab a stray ball and attempting to dribble it around the patch of grass near Alba. 

It wasn't long before Marta jogged over, guiding me to the small training pitch and trying to intercept the ball and getting me to try dispossess her as she dribbled along. 

It was all fun and games until we started shooting, and I found myself incapable of getting a single goal in the back of the net. I was progressively getting more and more upset, with Marta's words of encouragement doing little to cheer me up as I remained unsuccessful in scoring a single goal. 

I was forced to give up when Alexia rushed onto the field, apparently recognising my distress and picking me up, holding me close. 

I immediately calmed down. Alexia's arms were magical in that way, they never failed to calm me down, to cheer me up. To make me warm, to make me comfortable. 

My cries into Alexia's chest were light and she ran her hand up and down my back softly, smiling at Marta as the older Spaniard planted a kiss on my head and said goodbye. 

"Pequena, why are you so upset?"

"Because, Ale, I can't even score a goal! You and your team can score a goal from ages and ages away but I can't even score one from right in front of it!"

Alexia laughs softly and I frown. 

"You are six, Elena, you are so little and you have only been playing for a couple months. We are professionals, we have to be able to do these things because that is our job, just like your job is to learn how to read and write at school, something you are very good at! You will get better as you continue to practice, we have already seen you get so much better. You got the ball off Marta today, you should be proud of yourself like I am proud of you."

"I just want to be like you, Ale. Why can't I be like you?"

I lean my head into Alexia as she adjusts her hold of me and wanders over to where my belongings were left abandoned. 

"You are just like me. When I was your age I was exactly like you are now, only less determined and less talented. You will be better than me one day, pequena, if you keep working so hard. You just need to remember that I will always be proud of you. Every day of my life I wake up and think of how proud I am, how lucky I am that you are my baby sister. I love you pequena."

"Even if I am bad at football?"

"Even if you are bad at football. Which you aren't, by the way. You are incredible."

~~~~~~

November 18, 2017.

It was game day. 

The Catalonia cup final day, and my whole family was sat in the audience to watch as I played in the final for the under 11s. I only turned 9 last week, but was invited to play with this team a few months ago. 

The game was a big deal for me, playing with people so much older, so much taller. I felt the pressure as well, a defender against a team where the top of my head barely reached the base of the necks of the attackers from the other team. 

It was nerve wracking, and I felt everything churning inside me as I walked onto the field and into my position, waiting for the ref to blow his whistle and for the game to commence. 

I didn't want to look up into the stands, hyperaware of everyone watching me, everyone waiting for me to be just like Alexia. To stand out, to be fast, to be precise, to be incredible. 

But Alexia is a midfielder and I am a centre back. I am not like Alexia, but the only one who seems to understand that is Alexia. 

To everyone else, I am a younger version of her, waiting to follow in her footsteps. La Masia, Barcelona B. Barcelona first team. 

It makes me wonder what they will think if I don't have the perfect career like Alexia. 

But I am only 9, still to young to even trial for La Masia, so the under 11s from the local team will have to do. 

The game starts out well, my team scores twice in thirty minutes and we finish the first half up two goals to none. We are happy as we sit on the sidelines with our coach for the 15 minute break, eating slices of orange and joking around. 

I sometimes wonder how different it is at half time for Alexia when she plays in her big games. I don't think they eat oranges. Or joke around. 

The second half does not go nearly as well. It starts off with a goal to us, but the other team quickly gain possession and score easily. It's upsetting, but we are still two goals up. 

When their next goal goes in, we begin to get nervous, skittish. We are still a goal up, but it is not a big enough gap for our liking, especially since they just got two very quickly. 

The scoreline remains at 3-2 until the 81st minute, when an attacker from the other team tears all the way down the pitch and into the box. I am in the right position, it is entirely up to me to stop this goal from going in. 

But I don't. I try to dispossess her, but I'm unsuccessful. She sends the ball right through my legs and into the net for the equalising goal and I bit back my tears as she celebrates with her friends. 

My teammates pat me on the back, telling me it doesn't matter, that we can get another goal in the dying minutes of the game, but I am not focussed on them. 

I am focused on my family sitting in the stands because all I can see is disappointment. 

Except Alexia, who smiles and puts her thumbs up with an encouraging smile. 

But I am a disappointment, because I allowed the other team to equalise. 

Alexia wouldn't have done that. 

My teammates were right, they score again in the second minute of added time, and we celebrate winning the cup with medals and a trophy. But it all feels tainted, because I almost ruined this for the team. 

I disappointed my family because I am a Putellas, we are supposed to be good at football. 

It is only when we return to the dressing room that the first tears slip out, but I wipe them away quickly, frustrated that I couldn't stop them from starting in the first place. 

Surprisingly, Alexia is the only family member who is outside the dressing room with the other families, and I run directly into her arms, grateful that they are already outstretched. 

Her arms are like home. Like they have done for all my life, they cheer me up, take away some of my sadness. 

"You played so well, pequena! I am so, so proud of you, my little champion!" 

She grabs the piece of metal that hangs from my neck and kisses it. 

"Another gold to add to our collection."

Our collection. 

Like we collect them together. 

I just won an under 11s Catalonia cup, after almost ruining my teams chances. She has a number of Primera division medals, copa de la reina, copa catalunya, golf medals from world championships at the youth age level. A never ending list of MVP awards, honours from spain, from Catalonia and from Mollet del Valles.

And I almost lost my team the Catalonia Cup. 

We are not the same, Alexia and I. I just wish my family would see that, understand that I won't be like Alexia because how could I ever be that good. 

Alexia seems to pick up on my negative mood, lifting me up like I am still 5 years old and holding me close. 

"I know what you are thinking, Elena."

I look at her curiously, a silent question that asks her to continue. 

"You are thinking that their equaliser was entirely your fault, that you almost cost the team your victory, no?"

I nod slowly, and she wipes away the tear that slips from my eye. 

"You never would have done something like that, Ale."

She shakes her head, chuckling slightly. 

"You don't even want to know how many mistakes I've made, how many times I've thought it was all my fault that we lost or almost lost a game. This is your first, but it won't be your last and that is ok. Football is a team sport, Elena, it is never an individuals fault. You wouldn't be mad at a keeper for making a mistake and conceding an important goal and you can't blame the striker for not shooting enough if you lose an important game. Just like you can't blame a defender for conceding. The striker had to get through the midfield first, and they all made mistakes there, and other defenders could have helped you out but they didn't, the keeper wasn't positioned well either but everyone tried their best and accidentally conceded a goal. It's a team, pequena, you win together, lose together, score together and conceded together. And look at how many clearances you made! All those tackles where you recovered the ball, prevented their attack. I am so proud of you today because you were one of the best players on the pitch."

I nod slowly, slumping into her arms. 

"I just wish I could be like you, Ale. Because you are so good and everyone knows it. I am so scared that I will disappoint everyone by not living up to what you've done, but how can I? You are so good."

She sighs, shaking her head. 

"You are my sister, but that doesn't mean we are the same on the pitch. I am a terrible defender, you are a great one. I can score goals easier than you, but it doesn't mean you're not as good, or can't grow to be a professional like I am. And nobody will ever be disappointed in you either! Whether you play for Barcelona for the rest of your life or if you go and play for a terrible team like Arsenal, or even if you quit football altogether and decide to go down another road because that is always an option too! You are smart like I am not, you are artistic like I am not and you can play that piano better than anyone else I've heard. What I'm saying is that just because we both love football, we are not the same. Everyone knows that and nobody will ever be disappointed in you if you don't follow the same career that I have."

"They all looked so disappointed when I conceded though." 

She shook her head again. 

"They shouldn't have, because they were not. But even if everyone else fails you, pequena, which they won't, but if they do, you will always have me cheering you on. I will always be there, your annoying, old, proud sister, every single day I am alive I will be proud of you no matter what you do, because I love you so much, you are everything to me."

She wipes away the tears that slipped from my eyes, planting a kiss on my head. 

"Now everyone is waiting for us, a big celebration dinner because you won today. Everyone is so proud of you, Elena. You are growing into such a talented and strong little girl, the best centre back our family has ever seen."

I smile. 

Maybe I don't need to be just like Alexia to succeed. 

Maybe Elena is alright too. 

~~~~~~

July 4, 2019.

I was invited to trial for La Masia, but I don't know if I want to go. 

I know I am good at football, but I don't even know if I want to play anymore.

Because last week I played the best game I have in a long time, but this morning I singlehandedly lost my team any chances we have of winning the under 15s title. 

It had been rough from the beginning and it was even worse considering we were on the top of the league and we were playing a team from close to the bottom. We couldn't get past their defence, but their attack was easily finding their way through our midfield and defensive line. 

We conceded three and scored none. 

All three of the conceded goals were my fault. 

Every. Single. One. 

Alba told me after the game that it was alright, it didn't matter. 

Mami hugged me and said it would be better next time. 

But it isn't alright, it does matter and who knows if it will be better next time?

Alexia was in France, relaxing after her disappointing end to the world cup, but Mami or Alba must have filled her in on the disaster that was my game before she got home, because as soon as she arrived, she was upstairs and into my room, pulling me into a hug. 

"I don't want you to tell me that it doesn't matter, Alexia, because it does. Please don't tell me that football is a team sport and it isn't just my fault, because it is. It's all my fault and now I've destroyed their chances of winning the league. So please, don't tell me otherwise."

She shook her head, her arms tightening around my body.

"Mami said you don't want to trial for La Masia anymore?" 

I shake my head. I don't think I can even face the trials after the embarrassment that was the other night. 

"That's ok. You don't have to if you don't want to."

I look up at her in confusion. 

"Really?"

"Absolutely not."

She looks right back at me, brushing the hairs out of my face. 

"You're only 11, Elena. You put a lot of pressure on yourself to be great which is not necessary. You are already brilliant. If you don't want to trial, you don't have to. You love school, you love your current team and if you don't want that all to change it doesn't have to. There is always next time if you decide you want to make that jump."

I don't know how she always knows what I am thinking, because I never told her how much I would miss my school and football team if I ended up at La Masia. 

"And what if I don't? What if I don't want to play football any more. Throw away everything I have ever worked for. Wouldn't you be disappointed?"

I don't want her to tell me she wouldn't be, because I don't think that's the truth. 

"Elena, I will never be disappointed in you. Yes, I would be upset, but that is only because it is something so special that we share, something that connects us in a way that I can't be connected to anyone else in this family. But I love you and I would get over it eventually. But today, let's think about now."

I nod, which she uses as an indicator to continue. 

"You're 11 years old, starting as a centre back in the under 15s. You are good, very good and play games so well that nobody would even notice you were so young if it wasn't for your height. You had a bad game the other day, but every other week you have saved that team so many times, so if it wasn't for you, they would have lost that trophy weeks ago. You are smart, have heaps of friends at school and love to play the piano, to read, to hang out with those friends. You love to do things outside of football, it's all equally important. You were scouted to trial for La Masia, but you are 11 and these trials happen every six months so there will be many more chances for you to trial if you decide not to this time but change your mind later. You have a huge family of support right behind you, and you have me, who will always be so proud of you. It's all laid out in front of you, Elena, you just have to make a decision."

A tear slips out of my eye but she is quick to brush it away. 

"I don't want to trial, not yet."

Her arms pull me tighter. 

"I think that's a good decision. I am proud of you, pequena. You need more time to decide what you want to do. Not want Mami wants you to do, not what I want you to do. Not what anybody else wants you to do. I am proud that you have given yourself that time. You are mature, Elena, and so, so smart."

"I love you, Alexia."

"I love you too. Always."

Her arms are so warm around me that I feel myself drifting to sleep in them, waking up when the sun rises the next morning, still with her right arm hanging loosely around my waist. 

I am lucky to have her, I decide. So lucky, because she is like a guiding light who makes everything so much clearer. I don't know what I would do without her. 

~~~~~~

I made my debut for Barcelona yesterday. I came in for Irene in the 88th minute, Jonatan said he wanted me to get some minutes under my legs before I could play for longer. 

The feeling of running onto the pitch in the Barcelona kit, my name and number on my back, alongside the players I have grown up idolising was something I will never forget. 

Something so special, a turning point in my life that could map out my entire career. 

But it was all tainted by what I have lost. What I should have had supporting me. Who I should have had supporting me. 

"I will always be proud of you, Elena."

I think she has forgotten all those times she told me that, but I certainly have not. 

It feels like a long time since I have felt emotions like this. It feels like an even longer time that I have really felt happy. Euphoric, even.

It is harder for a centre back to be subbed in, because they make the foundations of the formation. But we were up by 6 to nothing so it was a safe bet. Any mistakes I made would not lose us points. 

I didn't make mistakes though. I made clearances, I stopped the ball from going past Cata and into the goal. Jonatan was happy, Aitana hugged me as soon as the final whistle blew. 

Mami was there, of course, cheering from the crowd. 

It feels like months since I have seen her. It has been a while since we have spoken properly, although she does not bring that up as she pulls me into a hug, telling me how proud she is of me. 

Alba stands from beside her, staring at me intensely, as if worried I will run away again. 

She knows that if she brings up the last time that happened, I probably will. 

The last month has been rough. I have stayed with Mapi, only leaving the safety of my room in her apartment for training. I did my school, I trained hard and I ate every meal. My days slipped by, I felt nothing. Not happy, not sad. Not anything. 

I think I was confused. Exhausted too. I had exploded, finally, and so I had to suffer from the repercussions. 

Mapi tried her very best to help clean up after that tidal wave finally hit, but her efforts weren't enough to rebuild what had been destroyed. So I ignored her when she came into my room each night, telling me that Alexia was outside, that Alexia wanted to see me. 

I didn't want to see her because I don't think I would have been able to hold it together if she had come crying to me. 

But she is here today and I don't think Mapi will let me avoid her when she inevitably approaches me in the change rooms. 

I walk there slowly, saying goodbye to Mami and Alba quietly and trailing behind Patri and Pina who don't even notice my presence. It is because I have been so quiet, I think, they don't really know what to do with me. They don't know what to say to make me feel better. 

There's not much that will. 

The room erupts into loud cheers as I enter, most of the older players proud of me for finally making my debut. 

It would have been a dream debut, really, if things were different. 

But everything is ruined, everything is overshadowed by so many things. 

Alexia has done all this before me, made her debut, broken into the first squad. I am simply just doing what is expected of me, as a Putellas. 

She got selected because of her talent. I was selected because Mapi got injured. 

But she is right there as I get passed through the room, standing up against the doorway, a soft smile on her face. 

Mapi is the one who pushes me towards her and I can't decide whether she doesn't notice my attempts of making frantic eye contact with her, or if she just decides to ignore it. She whispers that everything will be fine, that I just need to talk to her and things will start to get better. 

I try telling her that she's wrong, that it's not that easy. 

But those arms are around me as soon as I am in reaching distance and it takes everything inside of me to not crack right there. But I can feel the parts of me that were slowly rebuilt over the past month start to fall apart again, but differently.

All those things that crashed out of me by my piano a few months ago come racing right back inside. It is like she gathered them all up in her arms and carried them around for me until she saw me next, until she would be able to give them back. 

She sort of picks me up as I start to cry, moving out and into one of the physio rooms, giving us more privacy. Away from the prying eyes of our teammates who have been so intrigued by the drama between us. 

So intrigued by the drama that has been ripping me up from the inside. 

And it looks like it has also been ripping up Alexia, if you look at the suitcases under her eyes and the severe discolouration in her face. 

"Elena." Her voice is clearly tearful, but I can barely hear it over the gut wrenching cries thatI am releasing. 

In reality, they aren't really that loud but they overcome me in a way that blocks out everything else around me. 

Because I have been void of everything for over a month, no emotions. Not happy, sad, confused, excited, disappointed. Not anything. 

But to feel those arms. Her arms that keep me safe, that shelter me from life's issues. It is a feeling like no other. 

Something I can finally feel. 

And I never want to not feel again, because even though I am not happy, at least I am finally feeling something. At least I am not so empty like I have been, a bottomless pit in my stomach that simply could not be filled. 

And with Alexia's arms around me, it feels like I can get through anything. 

I am a Putellas. I am strong. 

"Elena... I have been a terrible big sister." Her voice breaks and her head lands in my hair. 

"And I have been thinking and thinking, wracking my brain to try and figure out what started this all, and I finally remembered the other day. Elena, I do not deserve you."

I move out from beneath her, looking at her intently. 

Wet eyes meet wet eyes and I immediately pull her into a hug. 

"I have missed you so much, Ale. I have missed you so much."

"I am so, so, so sorry, Elena. Nothing I say will be enough."

We speak at the same time, tears consuming us as we both try to fix our relationship. 

Fix the relationship that has been shattered, broken, kicked, destroyed. 

Fix the relationship that I would do anything to repair. 

"Please, listen to me." 

I look up at her as she grabs my face, cupping my cheeks in her hands and wiping away the tears that have fallen. 

"I said things to you. Things that I didn't mean, things that were wrong. And then I questioned why you weren't comfortable around me as much any more. And I stopped being your sister, pequena. I stopped watching your games, picking you up from training, taking you to ice cream, helping you with your homework. I just stopped a few years ago and never even tried to explain, never tried to regain your trust."

I frown. 

"At my party, the La Masia one. When I cried. You got upset at me and I was childish about the whole thing, I used it against you for so long."

"And you have every right to, Elena, because I was so terrible and I wish I had a reason, something to excuse my words, but I do not. I was stressed, I was anxious. I projected it all onto my perfect baby sister because I didn't know what else to do. And I was a bad sister before that, too. I never should have told you that I was too busy for you because you are so much more important than anything else in my life, but I acted like I didn't care about you at all. I am a terrible sister."

"I didn't help." My voice is mousy, squeaky. Because I have been crying and I am doing everything I can to avoid another round of tears. "I didn't make it easier for you, I wasn't strong like you, like I should have been."

Alexia inhales sharply, immediately shaking her head, pulling mine back into her chest in a tight hug. 

"I never want to hear those words come out of your mouth again, Elena, because you are the strongest person I know and I am so, so proud of everything you have done. You have been brave, determined, passionate, so many things. I have been the weak one. I have been so scared of losing you, but I was the one who ruined everything and I lost you, I let you slip through my fingers and I will never forgive myself for that. You are incredible, Elena, and you won't let anyone tell you otherwise. Not me, not anyone."

"I have missed you so much."

Alexia is surprised when I lean further into her arms, but I am grateful when she tightens them around me. 

She is my older sister, and I have missed her so much. 

She is my older sister, and I lost her for a while. I lost her and my life became miserable. My days were more dreary and I began to hate everything else in my life. 

But now she is here, she has acknowledged the issues and I finally feel some relief. 

I finally feel like I am getting her back. 

Her arms are filling me up with all those emotions, warm ones, cold ones. Things I never want to feel again but things I want to feel every day for the rest of my life. 

Alexia is my sister.

And I realised, last night, that I don't have to be exactly like her, because I am not her. I am Elena, and I debuted for Barcelona at 15. 

The youngest to ever do it. 

It's pretty cool. 

But it's even better to have my sister there, cheering for me like she always said she would. She is proud, she loves me and I do think she has missed me like I have missed her. 

And I can finally feel myself mending. 

We spoke more after the celebrations, she took me to dinner, slowly patching up my insides that I once thought were beyond prepare. 

She told me over and over that she was sorry, she feels terrible and she will never let me slip away from her again. She says that I am incredible and that she wishes she had my talent, that I will grow to become the best that the club has ever seen and that I have already paved my way into the history of this football club. 

But she also tells me that I am a good person, with good values and a good heart. That Papi would be proud of the person I have become. Not just the footballer, the person. 

For the second time that day, I feel happy, full of love, completely content. 

Because Alexia loves me, and sometimes, the love of a sister is all you need. 

~~~~~~

and that's it!

Let me know if you want to see anything else from this little universe and i'll see what i can do

thank you for reading this all, i have seen all the comments and asks and they mean the world :)

hope you enjoyed

[mynameismckenziemae]

In Case You Didn’t Know Part 1

(next part here)

Jake ‘Hangman’ Seresin x OFC

Summary: Jake and Charlotte ‘Charlie’ Mason (you) have been best friends since diapers. You’ve been there for each other every step of the way; middle school bullies, broken hearts, baseball games, grad school and the Navy. Jake’s shaken to the core when a mission goes south and he takes his medical leave at home, knowing you’re the only thing that’ll make him feel okay again.

Warnings: 18+ MDNI-this chapter doesn’t contain smut but future ones will, discussions of death and cancer, swearing, etc.

•*•.•*•.•*•.•*•.•*•.•*•.•*•.•*•.•*•.•*•.•*•.•*•.•*•

Jake always thought the whole ‘life flashes before your eyes when you’re about to die’ saying was bullshit.

But as his jet plummets toward the ground and smoke fills the cockpit, he realizes it’s true; with one exception.

Every memory features you.

The engine failure alarms serve as the background music to each one that flies by. On the first day of kindergarten when you took his hand to lead him inside because he was too scared to go in alone. Being each other’s first kiss the night before Becca Wilson’s birthday party since seven minutes in heaven was rumored to happen. The relieved smile when you found out you were allowed to play on the boy’s high school baseball team since there weren’t enough girls for softball. How you blushed at his whistle when you walked down the stairs in your prom dress. The way you melted when he handed you the black lab puppy you wanted so badly after grad school but couldn’t afford. Finally, the heart-wrenching sobs as he held you when cancer stole your mom 6 months ago. He never wanted to hear it again.

Will you cry like that if he dies?

“No,” he mutters, picturing your tears, your devastation.

Is it better or worse that you don’t know he’s in love with you?

“Hangman, I need you to eject,” your voice whispers.

His brow furrows. You’ve never called him by his callsign.

“Charlie?” He mumbles, unconsciousness fighting to pull him under.

“HANGMAN! EJECT!” Rooster screams, pleading over the radio.

He snaps out of it and adrenaline pumps through his veins when he sees the ground rapidly approaching.

Everything goes black when he pulls the ejection handle.

•*•.•*•.•*•.•*•.•*•.•*•.•*•.•*•.•*•.•*•.•*•.•*•.•*•

“…recovery is at least 12 weeks. We’ll get you transferred to NHCP-“

“No. I’m going home,” Jake interrupts the doctor. He hates everything medical; between the needles, blood, fluorescent lighting, antiseptic smells, he feels like he could crawl out of his skin.

“Lt. Seresin, you’re going to need a lot of assistance. Help showering, stairs are out of the question, you can’t drive, daily physical therapy-“

“I know. I’ll have help at home and I know a great physical therapist,” Jake says in a tone that leaves no room for discussion.

The doctor hesitates before resigning with a sigh. “Alright. I’ll get the write the orders and finish your discharge paperwork so we can get you out of here.”

•*•.•*•.•*•.•*•.•*•.•*•.•*•.•*•.•*•.•*•.•*•.•*•.•*•

A loud crash from your front porch has you sitting straight up in bed with a racing heart.

The hair on your dog’s (named Cash, after the Man in Black himself) back stands straight up as he growls low in his throat.

You slip out of bed and pick up the baseball bat you keep by your bed before creeping down the hall behind your dog.

“Charlie? It’s me,” Jake groans through the door. Cash relaxes when he hears Jake’s familiar voice and his tail starts to wag excitedly.

You drop the bat and throw it open. “What are you doing here at 5 in the morning?!” You laugh, but it dies when you see him on the ground. “Oh my God, Jake! What happened?! Are you okay?!” You gasp, crouching to help him onto his back. Cash stays back, sensing something isn’t right.

“I lost my balance on the step trying to juggle my suitcase and these fucking crutches,” he grits out, trying to right himself.

“Leave the crutches. I’ll hand them to you once I get you up. On three, okay? 1,2,3,” you say, hoisting him to his feet. Well, foot.

But before you can hand him the crutches, he wraps you in a tight hug with a choked sob.

“Oh Jake,” you whisper, tears prickling in your own eyes. You’ve only seen him cry a handful of times, and never like this.

You rub soothing circles on his back, only releasing him when he finally relaxes. “Let’s get you inside and off that leg.”

•*•.•*•.•*•.•*•.•*•.•*•.•*•.•*•.•*•.•*•.•*•.•*•.•*•

“You look like awful,” you observe as you get him settled on your couch.

“Thanks,” he grimaces when you elevate his foot.

“What am I working with here?” You nod to his cast.

“Fractured the 2 bones in my lower leg. Nothing else is broken, I’m sore everywhere and my shoulders are pretty bruised too, but I was lucky.”

“You had to eject,” you conclude when he pulls his collar to show you the dark purpling.

“Yeah, in a heavily wooded area, hence the scratches on my face. I suppose it was a good thing though, slowed me down a little before I hit the ground.”

You bite your lip to stop the many questions on the tip of your tongue. He looks so exhausted, in pain, and not ready to talk about it yet.

“I’ll make us something to eat and I’m going back to sleep for a bit. You look like you could some too.”

He nods in agreement. “I haven’t slept in days…I just wanted to get home.”

“Well, now you are and can rest. I’ll be back in a few.”

•*•.•*•.•*•.•*•.•*•.•*•.•*•.•*•.•*•.•*•.•*•.•*•.•*•

“Here, take these,” you hand him some over-the-counter pain meds and a glass of orange juice once he has some food in his stomach.

“Thanks, I’m sorry to drop in like this. I don’t-I didn’t think things through, I just needed to get out of that hospital-“

“It’s okay,” you interrupt, unable to watch him getting more and more anxious. “Really, Jake. You know I’m always here for you. I missed you.”

“I missed you too, Charlie. So much,” he says, voice cracking. But he clears his throat and changes the subject. “This couch is amazing, but do you really need 50 pillows?”

You swallow the lump in your throat and roll your eyes. “Yes, I really do,” you say, smacking him gently with one of the said pillows before handing him the remote. “Wanna find something to watch while I throw these in the dishwasher?”

“Sure, thanks again.”

“Welcome,” you reply, ruffling his hair like you always have. It used to drive him crazy but now he relishes those touches.

•*•.•*•.•*•.•*•.•*•.•*•.•*•.•*•.•*•.•*•.•*•.•*•.•*•

“Yessssss, Joe Dirt! I haven’t seen this in ages,” you say, throwing a blanket over him as you come back to the living room.

“We watched it last time I was home,” Jake says, giving you a look.

“Yeah, that was 5 months ago though,” you reply. Recalling why he was here.

Your mom had died early on a Tuesday morning. It was as peaceful as it could be when cancer ravishes someone so quickly. Cash was curled around your legs as you held one of her hands in yours, while Jake’s mom, Ruth held the other. Jake’s sister, Emma, played with the short hair that started to grow back when she stopped the chemo like she always did when she was little. Jake’s dad, Tom had a hand on her leg while he hummed ‘I’ll Fly Away’.

Jake’s family left once the funeral home took her body away after much convincing and reassuring that you were fine, and finally you could fall back into bed. That’s where you stayed for the next 18 hours until Jake found you, so empty and unlike yourself. He was on his way home when he found out Lisa had taken a turn for the worst, but she went downhill quicker than anyone expected. Your first tears fell as he climbed into bed and held you when the sobs wracked your body.

You’re not sure what strings he pulled but he stayed with you for 3 weeks. He helped you bathe and dry your hair the day of the funeral, making you smile when he said he couldn’t do make up. He held your hand at the service, and talked to everyone who approached to give their sympathies so you didn’t have to. He cleaned up her room, packed her clothes into totes, and arranged for the hospital bed to be taken away so you didn’t have to look at it.

“You could go years without watching it and be able to recite it by heart with how many times we’ve seen this movie,” Jake sighs dramatically.

“It’s my favorite. Can you blame me? Look at that mullet.”

“That’s what does it for ya? Maybe I’ll have to grow one,” Jake jokes, lifting his head as you sit down and resting back down on your thighs. Cash jumps up on the other side, resting his head between Jake’s and your stomach.

“Don’t tease me, you’ll turn me on with that visual,” you laugh. “Can you do the white-trash facial hair too? That combination? Phew! Panty dropping!”

He looks up from your lap and laughs for the first time since the accident.

•*•.•*•.•*•.•*•.•*•.•*•.•*•.•*•.•*•.•*•.•*•.•*•.•*•

The tension leaves his body as your fingers run through his hair, and he’s asleep within minutes.

Your chest tightens as you look him over; the dark circles under his eyes, a cut under his chin has stitches that will need to come out soon, the purple bruising by his shoulders when you shift his collar, and his leg swelling above the cast.

Yet he’s as beautiful as ever. He’s always been attractive-cute as a boy, hot as a teenager but downright mouth-watering as a man. You started to develop feelings in high school and hoped when you went your separate ways after that those feelings would fizzle out, but they didn’t. They were always simmering on the back burner with the absence, rising to the top with every reconciliation and boiling over when he took care of you 6 months ago.

You aren’t sure how Jake feels. He’s always been a flirt but sometimes you catch the heat in his eyes and the way he reaches for you before catching himself. As much as you long to find out, you aren’t willing to risk ruining your friendship.

•*•.•*•.•*•.•*•.•*•.•*•.•*•.•*•.•*•.•*•.•*•.•*•.•*•

Jake’s choking, panicked gasps wake you a few hours later.

“Jake, sweetheart, it’s okay. You’re okay,” you murmur, pressing a kiss to his clammy forehead before you think better of it.

His eyes fly open and his panicked gaze meets yours. Cash comes over and nudges Jake's hand with his nose, whining until Jake puts his hand on his head.

“Take some deep breaths with me. In…one, two, three. Hold…one, two, three. Out…one, two, three. Good Jake, again.”

You repeat it until his breathing regulates.

“Charlie, we need to talk. I need you…r help.”

•*•.•*•.•*•.•*•.•*•.•*•.•*•.•*•.•*•.•*•.•*•.•*•.•*•

A/N: I think this is the first thing I’ve written without smut. Don’t worry, it’s coming. Sorry this was a little short, but it felt like a good stopping point.

Fun fact: Joe Dirt is the movie my husband and I watched the first time we hung out (back in 2009 🥴)

Every interaction is appreciated but I really like hearing what you think ☺️ Especially since this is the first time I’ve written something not based around smut haha.

Tagging:

@mamachasesmayhem

@its-the-pilot

@dizzybee03

@sweetwhispersofchaos

@shanimallina87

@blindedbythelightt

@getmyprettynameoutofyourmouth

@lexixstewart

@phoenix-rising-starbird-one

@mrsrobertfloyd5

@charmedkim

@k-k0129

@bellaireland1981

@hookslove1592

@amiets2

@nero4te

@eli2447

@atarmychick007

@vixenobrian

@86laura11

@hisredheadedgoddess28

@dempy

@angelbabyyy99

@buckysteveloki-me

@djs8891

@mizzzpink

[athforskz]

Of Ex's and Oh's - Lee Felix

Masterlist

Requested by anon

Pairing: Felix x reader (afab)

Non-idol au 

wc: ~5.8k

Type: Angst, smut, strangers to lovers

Warnings: Previous heartbreak, cursing, mentions of alcohol/drinking, semi public? (The door is open but no one interrupts) cunninglingus, fingering, edging, unprotected piv, aftercare.

Let me know if I missed any!

semi-proofread

a/n: Your bestie’s name in this is Luna. Chan also makes an appearance.

Enjoy lovelies!

Beep beep

A deafening car horn could be heard outside of your home indicating that your friend, Luna, had just arrived to pick you up. You grabbed the oversized and overpacked suitcase before making your way out of the door and to your friend’s car. She squealed in excitement once you opened the backseat door to stuff your bag next to hers. When you finished struggling, you sat next to her on the passenger side with an exasperated sigh. “I can’t believe you actually managed to drag me out of the house for this.” You said while turning to Luna. 

“Oh c’mon, a trip will do you some good! I couldn’t let my best friend continue to rot in her bed for another 6 months.” She started the car back up and began the drive to the airport. 

“I was not rotting. Just healing…?” You questioned your own statement.

“Y/n, you broke up with your ex over half a year ago. All you did was go to work then go home and lay in bed. You even stopped hanging out with me. If that’s not rotting then I don’t know what is.” She had a point. Nothing you did after the breakup with your long time boyfriend, now ex-boyfriend was healing whatsoever. Still you wanted to take things at your own pace. You’d get back out there eventually, or so you had kept telling yourself for the past couple of months. You know all Luna wanted was to help you get back to your old self. The person you used to be before the toxic breakup, before you had even met your ex in the first place. 

“Okay, maybe I get it. But why Australia of all places? You couldn’t have picked like Paris or something?” You questioned.

Luna shook her head as she pulled into the airport parking lot. It was a short drive from your place. “Well, Australia is beautiful this time of year! Not too cold, but also not blistering hot like it is in the summertime. And Paris is just so… cliche. We needed something different for our first trip out in god knows how long.” She finished explaining.

“Sounds like you did your research at least,” you credited her. 

“Not to mention, Australians are sexy!” She wiggled her eyebrows at you. 

You face palmed shaking your head, “Luna, that is not what I need right now!” 

“What? I’m just saying that the best way to get over someone is to get under somebody else.” She shrugged like it was no big deal. You rolled your eyes as you got out of the car after she had parked. 

Hooking up with a stranger was the last thing on your list. You weren’t the promiscuous type and definitely didn’t plan to start during the trip. 

After grabbing the bags  out of the back you both started your trek through the airport. Passing through security went smoothly and you silently thanked the heavens you didn’t forget your passport. Another 30 minutes passed and soon you were seated on the airplane next to your friend.

“How long is this flight again?” You asked while fishing out headphones from your carryon.

“Hmm, only about 15 hours or so.” She answered.

You choked, “ONLY 15 hours?!” 

“Hey, it was the best deal for a straight through flight.” 

All you could do was let out a groan in response. You put on your headphones and listened to some calming music. Mind as well get comfortable during this long flight, maybe catch up on some sleep. 

Contrary to your intentions you barely got any sleep by the time the plane finally landed. The seats were just way too cramped and uncomfortable. Luna, on the other hand, slept like a baby the entire flight. 

“Ugh I can’t wait to get back to the hotel and relax.” You chimed to Luna while you both waited to retrieve your bags. 

“Oh yeah about that..” she trailed. You simply raised an eyebrow at her, waiting for her to continue. 

“That hotel we looked at was way out of our budget for the nights we picked so I booked us an Airbnb instead.” She finished. 

“Okay, that’s not so bad. I thought you were going to say you forgot to book a place or something.” You wouldn’t put it past Luna to have forgotten something as important as booking a place to stay. She was rather forgetful when she got excited about trips. 

Finally, the rightful suitcases had arrived allowing you and Luna to catch a cab to leave the airport. On the ride to the Airbnb you could tell that Sydney, Australia was beautiful. It may have been nighttime but the way the lights lit up the city was something out of a storybook. 

About 20 minutes later, you had arrived at the destination. Upon looking at the small house it was cute, nothing too fancy. You grabbed your belongings from the trunk of the cab and thanked the driver before racing up to meet Luna on the doorstep. She punched in the key code to open the door. Immediately upon entry the interior was warm and inviting. The house sported an open floor plan with a modern kitchen and living room towards the front of the house. You both made your way past the living room down a hallway that led to two bedrooms and one large bathroom. Luna didn’t hesitate to pick her room, throwing her bags down on the bed as her claim. The rooms were decent size and had a pretty similar vibe overall. Only difference was, Luna's room had an extra window. 

You dragged your bag into the room that was left to you and plopped down on the soft bed. 

“Hey, Y/n! Can you order some food?” Luna called out from her room. As if on queue your stomach growled. 

“Yeah! What do you want?” You pulled out your phone and opened up a delivery app, punching in the address to your temporary place. There were plenty of options to choose from as you scrolled. 

“I don’t know, you pick. I’m down for whatever. Just make sure it gets here quick.” She answered. You giggled, assuming your friend must have been as hungry as you. Who wouldn’t be after such a long flight? You decided on a simple dinner of Thai noodles for the both of you. 

“Food should be here in 20-25!” You yelled out. 

“Perfect. Now which one should I wear?” Luna had appeared at your door holding up two different outfits: a mini dress in one hand and a matching two piece set in the other. 

“Are you prepping for tomorrow or something?” You inquired while pointing to the mini dress.

“Nope. Tonight.” She smiled innocently at you while returning to her room. 

“Tonight?! You’re going out? It’s already late.” You followed her. 

“Correction: WE are going out. And it’s not late, it's only a little past 9pm.” She retorted. 

“Luna, we’ve been traveling all day and I’m tired, all I want to do is eat and get into bed.” You had your arms crossed over your chest.

“We’re only here for 4 days, Y/n. Come on, it’ll be fun! Pleaseeee?” She pleaded with you. 

You pinched the bridge of your nose, “Alright, alright fine. But I’m not taking care of you tonight if you get shit-faced drunk.” You gave in to her begging. Luna jumped over to you to entrap you in a tight hug. “We are going to have tons of fun, you’ll see!” She promised.

Maybe you’d feel a bit more up to it after you got some food in you. Retreating to your room, you rummaged through the clothes in your suitcase to see what outfit you could throw together. You settled on a bustier cami top with black lace detailing, flowy mini skirt, and strappy heels.

Luna and you were in the bathroom doing hair, makeup, and chitchatting when you heard a knock at the door. 

Must be the food, you thought. 

You went to retrieve the meal and set it on the kitchen counter. Luna came out shortly after to join you. You both ate rather quickly, enjoying the meal before finishing getting ready. By the time you had finally gotten dressed you were even sleepier than before. The full tummy hadn’t helped like you thought. 

Nonetheless, you had made an agreement with your friend to go out, plus you were already ready to go. Luna insisted on taking a few pictures to remember the occasion before setting out. 

True to her habits, Luna had forgotten to tell you that you’d be walking to your destination. While it wasn’t freezing cold, the night air was still chilly. You had silently cursed your shoe choice while walking. It wasn’t far thankfully, only about 5 minutes. Once you both made it, you stepped into the bar, immediately being welcomed into the nightlife. The music was loud and the smell of alcohol filled the air. 

All of a sudden you felt uncomfortable, you pulled at your skirt making sure it stayed at about mid-thigh and covered your chest with your arms. You hadn’t been out to a bar since before you started dating your ex. He hated when you went out, always making remarks that you dressed ‘too slutty.’ Your brain was filling with thoughts of him and all you wanted to do was find a way back to your room to curl in bed. 

Luna noticed your turmoil and grabbed your wrist to pull you to a less crowded area near the bar. She placed a hand on your cheek and looked into your eyes asking the silent question if you were okay. You simply nodded your head, not wanting to ruin your best friend’s night already. She turned to the bartender ordering a couple of drinks for the two of you. 

You looked around the place, trying to calm yourself down. It was packed for sure, people dancing and spilling their drinks all over the floor as they bumped into each other. Just then, there was a tap on your shoulder. You jumped, startled but quickly settled when it was just Luna handing you a shot. 

“It’s your favorite! It’ll help you loosen up!” She yelled over the loud music. 

You took the shot from her hand and clinked it against the one she held in her own before the both of you simultaneously drank. Your face scrunched in disgust. Tequila was not your favorite but it was effective. 

After splitting a full sized mixed drink with your friend you did seem to feel a bit more relaxed. You weren’t buzzed, let alone drunk by any means, but the drinks did help in taking away the impending anxiety. However, Luna was a bit of a lightweight and you could already tell she was feeling her alcohol by the way she danced. 

“Stay here, I’ll be right back!” You told Luna, leaving her on the dance floor to return to the bar to get another drink. After this one you’d cut her off. Upon reaching the bar you accidentally bumped into someone. 

“Sorry, sorry! I didn’t see you there.” The man steadied you with a hand on the small of your back. He simply smiled at you with a shake of his head. 

“Don’t worry about it!” He told you. His voice was deep and when you looked up to meet his gaze your eyes widened. He was easily one of the most handsome men you had ever seen. The way his blonde hair framed his freckled face had you mesmerized. His smile was so warm. You pulled your eyes away from him before he thought you had been staring too long. You nodded as if silently apologizing again and turned to order your drink. 

You quickly retreated back to find Luna after getting your order. You found her on the dance floor, talking to a guy. She was always outgoing, but got even more friendly when she drank. You stood next to her observing the man, he actually seemed nice, he wasn’t giving off any creepy vibes and was genuinely interested in their conversation. It didn’t take long for Luna to notice you by her side, “oh this is my bestest friend EVER! Isn’t she hot?!” Your face flushed, did she really just? 

The man laughed at your horrified expression at your friend’s question. You face palmed in response. The three of you continued with casual conversation, you eventually found out the man’s name was Chan. After a few minutes you excused yourself to go to the restroom. When you got back, Luna and Chan were dancing. Her arms wrapped around his neck and his hands on her waist. You didn’t want to intrude and act as a third wheel so you kind of just stood awkwardly a distance away. 

Little did you know a certain blonde man was eyeing you from his seat at the bar. As if in a movie, the crowd of people parted and you turned to meet his gaze for the second time that night. The lights in the bar started flashing to match the beat of the music, the beginning of ‘Carnival’ starting to play. A smirk played on his lips as he finished his glass of whiskey. He got up and made his way over to you. 

“Wanna dance?” He leaned down slightly to whisper in your ear. How could you say no to him? You wordlessly responded to him by pulling him closer and swaying your body to the music. You could smell his cologne and the alcohol on his breath. He himself was intoxicating by his presence alone. 

“What’s your name, Angel?” He asked as his hands caressed your sides. 

“Y/n, what’s yours?” 

“That’s such a pretty name. I’m Felix, nice to meet you, gorgeous!” He kissed your cheek. Your body stilled for a split second as a blush creeped up. 

Do Australians normally greet like this or is he just bold? Maybe he’s drunk? 

He asked a few more questions to get to know you a bit better and in turn you got to know him. You found out that Sydney is his hometown, he’s 23, and he came here with his friend, Chan. You told him that your friend, Luna is currently off somewhere dancing with Chan. You couldn’t remember the last time you’ve had such a good time getting to know another guy. You felt comfortable with Felix to say the least. 

What would he say if he saw you with another man? Thoughts of your ex popped into your mind again. You quickly pushed those thoughts aside not wanting to ruin the moment. 

Another song that you particularly loved came on and you turned around to dance on Felix. Now you were the one being bold. Felix was pleasantly surprised and took the opportunity to put his hands on your hips to dance with you. The sensual tension between you two had increased as the song went on. Felix placed his face in the junction between your neck and shoulder laying a gentle kiss there as he breathed you in. You reached a hand back to run through his soft hair. 

The night continued into the wee hours of the morning. You and Felix had built plenty of tension in the time you had danced together. You had realized it had been a while since you checked on Luna. As much as you didn’t want to stop dancing with Felix you needed to check on your friend. You excused yourself from his hold to find her practically hanging onto Chan. 

“Oh my god, Chan I am so sorry! Luna, how much more did you drink?” You apologized to the man and took your friend from his hold to stand her up straight. All she could do was smile and laugh. Her pupils were blown wide, definitely a sign she was drunk. She stumbled back, but Chan helped you steady her. 

“She only had one other drink after you left.” Chan told you. 

“Dammit, Luna, I told you no more! Come on, we're going home.” You told her while holding onto her upper arm. 

“We can help you!” You heard two voices instead of just one. You looked over to see Felix coming to stand next to Chan. You raised an eyebrow at the both of them. 

“It’s fine, it’s only a short walk from here.” You stated. 

“You walked here and you think she’ll be able to walk back?” Chan questioned while pointing at your ill-balanced friend. 

He had a point. They both seemed nice enough and trustworthy so you took them up on the offer. 

The four of you made it out of the bar. You tried getting Luna to walk straight but it proved fruitless as she kept tripping. Chan took Luna from your hold and hoisted her up to carry her on his back. Luna screamed and laughed at first in her drunken state. You watched as your friend was having such a good time getting a simple piggyback ride. Chan was playing into it, twirling in circles every once in a while and running ahead with the biggest smile on his face. You couldn’t help but chuckle at their antics. 

Felix was walking right next to you brushing the back of his hand against yours. He kept quiet most of the walk back but would give you a reassuring smile when you looked his way. You’d soon realize he was keeping an eye on the surroundings making sure your little group was safe. 

A short bit later, you all had reached the house you and Luna were staying at. You unlocked the door and ushered the others in before you. 

“Do you mind carrying her to her room, Chan? It’s down the hallway on the right.”

“Sure thing.” He kept her on his back and made his way to her room. You could hear her squeal once he dropped her down on the bed. Chan made his way back out to the living room to meet back up with you and Felix. 

“Pretty sure she’s going to pass out any second now.” Chan said. 

“Thanks again, Chan and Felix for walking us back.” You were grateful for their help.

“Ah shit…” Felix whispered while looking at his phone, “All the ride shares are offline right now. Guess we’re hoofing it, Chan.” He patted the older man’s shoulder as they turned towards the door getting ready to leave. 

“Wait! It’s like 3am, how far do you guys have to walk?” You asked concerned.

“Probably like an hour walk at least. Wouldn’t you think?” Felix looked at Chan, he nodded his head to confirm. 

“Absolutely not, you guys are staying here until you can get a ride.” You said matter of factly. 

The boys looked at each other for a moment then back at you. 

“It’s really no big deal, we can-“ Chan started,

“No, no I insist. It’s the least I can offer for getting us back safe.” You interrupted. 

They put their hands up in defeat. You let them know they could make themselves comfortable on the couch and that you’d be in your room if they needed anything. 

Normally, you wouldn’t have even let two men you just met at a bar come into your makeshift home but you were on vacation, they were nice, and you needed help with Luna. 

You went into the shared bathroom to brush your teeth and change into your sleep shorts and top before settling into your room. You kept your door open in case the boys or Luna called out for you. A few minutes had passed and you were sat on the bed brushing out your hair when you heard a knock on the doorframe. It was Felix. 

“Sorry to intrude, I was feeling kind of lonely since Chan fell asleep on me out there. Mind if I come in?” He seemed shy all of a sudden. You offered a soft smile and pat a spot on the bed for him to come sit. He came over to sit at the edge and looked at you sheepishly. 

“I think we’ll be here until sunrise when the ride shares are operational again.” He admitted.

“That’s okay, you guys are more than welcome to stay.” You reiterated while continuing brushing your hair. 

Felix was silent for a moment just admiring you. You got up after a while to get some makeup wipes to clean your face. He followed your movements, watching the way your top rid up slightly to show off the dimples on your back. 

“How come I’ve never seen you around here before?” He finally asked. 

“Luna and I aren’t from here, we came to visit for a getaway.” 

“A getaway? Like a vacation?” 

“You could say that. She was tired of me ‘rotting’ after my breakup.” You were truthful with him. 

“Oh, I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to pry.” He apologized.

“Don’t be, it’s been 6 months and I need to get over it. Easier said than done though.” You sighed as you got back on the bed, sitting crisscrossed with your back against the headboard. Felix seemed more relaxed now and sat opposite you in the same position. 

“Is that why you seemed distant at times tonight?”  His inquiry made you slightly cringe.

“You noticed, huh?” 

“How could I not? You would tense up and stare into space randomly while we danced.” He gave a light chuckle. 

“My ex just plagues my mind sometimes. I wish I could get him out of my head.” You averted your eyes and shook your head. 

“I can help you with that… if you want.” He proposed. Your face twisted in confusion, you had no idea what he was even offering. 

“How?” 

He approached you slowly and leaned in giving you ample opportunity to move away but you didn’t.

“By making you forget,” he said while brushing his lips against yours. Your breath hitched in your throat as you looked up into his brown eyes. All you could do was nod your head and then he fully connected your mouths. All the tension that had been building throughout the night had led up to this moment. Finally kissing Felix felt so right, it sent sparks throughout your body. 

His hands came up to cup either side of your jaw, his thumbs rubbing over the apples of your cheeks as the kiss deepened. One hand trailed down to your neck giving an experimental squeeze, not enough to choke you but it still elicited a gasp to escape you. Felix took the chance to push his tongue into your mouth and you welcomed it gladly. Already your mind was becoming fuzzy from just kissing him, you couldn’t imagine how else he’d make you feel. 

Felix moved your body down to a more comfortable position as he trailed open mouthed kisses down the column of your throat. His hands moved under your shirt caressing the skin on your waist. 

“Can I take this off, Angel?” He asked in a low sultry voice. You nodded. 

“Words, Angel. I have to hear you say it.” 

“Yes, please,” you whispered.

“Good girl.” He praised before removing your shirt. You didn’t wear a bra to bed normally so your breasts were on full display for him. He leaned back taking in the sight of you. Felix had been staring so long you began getting self-conscious and covering yourself up with your hands, but he stopped you before you could. 

“Don’t hide this beautiful body from me.” He kissed your knuckles then returned to kissing down your throat and collarbone. He cupped your breasts in his hands and squeezed them simultaneously, feeling your nipples harden under his palm. You arched your chest trying to get his hands impossibly closer, but he pulled one hand away quickly replacing it with his mouth. He gave a harsh suck, making you moan out softly. Felix continued his actions, giving the same attention to your other nipple. 

You laid helpless to his mouth’s attacks under him as you reached up playing with the hair at the nape of his neck. Felix continued his descent down your body nipping, kissing, and sucking down your tummy and not forgetting to pay attention to your hips too. He hooked his fingers into the waistband of your soft sleep shorts and dragged them down your thighs, off of your legs. He was now left staring at your panty covered core. You lifted your legs so your knees were pressing up against your chest. Presenting your cunt to him. 

Suddenly, Felix took off his shirt before grabbing your thighs roughly and dragging your body down to the edge of the bed where he kneeled to be face to face with your center. His left hand rubbed the underside of your thighs and your ass as his right hand pulled your panties to the side. A string of your wetness connecting to the fabric of the undergarments. 

“Mm you’re practically dripping. I’m going to enjoy making you a mess.” His voice was somehow deeper as he spoke and that alone made your hole clench around nothing. Felix kissed along your right inner thigh, stopping to blow air over your clit, then going to kiss your left thigh. The sensations were making you squirm. 

“Felix, p-please,” you whimpered. As if answering your pleading, he flattened his tongue against your cunt licking a long fat stripe from your entrance to your clit before wrapping his lips around the bud and sucking. This caused your back to arch off of the bed and a rather loud moan to rip from your throat. Felix detached his lips from your clit to shove his tongue in your pussy. His tongue was covered in your slick as he fucked it into your hole. Your juices covering his lower face and dripping down his chin as you gushed. Maybe he should have put a towel down with how wet you were getting, but it’s too late for that now. Felix retracted his tongue so he could focus on swirling it around your bundle of nerves. You could feel your abdomen tighten as your impending orgasm was washing over you. Your eyes rolled back in your head and your vision went white for a few seconds. Felix practically sucked your pussy clean with lewd wet sounds filling the room. 

You were still coming down from your high as he stood to his feet and quickly did away with his pants. You were finally able to see Felix in all his glory. Toned abs and thighs, his body was breathtaking, his cock even prettier as it was erect at attention. You went to push your panties down but he stopped you. 

“Leave them on, you look good in them, Angel,” he admitted with a smirk. 

You did as he wished, leaving them on. You had relaxed fully on the bed as he got on his knees between your legs. Felix reached over you to grab a pillow from the head of the bed and placed it in front of his thighs. He then grabbed your hips pulling you down so your ass was in his lap and your lower back was supported by the pillow. You propped your legs up on either side of him as you felt he’d be keeping you in this position for a while. Felix took his cock in one hand, pumping it slowly while his other hand came to rub over your pussy. He gave it a couple of light taps with his fingers making your body jolt from the slight overstimulation. Your body is still sensitive from the orgasm his mouth gave you. 

“Hnn c’mon just fuck me already.” You were getting impatient as your neediness grew. 

“Patience, Angel. I’ll give you what you need.” 

His hand adjusted your panties making sure they’d stay in place at the side. Then he placed two of his fingers at your entrance pushing them in agonizingly slow before pulling them back out slightly, making a whimper leave your lips. Felix picked up the pace pumping his fingers into you in synchrony with pumping his cock. He was scissoring you open, prepping you for the stretch of his cock. The way your moans became more whiney coupled with your cunt clenching around his fingers he knew you were about to cum again. 

“I can feel your body, you’re gonna cum again aren’t you?” 

“Y-yes! Please lemme cum, wan’ cum for you,” you babbled out as your hips bucked onto his fingers. Felix kept fingering you, hitting that gummy spot that drove you crazy. He got you so close, right to the edge before he pulled his fingers out. Effectively ruining your orgasm. You whined out in protest. Your high gone from grasp. All you could think about was wanting him to get you there again, to take your body over and over again. 

Right before you could complain about needing to cum, Felix was rubbing his cock through your wet folds. 

“Hmm, your pussy is s’ pretty. All soaked for me. You’re gonna take my cock so well aren’t you, Angel?” He looked into your eyes as his tip was pressing to your hole, but not yet breaching entry. 

“Yeah, s’ well. All f’ you.” You were barely making coherent sentences anymore as if forgetting how to talk. Felix let out a dark chuckle, this is exactly how he wanted you. 

His cock finally pushed in and he gave his hips an experimental roll to make sure he was slotted deep within you. You moaned out at the stretch of his cock as the walls of your pussy engulfed his member completely. Felix gave you time to adjust as he picked up your legs that were previously at his sides to put them over his shoulders, landing gentle kisses to your calves to help you relax. After a bit he started thrusting into you at a slow and rhythmic pace. He swore under his breath at how good you felt while you struggled to keep your moaning under control so as to not wake your friends. The sounds of wet skin smacking against each other didn’t help either. 

Your hands reached out to grab at his legs underneath you and you couldn’t help but dig your nails into his thighs causing him to hiss in return. He steadily picked up the pace while reaching his hand down to rub at your clit. You let out a loud cry of pleasure and he quickly leaned over to capture your lips with his. Swallowing up the moans you were desperately trying to let out. Now that Felix had you somewhat muffled, his pace turned relentless. Pounding into your sopping cunt to hit that sweet spot, his balls smacking against your ass. You tried pulling away to catch your breath and let out your screams but he kept you in place. His arms on either side of your head and mouth slotted against yours. Drinking in every moan, whimper, and scream. Your legs started to shake and he felt your pussy clench hard around his cock as you came again that night. You had never had such a euphoric orgasm before, probably because he edged you. Felix finally removed his mouth from yours and quickly pulled his cock from your soaked hole. He fucked into his fist a few times before hot cum spurted out onto your stomach. His head leaned back as he let out a deep groan. 

You were still suffering from the aftershocks of your orgasm, breathing heavy and vision blurry. 

“Felix… oh, Felix.” Is all you could mutter out. 

He was panting but smiling wickedly as he looked down at you. 

“Yeah, keep saying my name, Angel. That’s all you need to know.” He kissed the corner of your mouth, proud of the delirious state he put you in. Felix got off of you to find something to clean you up with. He soon came back with a warm washcloth and wiped the sticky mess from between your thighs and his cum off of your tummy. He disposed of the soiled cloth then returned back to your bed. He smiled as he saw that you were already sound asleep. A job well done on his part. He climbed into bed, pulling your body up in a more comfortable position to cuddle in. Felix kissed your hair before nuzzling his face into your neck and passing out not too long after you. 

Morning came and the sun's rays shone through the window hitting your face. You stirred awake still in Felix’s hold. You could feel his soft snores fanning over your neck. The previous night’s scene replayed in your head making a blush apparent on your cheeks. You’ve never felt so completely satisfied as you did in this moment. Before you could daydream any longer you’d thought it’d be best to get up and check on your friend.

As you tried to sneakily get out of Felix’s grasp he pulled you back even closer to him. 

“Where do you think you’re going?” He was awake and his morning voice was so deep you barely recognized it as Felix. 

“To put on clothes and check on Luna.” 

“She’s fine, Chan’s got her.” He said.

“Chan is probably still asleep too though.” You remarked. 

“Hm, good point. Just five more minutes at least. You’re so warm.” Felix pleaded. 

You couldn’t say no to him so you settled in for a few more minutes. You turned over to face him and tangled your legs together under the blanket. You and Felix admired each other in a comfortable silence. Felix started to lean towards your lips but you pulled back covering your mouth. 

“Nuh uh, I still have morning breath.” 

Felix let out a half-hearted laugh, “and I still have the taste of your pussy on my tongue, but you don’t see me complaining.” 

Your jaw dropped at his comment and you playfully hit his shoulder. 

“Don’t say shit like that!” You whisper-yelled.

“It’s true. Matter of fact, I could go for seconds.” He said before quickly disappearing under the duvet already yanking your panties down your legs, actually taking them off this time.

“Felix! No get up here, right no- ah!” A squeak left your lips as he kissed your clit.

“Well I need to kiss something since you won’t give me your mouth.” You could hear the smirk in his voice. Before you could protest again he got to work on essentially making out with your pussy. Your sweet moans like music to his ears. 

Damn this Australian man, he was going to be the death of you. 

Thank you for your lovely request anon. Hope it lived up to your expectations!

Likes, comments, and reblogs are much appreciated!

Taglist: @doitforbangchan

[vitaminseetarot]

PAC: Random Messages You May Need 🌈🎆⛅

Sup, y'all. I'm finally back for another pick a card reading. I really apologize if folks have not heard from me over the past month, I meant to get this reading (among other things) out a while ago. I have not been able to touch tarot for the past few weeks. Life has been… topsy turvy, to say the least. Heh heh. [sweating profusely]

I meant to have another game out and to have paid readings available by now--that is still part of the plan. What was meant for June will be in July. So this blog might go from 0 to 100 mph real soon, to move along with plans as intended!

I was loosely inspired by the Baker pride flag from 1978 for this group selection. These piles are pretty nondescript: each one contains a random message that may resonate with you. Pick based on whichever color of the Prism Oracle speaks to you most, and feel free to choose more than one. Take only what resonates.

Pile 1 - Strength (Red) Pile 2 - Happiness (Orange) Pile 3 - Illumination (Yellow) Pile 4 - Movement (Green) Pile 5 - Flow (Turquoise) Pile 6 - Trust (Blue) Pile 7 - Intuition (Violet) Pile 8 - Love (Pink)

Pile 1 - Strength (Red)

10 of Swords, Insight

You've been asked by the universe to put up with a lot, especially recently. You're reaching a finish line of a very long and brutal marathon. There have been too many times where you questioned whether or not to throw in the towel. If you have, you may also have questioned whether or not it was the correct choice. Sometimes, things don't work out, and it's better to move on. It can be difficult to hold everything up when one thing after another seems to fall apart at the seams, but either way you're being reminded of the light at the end of this long and turbulent tunnel.

Collect yourself, pick up what pieces you can. Time has shifted everything, but the essentials still stand. Gather the wisdom you have learned from this ordeal. There is still beauty to be found in the decay, glittering gems in the rough.

Maybe you don't want to get stronger. Healing may feel like a better option than grinding for difficult experience points. Give yourself the rest and repair you need. Let go of only that which is keeping you from starting again, but you don't need to throw the baby out with the bathwater. You've gained so much wisdom and strength, this trial wasn't without gain. Treasure it and begin anew.

Pile 2 - Happiness (Orange)

2 of Swords, Clarity

Whatever answers you seek are coming to you. Or perhaps they've already arrived; open your eyes and see for yourself. You may be wondering which path will satisfy you more. The process of reconciling this could take forever unless you lean on your gut here. This can't be decided based on intellect alone, for you could get stuck mulling it over for days. Imagining all the different possible outcomes could be taxing for your brain, so narrow it down. Eliminate the weakest links and home in on what excites you. It should feel like an "aha, yes!"

If you cannot see the answer right away, go within to the realm of imagination. Feel your way through. Visualize not just with sight but with yearning. Does the light of the sun make you feel hopeful? Does the cool rain make you feel relaxed? Would an art class expand your capacity to imagine many things, or would taking a science class?

The X mark in 2 of Swords is like a railroad crossing sign. Redirect that train of thought into brighter and more positive avenues of expression. Say "what if" as if you can't wait for something to happen. "What if I saw a shooting star tonight? What if my cute neighbor asked me out?" Let the future shine its beacon for you. It will all make sense in due time.

Pile 3 - Illumination (Yellow)

Ace of Cups, Reconciliation

Have you been staying up way too late trying to figure everything out? Please give yourself a brain curfew: no problem solving or saving the day after 10 pm! I'm getting that you may tend to ruminate on the same strong emotions. For some I'm getting that there is a crush here. There's inconsistent text messaging. I know it's easy to get too nervous about their reply, but try to wait until at least the next day to hear back. They may need time to formulate their words right. They may not even see your message straight away. Take it all in stride and sleep on it; if they want to reach out to you, then they eventually will.

For others in this pile, you may be going through a rough patch with another person right now and could be wondering how things will pan out. Give them time to respond, they could still be processing it. Stay on the more positive end of things with the idea that things will work themselves out. I feel like if you can manage this in a relaxed and non hurried way, the knot will untangle easily. The coffee in the Ace of Cups is very hot, so give it a chance to cool.

There is opportunity in your near future to make up for something that went awry due to a miscommunication error. You may get a chance to make up for a test, appointment, or an interview. You will receive grace for any mishaps. Remember that tomorrow won't necessarily be the same as today, so cherish both the good you have now along with the good that soon awaits you.

Pile 4 - Movement (Green)

IX Hermit, Devotion

Looks like things are progressing faster than you even thought they would. You may be blinking your eyes in partial disbelief: could this ball really be rolling? Indeed, thanks to your efforts, goals are being met and results are more evident by the day. You eschewed a lot of distractions to make this work, so give yourself a pat on the back for the level of commitment you put into it. Some of you in this pile may have just graduated, if so then congratulations! But try not to get too comfortable with your laurels, for you have a long road ahead of you in whatever you do next. This one completion is the start of many.

Does that thrill you? If so, wonderful! On the other hand, some of you may be feeling uncertain about continuing. You may be reviewing your options to see if this really is worth pursuing. Something that requires a lot of dedication and focus on it to the exclusion of all else… yeah, I can see how that can get tiring after a long time. There are folks who can get their Master's right after their Bachelor's, or have another child right after the first, but people can also happily move on to what feels more right for them instead.

It's okay to stop and assess your tracks if necessary. Taking time off is not the same as quitting. It's not losing motivation, it's recovering it. This is your passion and your discipline, not anyone else's. If you need to give other parts of your life more room to breathe, then do so with the confidence that your great work will wait for you.

Pile 5 - Flow (Turquoise)

4 of Wands, Hospitality

Have you been stuck with something for a while? There's a strong sense of a blockage that is being eroded away over time. This process can be sped up by allowing the ice to thaw a little more. "Break the ice." You may be wanting to open up and spend more quality time with other people but don't know how. Or you could be faced with meeting new people and being nervous about interacting with them. Even more so if they're roommates. A few people in this pile could be moving or have just moved. This is a chance to ease up and get to know new people.

This blockage could be a result of the past and of anxiety. The sound of a turning doorknob just jumpscared me as I typed the last sentence. You may benefit from learning about social anxiety and how to manage it. It's not an overnight job for you to fix this, though, but to just be aware of it and not allow it to get in the way of positive change in your life.

If you're struggling to figure out how to deal with meeting new people, I would suggest looking up videos or how-tos on social interaction, especially if a certain etiquette is required for an event. Learn about conversation starters and fun things you could do together like hosting a game night. Practice makes perfect, and over time the blockage will melt into the stream.

Pile 6 - Trust (Blue)

3 of Swords, Conversion

You have a very soft and tender outlook on life, which makes it all the more painful when reality doesn't conform to such a compassionate vision. It doesn't always try to respond to vulnerability in appropriate ways. Much of the time, this isn't from natural events as much as it stems from the ways in which people can treat one another cruelly. You've had some toxic people in your life who have put you through the wringer and attempted to squeeze every ounce of kindness they could from you. Making light of this pain to them only resulted in further deflection and antagonism on their part. The only outcome was to salvage whatever you could and pray for the best.

It is not your job to change their closed minded perspectives. They're on their own, here. Do not concern yourself with their messy inner world and lose any more of your energy. Also, do not attempt to regain what energy has been lost through bargaining either, as much as it hurts to press onward without looking back. You will recover, but you have to move on first and prioritize what you deeply care about most (you included).

There will come a time when your heart will be healed so you can see the brighter side of human connection again. All the beauty that your gentle soul is seeking is still there, shrouded by layers of protective petals that will one day bloom again and your life will truly flourish. For now, this is a time to give yourself all the comfort you can.

Pile 7 - Intuition (Violet)

XII Hanged Man, Spring

I get the feeling that you've been waiting quite a while for some good results to come in. This could either be from something that you started back in the spring, or are waiting to see results which may come around springtime. It is a season of flowers, so you may be waiting for this thing to blossom--that is, to be fully presentable to the public in some way. To have something to show for the time you put in. Like "hey, this is what I've been working on, this came from the seeds I planted." It could be growing in a direction unlike what you're used to, leaving you wondering how it could succeed in such unusual and burdensome conditions.

Lean on your inner guidance when it comes to the right timing. I don't believe that you're currently in a space where you need to push so hard for the best results. You can let things move at their own pace. Over tending to anything can end up in just as much trouble as neglect. There's only so much you can do before you have to let the flower do the growing and blooming for itself.

It's not always easy to sit in the place of uncertainty with the idea that doing more will provide more. But sometimes less is more. What you're creating is coming to fruition and may even turn out better than you expected. Trust in both the knowledge you've earned over time from learning lessons, as well as your natural intuition, to help you decide when it's time to take action.

Pile 8 - Love (Pink)

7 of Swords, Gossip

Let your heart lead the way here, not your worries over what others will think. Sure, you may end up with some people talking about you, but opportunities will keep passing by if you wait for everyone else to catch up to you. Leaning too much on everyone else's perspectives will only distort the vision you have for your own life journey. We all have unique journeys to go on, but unconditional kindness remains at the center of the Love card, the one thing that brings us together. Following life from a heart centered place may result in having others glance over and whisper, but that shouldn't distract you.

There is a rather delicate message here about dealing with friendships, colleagues, or possibly even family. You may have a tricky situation between several other people right now who have beef not with you but with each other. They may be coming to you to air their grievances and ask for advice.

If you care about both of these people, then it's best to approach this issue as diplomatically and impartially as possible and avoid feeding into the conflict. What would an enlightened mindset do in this situation? How would you want the other person to behave if they were in your shoes? Come from a place of pure compassion. They may choose to make amends or not, it's up to them. If their butting heads is bringing you down, it's always okay to step back and take a break. You are not responsible for what's going on in their heart, only your own, so protect yours well.

This reading has not been evaluated by the FDA to diagnose, prevent, treat, or cure any disease or infection. Please ask your physician before going online.

2024, @VitaminseeTarot ™

[moonlight-canavalia]

Ch 3: It’s Love Isn’t It?

Pair: Satoru Gojo x F! Reader

Summary: Gojo doesn’t realize how much time has gone by while on a mission and misses a date you two had planned.

Cw: Bit of Angst, Smut,Mirror Sex, Bathroom Sex, Fluff, Pet Names, P in V sex, Teasing

It’s surprising how quick 6 months have gone by. Gojo had been talking up how amazing this date was going to be. Nothing was gonna come in between this celebration since last month the both of you were on different missions. And this marks half a year together.

At least that was what you thought.

Trying to call Gojo once again, nothing. The line rings and goes to voicemail after a few seconds. “The reservation was for 3 hours ago. You told me this was going to be quick. But here I am. Still waiting. You better have a good excuse. Bye.” Hanging up you throw your phone to the side.

“Oh I can’t wait. What is he gonna say tomorrow?” You think, knowing in the back of your mind this can happen at any moment. Gojo’s schedule is hectic; days for relaxation are rare. But you can’t help the way you feel. Getting ready for bed you decide to leave your phone away from you. Sleep isn’t easy to come by that night, but in the middle of all the tossing and turning your tired body finally succumbs to sleep.

Unknown to you Gojo is finally done with his mission. Furious and cursing himself for letting it drag on for this long. Finally being able to check his phone he’s met with all your missed calls and text messages. Seeing how late it was he still has some hope you were up. Ready to get some take out and wind down with you he tries calling. The line rings and rings, but you don’t pick up.

The white haired male hasn’t felt this defeated in a while, he’s come to the conclusion you’ve fallen asleep. Not wanting to disturb you he decides to go to his apartment alone. “Tomorrow”—he thinks—“I'll try making it up to you.”

Not being able to get you out of his mind he quickly sends a text “I’ll try making it up to you, my Angel, I didn’t expect this to take this long. I wasn’t able to give you a heads up, there was a lot going on.”

3:22AM reads the clock hanging on the wall at the entrance of his apartment.

Scoffing at the clock he takes off his shoes and starts making his way to the bathroom for a quick shower. Leaving a trail of his clothes behind him.

Turning on the water, he gets in. The shock of the first few seconds of cold water is quickly replaced by the welcoming hot temperature. Groaning under the stream he feels his muscles relax, he can feel the water washing the tension away. Reaching out to grab his body wash he grabs the one you’ve left, by mistake. With tiredness clouding his mind he hadn't noticed until the sweet scent of peaches invaded his senses. He feels like you’re there for a moment until he remembers you’re probably deep in dreamland.

Finishing up his shower he grabs a towel. Drying off and putting on some fresh clothes he makes his way to his bedroom; grabbing his phone on the way. Sitting on his bed, he’s thinking what is the best thing to send you. You’re probably mad at him or irritated at most. He knows you understand where he stands, he knows you’ll be there for him. But also acknowledges that you can still be upset. That’s why he’s unsure on what to write. Should he just explain himself and say he’ll try to not let it happen again? No. He can’t. Gojo knows how hectic his schedule is and missions don’t come with a set end date or hour. So it’s best to not lie that way.

He comes up with a simple one.

‘I tried calling but it’s late, you’re probably sleeping right now. I didn’t expect it would take this long. I’ll see you tomorrow Angel.’

Sending the message he still has the need to add more to it. So that’s exactly what he does.

‘I hope you’re sleeping well.’

‘I miss you :(‘

‘Can you wake up already.’

‘You stink.’

‘Last message is a lie. But can you wake up already? I can't sleep!’

Checking his phone for the time it reads 5:17AM.

Sleep isn’t coming for him and he knows it. So he decides to go and grab some snacks at a convenience store and warp to your apartment. You’re supposed to have the day off and Gojo is going to make this day free for him too.

Three phone calls later and you still haven’t picked up. He was begging to worry that you were actually pissed and didn’t want to talk to him. But none of the messages had been opened yet. It’s barely 7AM so you just have to be sleeping still, he tells himself to not break his heart a little. Never in his wildest dreams did he ever think he’d be so worried about having someone be mad at him. He annoys people for fun, some ignore him and others get away from him when he gets too much. But just the idea of you not wanting to speak to him makes his stomach tie itself in knots even if he doesn’t want to admit it.

Warping into your apartment he walks around to your kitchen. Sometimes you sleep with your door open so he doesn't want to turn the lights on and disturb you just yet. It’s bright enough for him to see his way around. The sun is starting to come in with its early rays of light. Leaving the snacks and microwaveable food on the countertop he starts making his way to your room.

Stopping to admire your sleeping figure he takes his phone out and snaps a quick picture before walking towards you. He asks himself how did someone like you end up with someone like him. It’s a question he’s asked himself time and time again. Maybe one day he’d get his answer; but for now he’s happy it happened. The pure warmth he feels just looking at you makes him want to scream. But he decides on just sitting beside you while you’re on your side. Gently shaking you to wake you up.

“Good morning Angel” he says in a hushed tone, voice so low it’s almost foreign. He laughs at the small jump and deep breath you take.

“What the fuck” is the first thing that slips out of your mouth, surprised by him being there.

“Well not exactly ‘good morning love of my life’ but I’ll take it, sweetheart.” He says while leaning in to press a kiss on your forehead. “You are absolutely breathtaking. Maybe it’s your breath though.” Before he can start laughing you hit his arm. Pouting he rubs his arm in fake pain. “Why are you being so mean so early in the morning?”

Groaning at him while you stretch your body to find a comfortable position as Gojo slips right beside you under the bed sheets.

“What are you doing here?” Voice still a little hoarse with sleep. “What time is it?” You ask touching under your pillows trying to find your phone. Coming to halt once you remember you left it in the living room.

Humming to himself Gojo starts off “Well I’ve been trying to call you. But I can see you don’t have your phone near you.”

“No. I don’t.” You snap, turning away from him.

“I can sense that you’re irritated. But I really didn’t think it would take that long. It just happened and come on,” -lowering his voice to a bare whisper- “I missed you so bad I’m here. I haven’t even slept.” He says throwing his arm over you—pulling you closer to him.

Nestling against you he starts littering your neck with quick pecks trying to coax you to at least turn towards him. You know he didn’t do it on purpose and you could see it on his face how tired he is. “Did you really not sleep?” Your voice cuts through his onslaught of kisses.

“Nope.” He answers and hides again in the crook of your neck.

How can he still sound so upbeat? He has to be so tired and you can feel him grinning against your skin.

Gojo knows you can’t stay mad at him for long and he’s grateful for it. All he wants is to spend the day with you—everyday really—but he will settle for this right now… Maybe he’ll ask you to move in together. ‘One day’ he assures himself. He already knows you’re it for him, he’s known it since you both met. But he doesn’t want to scare you away. He will do it, he will make you his wife one day.

At his lack of words you reach back and pat his face. He gives a quick peck to the palm of your hand, letting out a small sigh you turn to face him. First thing you see is his bright smile. The smile reserved just for you, an honest one.

“Hi, am I gonna get my kiss or not?” he asks—draping his arm around your waist—“I missed you.”

You feel warmth spread across your body looking at him. Giving in, you get close enough to whisper against his lips “I missed you too”, lips brushing tentatively against his first. A kiss so soft it feels like the first fresh breeze on an autumn morning. “Now can we sleep? I’m still tired and you really should get some rest ‘Toru, hm?”

“Fineee” he drawls. “But can you at least give me a real kiss? That wasn’t a real one”

Before he starts pouting you beat him to it and gently squeeze his face “If you keep pouting your face will stay that way one day. Then what?” you mutter.

“Honestly? I don’t think you’d mind.” Gojo says as he tries to smile.

You want to say the opposite but you can’t. Offering him a low hum as a response. It doesn’t matter what he looks like, how mad he makes you sometimes, you’d always be there with him and for him; the same can be said for him..

The feeling of his long, lithe fingers making their way under your shirt sends a shiver down your spine. A trail of warmth is left against the skin of your back. Giving you a squeeze you understand his signal of wanting you to lay on your back. Shifting your position to accommodate him,

Gojo settles himself on top of you. Straddling your hips, caging you under him. Resting his arms beside your head he speaks softly “Do we really need specific days to celebrate? Because I don’t think so, I’d celebrate you —us— every day. We’ve done good so far. But I’ll try to do better.” He punctuates each word with a kiss, starting from your shoulder all the way up until he makes it to your lips.

“Satoru, if you forget our actual anniversary you’re screwed. I hope you know that”. Bringing his left hand to caress the side of your face you feel any sliver of annoyance leave your body. Smiling up at him he gives your lips a quick peck and settles beside you once more.

Laying on his side, face resting on his open hand he looks at you. Really looks at you and the silence, though just mere seconds feels stretched. But before you can speak he cuts you off with “Your smile is a piece of art. You’re just the most precious little thing aren’t ya?”.

He surprises you in so many ways, and his words are the biggest ones. Feeling yourself start to get warm you lightly tap his chest “stop it”. And bury your face in your pillows. Grabbing your hand he gives a kiss to your knuckles and responds “I don’t think so”.

In the middle of the conversation you two were having you fall asleep. It’s funny how easy it came to you. Barely making it to 20 minutes, and you were already out. He could fill you in on what happened later. “Must’ve been tired, huh sweet thing?.” He murmurs to himself. Watching your sleeping face is one of his favorite things, he sees the movement behind your eyelids and wonders what you’re dreaming of. Hopefully it involves him in some way, you look tranquil, so peaceful. Slowly he brings his hand up, knuckles gently brushing the side of your face. He wants this —you— everyday. It’s the one thing he’s been sure about.

Easing himself in a comfortable position with such care as to not wake you up, he can’t take his eyes away from you. Picturing waking up next to you every day. He’s caught again in the same thought ‘I want her with me everyday’. At some point he fell asleep, hand covering the side of your face. So imagine his surprise when the both of you wake up some hours later trying to have a normal conversation but you’re still talking about the size of his hand.

“Well I won’t let it happen again if it bothers you.” He chuckles knowing well that’s not the case. Sitting down on your couch.

“ I didn’t say that; it’s just your palm alone is the size of my FACE” you deadpan.

It’s something you’ve known and noticed since you met him. But having him now always touching you, you find yourself flabbergasted.

“And even though I appreciate the fact you brought food and snacks, you better not let anything fall on my couch or so help me—“

Interrupting you mid sentence with his booming laugh “Stop exaggerating,”

Rolling your eyes at him “I’m not and you know that. I’m not gonna play this game with you.” You say as you’re cleaning your countertop.

“Aw come on”— he says “come here” he continues, grinning ear to ear.

“And why should I do that when you can come over here.” Raising an eyebrow at him, you wait for his answer.

“Because I asked nicely” and he smiles that bright smile of his that gets him whatever he wants.

Sighing dramatically you walk towards him. Standing in front of him you cross your arms and prepare yourself for whatever it is he’s gonna say or do. What you’re not prepared for is for him standing up and grabbing your face between his thumb and forefinger. Eyes slightly opening wide you look up at him and the smile hasn’t left his face. Applying some pressure he makes your lips pucker up.

“Well look at that Y/N you were right.” Taking a closer look at you he lowers his voice “you look cute like this.”

Your brain short circuits. Before you get a chance to speak he brings his thumb up against your lower lip. Slowly dragging it along. He knows you’re looking at him, but he can’t seem to tear his gaze away from your soft lips. Often lost in thoughts about how they feel, how you taste, the noises you make. Those are things he thinks about at night, in the privacy and comfort of his room. Still not fully grasping the fact that you both are together. It’s still so new to him. The fact that you’re still shy around him is something he relishes.

Right now an innocent jab is turning into something he’s not sure he wants to stop.

“Open” he says barely above a whisper.

With how loud your heart is beating you wonder if he hears it. Slowly you open your mouth just wide enough for him to slip his thumb in.

“Atta girl” comes out in a gravelly tone.

Sucking it gently, you make yourself hold eye contact with him.

Swallowing hard Gojo lets out a short breathy laugh.

“Heh, you really are something else. Aren’t ya? My sweet girl and look at her.” He speaks with heavily lidded eyes, focusing now on your mouth. The warmth of your mouth has his mind wondering. Without much thinking, he applied some pressure to your tongue and went a bit further in. Bringing himself closer to you, he rests his left hand on your hip and starts squeezing. “That’s it baby, I gotta start training you hm? That way you can take more of me.” Your doe eyes look at him in surprise,and he snickers at you.

Pink starts to dust his cheeks and it’s such a cute sight, contrary to what’s happening. And you feel heat start to make its way up your neck. Deciding enough with his game you take a step back. His finger leaves your mouth with a small “pop” noise and you’re not sure where to look.

“Well, I hope you had fun.” you try to say as stern as you can in your flustered state.

Gojos eyes go wide for a second, he was quick to wipe the shock off his face. Grinning down at you he gives you a tight hug, resting his chin on your head “you’re so mean, baby.”

Rolling your eyes at him “Gojo”

“Ew don’t call me that. You can’t call me that; it should be illegal.” He says with furrowed brows.

Laughing, you hug him. “Oh no yeah, I’m glad you're laughing while I feel dirty here.”

“Stop being such a baby.” You say looking up at him.

Chuckling he pinches your left cheek while leaving small pecks on your right one. “Do you want to take a shower together?” he asks after stopping. Rubbing small circles on your hips, he waits for your answer.

“Let’s go then” you say, grabbing his hand as you start your way to the bathroom.

"If you wanted me naked that bad you could've just asked sweetheart, I don't mind."

"Satoru, I will drown you." you bark at him

"Aw, anything that happens by your hands will make me happy. It doesn't matter what it is." he blows a kiss at you.

Deciding to ignore him you open the shower room door, and step inside. Turning on the water you turn around to start taking your clothes off and to you're stunned to find Gojo already down to his black boxer briefs. "What?" He asks as you look at him up and down. "You like what you see? I know, it's a lot to take in."

Rolling your eyes you turn your back to him, to start taking your clothes off. As you go to take your shirt off, you feel his hands on your waist, "let me help" he says as he gives you a kiss on the top of your head. Hands now roaming under your shirt all you mumble is a simple "mhm" back to him. Pinching the hem of your shirt you instinctively raise your arms so he can take it off. Covering your breasts you turn to face him. You suppress the laugh that wants to escape your mouth when you see your boyfriend squatting , he didn't have to do it. But he is a strange man sometimes, so you just let him do what he wants and not question it. Gojo leaves a kiss on each of your hips and starts to slowly drag your pants and underwear down. Kissing down your thighs and legs he tells you to step out of them as they bunched around your ankles. Standing to his full height he drags his boxers down and leaves them on the floor. You're bashfully looking away not being able to meet his gaze. Stepping in to the shower he lets you get under the hot water first, gladly looking at how the water glistens over your skin.

Getting harder the more he watches you he decides to ignore his predicament in favor of cleaning you first. Lathering you up he slowly drags his hands all over your body "I'm just gonna help."

"Liar" you think to yourself, as his hands are busy massaging your breasts. Thumbs gently rubbing your hardened nipples. You weren't gonna complain, he was doing a good job making sure he cleans you well. "Almost done sweetheart. You still had some soap here." He says as he has you pressed against his wet chest. "Oh, almost forgot her" he says cupping your pussy. "Spread your legs a bit for me." You take in a shuddering breath at his words, but do as he says. Dragging two of his long fingers up and down your slit you can't help the low moan you let out at the minimal contact. Smiling to himself you feel his fingertips circling around your clit, adding more pressure bit by bit. Grateful that he had his left arm around your waist for support, since your legs are starting to tremble; you hold on to his arm to maintain your balance. Closing your eyes you open your legs wider subconsciously. "Look at me pretty girl" he says as he lets go of your waist, angling your face up to look at him. Not opening your eyes, lost in the feeling he's causing between your legs he gives your cheek a few taps. "I said look at me." and you snap your eyes open at his rough tone. "Good girl" and at that you feel his slender fingers prod at your entrance.

"Do you want me to touch you...here? Hm?" he hums. With how close he's holding your body against his you feel the vibrations in his chest against your back. Latching his lips against your neck he leaves a mark against your soft skin. You're lost in the feeling of his lips against your sensitive neck you barely registered the stretching feeling until he started moving his fingers in and out of you. With how long they are you feel them reach so deep in you it always leaves your head spinning. Your sweet whimpers are filling the the space around the both of you, water getting lukewarm against your bodies, and all he wants is to make you cum before he buries his cock in you.

You're moving your hips, growing more desperate to get yourself off. "Aah-fuck" you moan as you stretch one of your arms so you can tangle your fingers in his hair "more" you say pulling at his roots; the stinging sensation making him groan. You feel Gojos warm lips against your neck speaking to you in a condescending tone "I'll make you cum baby. Is that what my girl wants?" feeling your pussy squeeze around his fingers he quickens his movements against your sopping cunt. The high pitched moans that you let out feel like a blessing to his ears each time he hears them. He needs to make you finish before he cums, he's been grinding his cock against your ass from the start and it's getting painful how much he want to cum. Taking his fingers out of your pussy he rubs your clit in circular motions.

Growing desperate he's begging for you to cum, its pitiful the whine that slips his mouth. It's wonderful, having such a strong man be putty in your hands. Not even properly touching him once, since you both got in the shower and he's ready to bust a nut by just the feel of your skin against his. Every small sound, rough touch with his free hand is going straight to your core. Satoru's fingers are drenched in your essence and he loves every second of it. Applying more pressure to your bundle of nerves while he keeps whispering how much he NEEDS you to cum, the band in your stomach finally snaps and you're coming and almost yelling his name. He slows down his fingers movements to give you a moment to breathe and come down from your high.

"Bed now" Gojo almost growls while reaching to turn the water off.

While you wobble a bit getting your footing you reach for a towel to dry off, and his hand stops you. "No time, I need you, and I need you now." the tall white haired male speaks against your neck.

"Toru, baby it's quick let me dry off" you quip.

Pressing his chest against your back he drags his lips against the conjunction of your neck, scraping his teeth against your skin, feeling your pulse pick up. Running his hands down the sides of your body squeezing as he made his way to your hips. Almost breathless he tells you to turn over. The moment you turn and are met with his eyes a shiver runs down your spine. He looks almost predatory, eyes sharp, pupils dilated to a point where the pretty blues you are so accustomed to see have been almost swallowed up. And you are his defenseless pray; for some reason that excites you. There's a dull throb between your legs looking up at him, wet hair clinging to his forehead, face flushed.

"Jump" and you do without hesitation. Feeling his fingers dig into the back of your thighs as he grabs you. "I'm just fucking you here, I don't want to waste more time."

Nodding your head signaling yes that's all the confirmation he needs to completely bury his cock in your cunt with one move of his hips. You feel the wind knocked out of you at the sudden feeling of being full and you wrap your arms around his neck while Gojo groans at the warm tight feeling of your walls. No matter how prepared you are it still feels like his thick cock is splitting you in two. He doesn't give you much time to get adjusted to his length, spreading his legs to stay balanced while he bounces you on his cock. Digging your nails into his shoulder blades to ground yourself you don't realize you've broken skin until you hear your boyfriend hissing.

"I-I'm s-sorry Sat-" you're able to choke out between his punishing thrusts up to you.

Shutting you up with a kiss he says against your lips "Do it again." The feeling of your nails sinking into his skin, breaking it, sends shockwaves through his body. Not used to the feeling of pain, he’s shocked on how much he’s enjoying it. The realization on how you really could destroy him and he’d still thank you is thrilling. His enemies would give anything for just a second of his vulnerability, and here he is just giving it to you without a second thought. Wanting to feel everything and anything with you he’d gladly let you do whatever you want to his body; it was yours, it belonged to you. Your walls start clenching around his cock and he throws his head back while you run your nails down his chest. "You feel amazing Angel. Do you feel good? Hm? Does my girl feel good? Oh, I bet she does with the way she's sucking me in" he gloats. Taking in a shaky breath he knows he's close to coming, so he makes his way to the sink "I'm gonna put you down Angel." Bringing his left hand to rest behind you on the sink, he cages you in with his body, using his right hand he lifts your chin up so you can look at him. You feel the sink digging against your back as he presses his sculpted body against yours. You notice his half-lidded eyes have a shine to them that takes your breath away. The humid room is starting to feel a bit suffocating, but he’s not done with you just yet. Closing your eyes at the feeling of his soft lips against yours you let yourself get lost in the feeling. He can be playful, needy or demanding; sometimes it’s a mixture of all three making it difficult to keep up. Both of his hands are now holding your face as he kisses you with fervor. Sucking and nibbling at your bottom lip, stealing your breath, thoughts, he's invading every sense of your being; and you're happy to give him anything he wants. Your lungs are feeling on fire, and he feels like he could keep going, but you pull back to give yourself a breather. Gojo repositions his hands on your hips while you take in shuddering breaths. Kissing his way down from your neck to your breast he gives them both a kiss, sucking on one of your nipples while he lightly pinches the other. You're not sure how your hand made itself at home tangled in his hair, but he doesn't mind; he never does. "Turn" he says impatiently. Leaning down you grab the edge of the sink, you feel Gojo's fingers on your waist as he guides his cock to your entrance burying himself with one move of his hips. Setting a slow pace dragging his hips back and thrusting himself back in harsher. Growing desperate at his slow pace you start moving yourself back, meeting each of his thrusts. Warm palms touching every bit of skin he can without his thrusts stopping, you feel the tip of his dick kissing your cervix deep inside you. There’s nothing he enjoys more than your flustered faced accompanied by your small whines and moans as he destroys your pussy. The way Gojo rocks his hips against yours is stealing every breath you try to take. Knuckles turning white with how hard you're gripping on to the sink to maintain yourself up and not fall flat on your face.

The mischievous man you call your boyfriend has an idea as he examines the foggy mirror. "Wipe it with your hands so you can look at yourself, pretty, look at the filthy expressions you make taking my cock" Clenching at his words you stretch to wipe the mirror but are unable to reach it properly with how hard Gojos hips are hitting the back of your thighs. Clicking his tongue at you he reaches over with his long arm -chest pressing you down to the sink- and wipes it for you. "Can't even do a simple thing like that? You're so cock drunk." Bringing your hips back to meet his thrusts you take in a sharp breath when he reaches down to roll your clit between his fingers. The long drawn out moan you let out makes him more feral. "I want you to be louder my Angel" he praises. Chest flushed against your back, you feel how his chin is digging in to your shoulder as he looks at your face on the mirror. His breathing has grown labored fighting off the need to cum.

Your lower belly feeling tighter and tighter with each swipe of his fingers. "You're gonna be a good girl and cum for me right?" and he's desperate kissing everywhere he manages to reach. "YES YES YES" practically yelling at the top of your lungs. And with some added pressure, and sweet words from him you feel yourself tipping on the edge of your orgasm. You can feel his dick pulsing inside you and something inside you snaps. You start laughing breathlessly and his eyes are wide looking at you on the mirror. And he feels like he's going to go insane. Wrapping one of his big hands around your neck, he gives you back the biggest smile he can muster and his words are vicious. "You're such a little whore, I knew it baby, filthy girl". Applying pressure to your neck, he lifts one of your legs to the counter, helping him reach deeper in you. Your eyes are rolling to the back of your head as he hit that spongy spot deep in you. The restriction of air to your lungs has your mind hazy. As he keeps hitting that special place with precise thrusts it finally has you coming around his cock. White hot pleasure coursing through your entire body has you thrashing around.

Gojo throws his head back and lets a high pitched moan slip his mouth. Milky white lashes fanning over his pretty pink tinged cheeks as he closes his eyes, rutting his hips harder desperately chasing his own orgasm. Your pussy still pulsing around him fueling his desire to finish, switching between whines and moans. With quivering lips he says something before his brain can catch up and stop him. Too lost in the way your pussy is still gripping him, he pulls out to finish on your back with a loud groan. He's catching his breath when he hears your sharp breath. You turn, facing him with a bewildered look on your face. A look of confusion evident on your boyfriends face.

"What did you say?" you ask him, uncertainty in your voice. Were your ears deceiving you or did you hear correctly? Did he mean it or was it a thing spur of the moment of passion. Gojo is uncomfortably silent at your question. He looks almost frighten and that's a look that has your stomach tying itself in knots.

The strongest is currently at a loss for words and is in a state of dismay. He's still silent but moves so he can hide in the conjunction of your neck. Feeling how your heartbeat picked up. "Satoru?" Your hand coming up to touch the side of his face. "What did you say?" you ask urgently.

He's afraid of what might happen. But he means those words and he's not gonna take them back. "I love you. You do not have to say it back if"— he’s stopped mid sentence. Your eyes are misty and he’s afraid he might have said it too early and that it’s gonna scare you off. "No, wait, you really don’t—I’m—" stammering his words until you pull his face towards you kissing him in a way he’s never felt before. This feels different than the others and it’s the clash of emotions behind it that’s giving it that feeling. “I love you too”.

Pt. 1

Pt.2

Pt.4

Pt.5

[disneyprincemuke]

our spot, 2 * ls2

it’s about two weeks since you last saw logan and you find him sitting all alone in the dark

pairings: logan sargeant x fem!reader

warnings: logan is the warning idk

notes: i know it took me forever to write this subpar ass second part but like- i kinda like it because i'm bad with resolutions and making up (i'm single)

also i'd like to have a word with whoever made this gif because it's like so disrespectful like he is so fine why would u do this?

(f1 masterlist)

(prev)

“you’re growing up too fast,” your mother had said to you earlier after you finished packing the last of your boxes. the boxes that would be sent off to new york in a couple of days before you head out right before new year’s.

thankfully, your family agreed on flying over with you to spend the holiday with you. you had spent weeks and months rethinking the choice of your relocation; if you could handle being away from your family.

your father insisted you explore the world without them by your side and you took up the offer. you'd broken up with the guy you were seeing a couple of days ago.

while you had your doubts about where your relationship was going, there was no denying the amount of time you'd spent together. it still stung you quite a little bit to up and leave him. he had asked you if there was any way to make it work, but you couldn't get yourself to say anything.

so, he pulled you in for a hug and wished you well. and then you left, tearing up very slightly on the drive home alone.

it would be nice to start fresh in a new place. your last conversation convincing you to pick up the pieces of yourself and start moving on for real.

though, it seems it would take forever to do that. you hadn’t only lost a romantic connection when you lost logan, but also your best friend.

the first person you called when you crashed your car on the highway when you were 17, the person who stood up to the girl who made fun of you when you were 9, and the only one who knew you better than you knew yourself.

so here you are at 3 in the morning walking the quiet streets of your small town with your hands in the pockets of your sweater. you try to stifle the sniffle that escapes you, having spent the past couple of hours in tears at the thought of leaving behind everything you’ve ever known.

packing up and spending months in new york, then indefinitely in germany made you a nervous wreck. though the company you’re working for has arranged everything for you from the airport pickup to the apartment estate you’ll be spending your days in.

when you left your house, you glanced across the street to disappointment. logan’s truck isn’t parked on the street and his room had its blinds drawn — the way it’s been since you last saw him.

when you first got the promotion, you almost picked up your phone to text logan. but the heavy weight of guilt made you hit erase and put your phone down after a second.

even when you had graduated about 6 months after cutting contact, you wanted so bad to send him a photo of you and your degree together. but, there was something so embarrassing about reaching out and starting a conversation like nothing had happened.

you posted it on your instagram stories, reposting every single tagged picture for days after to hopefully prompt a message of congratulations from logan. but he didn’t bite.

it made you wonder if you’ve truly made a mistake suddenly cutting him off.

you sigh, making a sharp turn after you pass the school. there’s a dark figure up ahead on the playground that makes you question if it’s a mistake that you’ve come here so late at night.

but it’s a relatively safe gated community. you press your lips together as you approach, your breath hitching in your throat when you’re finally able to make out the man sitting at the end of the slide.

“fancy seeing you here,” logan mumbles, throwing the pieces of rubber from the playground floor into the ground. “it’s late.”

“yeah, i just finished packing,” you answer under your breath, passing him to sit at the edge of another slide. “just needed to do some thinking. didn’t expect you’d be here.”

logan grins to himself with a soft chuckle. “yeah, i’m sorry for intruding.”

you hadn’t been here since you last asked him to come here and see you. in fact, prior to that meetup, you’d only been here a total of 5 times since you last talked.

it reminded you too much of the memories you shared with him growing up.

you lie back in the comfort of the slide. “don’t worry about it. i don’t come here often,” you smile to yourself as you confess. "not anymore."

"i can tell," logan mutters. "i've been here every night since you texted me."

"oh." you take a deep breath, not knowing if you'd like the answer to your question. "what for?"

"thinking real hard," he says just barely above a whisper. he turns to you with a small smile. "i was thinking about you. and germany... and how close it is to me."

your breath hitches. you won't admit to him, but you accepted the offer to move to germany to at least be remotely close to him. or to at least convince him to give your relationship a shot.

you've been apart for years. the only way you got to spend time together back then was if you'd make the effort to visit him in the uk, or if he had the time to fly back home. it was difficult to keep finding ways to make the relationship last.

you had to pretend for a while that you never had to end it. but you knew in your heart two years ago that it cannot keep going on like this. you cried and cried every single time at the airport when he would have to leave you behind in this small town.

you knew his mother mentioned to him about the guy you were seeing. because your mother came to you asking questions about the mysterious guy you never even told her about.

every night after that, you thought about calling logan to explain yourself; that it's not what he thinks it is. but were you really in the position where you had to explain yourself?

"i do love you," he says, picking at the rubber grit once more to avoid your stare. "but the long-distance... barely seeing each other for months on end... it was hard. i couldn't give you what a normal guy would. i couldn't keep making you wait around for nothing."

"but that's not up to you to decide," you say slowly, hoping that he would understand where you came from. "it's unfair. i was willing to go through all of that with you. we've been through so much together."

"i didn't want to risk losing you over something like that," logan sighs, looking up at you in despair. there's a sadness in his eyes that you've never seen before. "it was lonely without you. you're my best friend - losing you over something different entirely was devastating. i didn't have anybody else."

you shake your head, unsure of what to say to him. it was lonely for you when you cut him off. you went from communicating everyday to only catching glimpses of his life on tv, instagram and media news sites.

every single achievement you had, you thought about calling him and hearing his proud voice. but you couldn't fully back yourself on the fact that you broke your own heart because he wanted to keep you around.

"i thought of you every single day," logan says. "i'm sorry. i know you've got a boyfriend and i'm sure he's great, but-"

"i told you," you laugh dryly, throwing your head back. "if you just tell me right now... i'll be all yours."

"but i can't do that to somebody else," logan frowns with a shake of his head. he's contemplated a lot over the past couple of days. how appealing your proposal sounds to him, but the fact that you're still seeing somebody has been making him hesitate. "you know what that means."

you press your lips together. logan's always made sure that he was as morally right as much as he could with his decisions. you sigh, a small hesitant smile stretching your lips. "we broke up."

"what?"

"i broke up with him a couple days ago," you whisper, dropping your eyes to avoid his questioning stare. "i just wanted to go to germany with a fresh start."

logan doesn't say anything immediately. and you don't follow up your confession with anything either. so you look up into the sky as you sway your feet left and right as you try to count the stars that illuminate the night sky. your heart pounds in your chest as you anticipate what he will say next.

and you know he's still there, thinking hard because you can still see his shadow against the playground flooring.

"stay the night," he says softly.

you sit up, both of your hands gripping the sides of the slide as you turn to look at him. "what did you just say?"

"come home with me and then let's talk about it," logan smiles, though he still looks just as tired as before. "let's figure it out, you and me; germany. let me make this right."

"you idiot," you laugh, tears falling out of your eyes again as you have another outburst. "logan."

"wait, why are you crying?" his voice is soft and laced with shock, hands held out towards your body. "i thought this was what you wanted? did i cross a line? i'm sorry."

"no, i just," you cry, wiping the tears from your face. "god, i just missed you so much. i'm sorry. it's not you."

he's now gotten up from his seat. he's knelt down next to the slide you're sitting in, trying to reach out and touch your arm. "i'm sorry. i'm sorry it took me this long." his thumbs swipe over your cheeks, wiping away your tears. "please don't cry anymore."

@thatgirlmj @lfm98 @gentlyweeps-world @ladywhistledownx @charli123456789 @lightdragonrayne @k-pevensie28 @angsthology

[hellfirenacht]

Wing Man Bonus Story: Next October

This is a non-canon blurb for Wing Man. It’s non-canon because it gives Reader a specific birthday month. This was written for me and for @sheneedsrocknroll92 as we are actually twins with the same October birthday, ignore the gap year between us. 

You don’t need to know much about Wing Man to enjoy this, but you should read it anyway because it’s a finished 86k word Reader/Eddie fic and don’t you want to read a finished fic that long? Yes. Yes you do. (You also want to leave comments on all the fics you read when you enjoy them, js)

Anyway, say Happy Birthday to both of us. Also, sorry this is a few days late lol

1.8K Words

Plot: It’s your birthday, and you’re drowning in work. Thankfully, you have an amazing boyfriend to help you relax.

Tags: Eddie Munson x Reader, established relationship, fluff, overuse of the word slut (affectionate)

You loved your job, really. Most nights you wouldn’t trade it for anything in the world. You got to spin and talk about almost anything that you wanted, play music you enjoyed, and even spend the occasional commercial break with your amazing boyfriend when he stayed late at the studio. 

But there were only so many hours in the day. Your nights from midnight to 6 am were spent on air. Your mornings were chores and errands while everything was still open, followed by sleeping until dusk where you’d wake up and would head to work so early to spend some time with Eddie at the recording studio, or at one of his gigs, or do any other number of things around the studio. 

It didn’t even occur to you that it was almost your birthday. You had been so wrapped up in your own work and helping Eddie and Corroded Coffin that it wasn’t until you saw Halloween decorations being put up around the studio that you realized that October was right around the corner, which meant that it was also almost your birthday. 

It was a bittersweet seeing the decorations. It felt like only a few weeks ago that you had decorated Family Video with decorations you paid for out of your own pocket. Shit, that meant it had been about a year since you and Steve had made the little deal that had led you to where you are today. 

You should drop by and see him soon. 

Even though you and Eddie had started living together months ago, it still felt rare that you got to see him outside of work. Corroded Coffin was doing better than anyone (except you) could have expected. That meant lots of rehearsals, gigs, talking to local publications for interviews, and being awake when you were asleep. You were really starting to miss him. 

It was the morning of your birthday, and you stepped out of the old theater-turned-studio into the cool October air. There was a golden shine on everything as the sun peeked over the horizon, and the air felt crisp and cool but not uncomfortably so. 

I'm so glad I live in a world where there are Octobers. That quote floated through your mind as you got in your car. 

Even though it was your birthday, there were still things to be done. You grabbed your half of the rent, picked up some deodorant and toothpaste and the largest bottle of conditioner you could find for Eddie. You stood in the cereal aisle staring at the colorful boxes, allowing yourself the moment to pick out one that was appropriately themed for the month and that you and Eddie would both enjoy, and finally made it back home. 

Eddie wasn’t home when you got back to your apartment, it wasn’t unusual. You might have had set hours, but Eddie’s schedule was all over the place. Ever the life of an indie metal star. 

You put away your groceries and made your way to the closet where you kept all of the halloween decorations. You managed to pull out two boxes and open one before you hit the wall. These days of going non-stop were starting to catch up to you, and you found yourself just staring at the box as you sat on the couch for an undisclosed amount of time. 

Yeah, you needed sleep. 

It was damn near a miracle that your birthday lined up with your next few days off. You could sleep for a few hours, wake up, decorate and then figure out where the hell your boyfriend was. Most days you two would be at the studio together, but there were some days where Paige had him off doing something else with the band. 

You weren’t jealous that Paige was Eddie’s ex. You were jealous that she got to see him more than you did lately. You trusted him completely, but you really missed having a normal schedule with him. 

You found yourself crawling into his side of the bed and nuzzling into his pillow. Sometimes it was nice to have the bed to yourself, but there were mornings like this when you wished that he was here and you two could just talk nonsense until you fell asleep. 

Just a few hours of sleep and then you’d get back to work...

You felt something nudge you, and your eyes opened just slightly. There was something, no someone, in front of you. You hoped it was Eddie. It probably was. He said something. You mumbled something nonsensical in return and closed your eyes again. 

There was another nudge and this time you could only lift your hand slightly and let it flop down like a dead fish. 

It was quiet for a long while after that. You finally opened your eyes and saw... nothing. Shit, you slept longer than you meant to. If it was this dark then that meant that it was night time now and Eddie was probably already at the studio again doing who-knows-what.

You peeled yourself off the bed and sat there, trying to reorient yourself. You loved your job, but the sleep schedule had been hard to manage, especially as the days grew shorter and you saw the sun less during the day. 

After counting to three, you pushed yourself off the bed. You’d make yourself something to eat, and probably spend all night watching Halloween movies until Eddie came home. 

When you stepped out of the bedroom, you heard music. Your eyes adjusted to the lights that had been turned on and you were soon standing in the living room, stunned. 

Your Halloween decorations had been put up, well most of them. You could smell pizza, and there was a record playing- your favorite one. 

“Morning.” Eddie said as he stepped out of the kitchen and gave you a kiss on the cheek. 

“Eddie you- what are you doing here?” you asked, staring at him as if you couldn’t believe he was really standing in front of you. 

“It’s your birthday?” Eddie said, as if he were the one that was confused now. “I told Paige I’m taking the next few days off.” 

It was your birthday. You had barely remembered your own birthday, and so hadn’t expected Eddie to either. 

“Oh shit, what’s wrong?” Eddie asked in a panic, his eyes going wide. “Did I get the wrong date?”

You shook your head quickly, feeling something wet on your cheek. Oh, you might have been tearing up just slightly. Left Turn Studios had been running you so deep into the ground you hadn’t even realized how exhausted you were. 

“No! No, you didn’t. It’s my birthday.” you said, taking his hand. “I just... I had almost forgotten myself and didn’t expect...”

Eddie squeezed your hand. “I know we’ve been working a lot.” he said. “Paige said things will slow down after Halloween for a while and I’ll have more free time. I just.. I missed you. I know I’m still new to the whole ‘being a boyfriend’ thing, but I wasn’t about to leave you alone on your birthday.” 

You were sat on the couch now, and Eddie pointed at you dramatically. “Hear me now” he pointed at you. “For tonight, I am at your complete command. This humble bard will be your personal jester and do whatever you ask.” 

You broke out into a fit of giggles. “Could you do the dishes?” 

Eddie’s chest puffed up and he gave you a proud smile. “Already done.” 

“Shit, you’re good.” you sighed, starting to feel better already. 

There was a buzzing noise coming from the kitchen and Eddie quickly jumped in. A steaming hot pizza was placed on the coffee table in front of you. “I also have some cupcakes in the fridge.” He explained. “I couldn’t remember if you liked chocolate or vanilla more so I just got both-”

“Keep talking like this and I’m promoting you from jester to wife, Eddie.” you threatened, giving him a kiss before digging into the pizza. 

“Would that make me your queen?” he asked, sitting next to you with his own slice. 

“No, I’m still queen. I think there’s a bunch of weird rules about that and if we got married you’d be Queen consort or something.” 

“Doesn’t that just mean I’d be the Queen's slut?”

“You’re thinking concubine, probably.” 

“...Can I be that instead?” 

You nearly choked on your pizza with laughter, feeling lighter than you had in days. “Yeah, sure. I’ll promote you from bard to slut if you keep being nice to me. Wait, aren’t bards known for being that way anyway?”

Eddie looked at you in mock-offense. “You dare suggest that I, Eddie Munson, humble bard, would sleep my way to the top? That I could not wed you on charm and love alone and that I would sell my body?” 

“....Isn’t your current band manager your ex?”

His jaw dropped and twisted into a face that had you falling back on the couch, laughing with tears in your eyes. 

“That’s not- that.. No, that was- I’m- We’re-” he sputtered, unable to hold back his own laughter. “Shit, maybe I am a slut.” 

“As long as you’re only a slut for me, that’s fine.” You leaned over and kissed him, still feeling those butterflies in your stomach as he kissed you back, setting his own pizza aside. 

A while later, Eddie was cleaning you both up as you lay naked on the couch. You reached out to get some post-sex cuddling but he jumped up suddenly as if he remembered something. He cursed and ran into the kitchen. 

You sat up, amused as you saw his naked ass disappear and reappear moments later with the tray of cupcakes, a few sporting lit candles. 

“Eddie, my love, you are naked and handling fire.” you said, looking him up and down in amusement. 

“What would I not do to entertain?” he replied before launching into Happy Birthday. 

You took a deep breath and blew out the candles. 

“I meant to do this before sex, but...”

“We’re not exactly good at going in order.” you finished, grabbing a cupcake with heaps of pumpkin-orange frosting. 

It was well past midnight when half of the cupcakes were gone, and you and Eddie were laying on your cramped couch with him as the big spoon. You two would probably regret it in the morning, but right now there was nowhere else you’d rather be. 

The two of you watched as Pamala Voorhees revealed herself as the killer and you played with the rings on Eddie’s fingers. You could feel the rise and fall of his chest, and you knew that in a few minutes his arm that you were laying on would fall asleep. 

“Happy birthday.” Eddie mumbled, his grip tightening around you. “I love you.” 

You pulled his hand up and kissed his fingers softly. 

Last year, you and Steve had a deal to wingman for each other to help you both get dates. In the end, Steve only managed to help you get one date but that date led you to finding everything you could have ever wanted. 

“I love you too, Eddie.” 

Tag List @k8loo @terrormonster55 @sp1dyb0y1008 @crocwork-clockodile @ali-r3n

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[kinardsevan]

I wanna see both 4 and 6 but my first choice is 4

Tommy is pissed. He and Evan had plans to spend a week off in Florida, hitting up all the parks at Disney World. The tickets have been bought, the bags are packed, and they’re supposed to be leaving in twenty-four hours. 

Which is why he can’t understand why Eddie called him from the ER. 

Last he’d heard from his boyfriend and their mutual best friend, they’d been planning to take a bike ride through the park. Evan just got a new mountain bike that he’s been using pretty regularly on his days off. Tommy has joined him on several of the rides,  but he’d been finishing up a 12 that he’d picked up off of one of his coworkers to help add to their vacation fund. 

When he walks into the trauma bay, Evan is on the gurney and Eddie seated in the chair beside him, arms crossed. 

“What in the fuck happened,” he asks, taking in Evan’s obvious injuries. He’s managed to scrape up half his face, there’s a nasty cut on his knee that probably needs stitches, and Evan is holding his left arm pretty tightly to his body in a way that has Tommy thinking it’s probably pretty injured. Eddie isn’t unscathed either; he has scrape on both calves and forearms, but he’s far less beat up than Evan is. 

“We were just fucking around and finding out,” Evan replies, keeping his gaze low. “And we ended up finding out a little too hard.” 

Eddie snorts. 

“Evan.” 

“He went over this thing that looked like a half-pipe,” Eddie states. 

“Edmundo!” Evan whines. Tommy glares at him. 

“Which one of you is in the hospital bed right now, Evan,” he chides. The blonde flinches at the statement. 

“Anyway,” Eddie continues. “Turns out it was a wall, not a halfpipe.” 

Tommy’s gaze zeroes in entirely on Evan than. 

“What in the actual fuck?” He asks. He’s laughing, and he’s not even sure why, because he’s definitely not amused. “Baby,” he comments incredulously. 

Evan presses his lips together in a thin line, eyes darting back and forth away from both Eddie and Tommy’s gaze. 

“Oops?” he finally comments after a silence that’s drug on far too long. 

Tommy just shakes his head, and he laughs again, mostly because he both can’t and can believe this is the life he signed up for when he and Evan started dating exclusively eight months ago. 

“You’re an absolute shit head,” he tells him, crossing the room and perching on the bed, resting a hand on Evan’s thigh, away from the blood. “And you’re lucky I love you.” 

Evan blushes then, looks up at him, a small smile on his face. “Still?” 

Tommy tilts his head at him. “Yes, still.” 

Eddie gags obnoxiously then, pushing himself up from his chair. 

“I’m gonna go find the vending machines,” he states. “Let me know when we’re leaving.” 

He walks out of the room, leaving Evan and Tommy alone. Tommy shifts into the empty chair, leans his head against his hand with his elbow on the arm of the chair. 

“So what’s the worst of it,” he asks. Evan gets that inconspicuous look on his face again, looks away. He scrunches his face, like he’s trying to make less of the moment. 

“Just a small, minor…dislocation.” 

Tommy groans then, dropping his head back on the chair. After a beat, he lifts it back up, looking over at his boyfriend. 

“Still going to Disney World tomorrow?” He asks. 

Evan grins. “Oh fuck yes. Try and stop me.” 

[sunshine-theseus]

Put Your Head On My Shoulder | Jessie Fleming x Reader

Words: 4k Summary: you and jessie go through many ups and downs but things work out in the end Warnings: angst, fluff, mentions of depression and taking medication for it, covid didn’t happen, pretending the game vs real madrid was at Stamford bridge not in Spain

Jessie Fleming and I met at the 2015 world cup, both freshly 17 and competing in our first big tournament. Despite the fact we didn’t play each other, I found myself stumbling into her on the sidelines of Canada’s game against The Netherlands. Words were exchanged but we didn’t see each other again until the next year.

We knew we were both on athletic scholarships for the Bruins at UCLA and promised to try and meet outside of training to keep in contact without sport. It was surprising however, when my box was knocked out of my hands as I crashed into the young Canadian, both of us trying to enter the same room. She was clearly struggling to see over her own stuff, stumbling over words as her cheeks flush a very familiar red, trying to apologise.

“J, if you say sorry one more time I’m asking for a new roommate. Which I had no idea we were until now.” I crouch to pick up my books and writing equipment that was in my box as Jessie tries to manoeuvre to her decided side of the room.

I give up and rush to help her when she stumbles over her own foot and nearly goes flying.

“Jessie! You’re going to break something before the season even starts Jesus Christ be careful!” my hands gripped her waist tightly to stop her from tilting forward, then I grab the top box so she can actually see. The same red blush covers her cheeks.

“Sorry, my mum just insisted I try to take all my stuff in as little trips as possible, which is proving to be difficult. I’m sorry about your books.” With her stuff firmly on the ground she finally looks as me.

“They put the Australian and the Canadian in the same room knowing we just basically kicked you out of the Olympics?”

“You did not!” the joke was rare coming from her. She was funny and kind but still rather serious and shy, preferring studying statistics and players over team bonding or spending time with people after a game.

I understood that, I felt that, and that’s how we worked. Us against the world. We trusted our team and confided in them, but we’d really only want each other in times of need. Obviously there were people like Sam or Christine, who were like our big sisters for our respective national teams, but Jessie and I were just drawn to each other.

-

After UCLA came Chelsea. Both of us were about to start our last year of uni when her offer came through, far before mine.

By this point we’d been inseparable for four years, so I worried we’d be split; her making the move to England and me stuck in our dorm. Except it’d be much emptier and lonely, or filled with some stranger’s things.

And it was just like that. Time zones caused issues with keeping in contact. Eventually that became other things. Study, because she still had to finish her course. Team bonding, practice. What would be a call once a day became once a week until it filtered out, and her texts would be answered in seconds while mine sat in wait for whenever she decided she was free.

My offer came in the January transfer window. Emma had been in contact with me for a couple months, clearly trying to convince me, and 6 months ago I wouldn’t have even thought about it. But when I stare at the ‘merry Christmas’ and ‘I got the offer’ messages left unread and think about seeing the girl I thought would never leave me, I take the time offered.

And a week later I find myself sliding into Sam’s spare room groaning into the pillow as she fusses over the Australian snacks I did manage to get through customs.

“What’s got you in a mood chickadee?” I feel the bed dip beside me and her hand rubs my back.

“J.” the older Australian lets out a hum before taking a moment to reply.

“She talks about you all the time. About how much she misses you and everything you got up to at uni. All of which I already know because I hear it every camp.” I can feel the joking eye roll despite not seeing it.

“She talks about me but doesn’t talk to me. That means nothing. And I know she’s busy but so was I. Just because I was captaining a university team instead a stupid professional team doesn’t mean I wasn’t busy or doing something important! And I still kept in contact!” by now I’ve rolled over onto my back and started fiddling with Sam’s tattooed fingers, trying to distract myself from the pit of loneliness and despair that’s been slowly eating my stomach.

I dare not mention to anyone the decline in my mental health or the required psychology sessions Emma was going to provide for me once every few weeks. Everyone knew I was sad and that’s all they needed to know. But once upon a time, Jessie would have known everything, holding my hand tightly the whole way.

“You should sleep, big first day tomorrow. I’ll make you breakfast. Alarm-”

“8:30, I know. Every day, same time. Thank you Sam, really.” She smiles and pats my head before leaving.

-

To say my first day didn’t go well would be somewhat of an understatement. At exactly 8:30 my alarm went off. At 8:32, the pill bottle rattling at the bottom of my bag was fished out and 1 was being washed down by water. At 8:43, Sam was banging on my door calling for breakfast and I was rushing to make sure the pill bottle was hidden after changing. No one needs to know I’m taking anti-depressants, including Sam.

When we pulled into Cobham, I started to feel sick, and I told Sam just that.

“I’ll catch a train home.”

“It’s just nerves, you’ll be fine.”

“No-”

“You stay until at least lunch time, then we’ll see.” A pointed finger is shoved into my face, but I begin to stroll alongside her anyway.

I do almost book it for the nearest train station as soon as I enter the locker room. Sitting in the cubby next to mine, tying her shoelaces, is Jessie Fleming. During the chaos of the move and my first day, I manage to forget the way our numbers are right beside each other.

“You’ll be okay. You don’t even have to talk to her.” Sam whispers as she makes her way to her own cubby, greeting people on her way through.

So I try. Placing my bag in the nook and beginning to change into my training kit without the Canadian even looking up. It’s when I place down the same styled Tiempo Legend 8s I’ve been wearing since they released, that I can see her head turn from the corner of my eye. I don’t acknowledge it, continuing to slide the boots onto my feet and tie them up. But that doesn’t stop her.

“Oh my god! Hey!” there’s a lightness in her voice that I used to be so familiar with and it makes my heart clench.

I take a moment before deciding replying would be too rude for my liking.

“Hi.” Short and simple, and quite blunt.

“I didn’t know you signed, or that you even got the offe-” forget being nice.

“You would’ve known if you bothered to keep in contact with me.” With that I slide out of my seat beside her and make my way to Sam.

-

It gets worse when Emma splits us into pairs for dribbling drills, and she slides me toward Jessie.

“Of course.” I sigh but accept my fate as a ball rolls our way.

“What’s wrong?” a phrase that, coming from her mouth, used to have me spilling every small emotion I was feeling.

“Doesn’t matter.”

“Come on Beans, tell me.” The nickname had been created in our first year of university. She learnt I loved green beans and I’m rather tall, so the name fit. But she didn’t feel like the same person who I let make the funny name.

“You don’t get to call me that anymore.”

“What? Because I moved?”

“No! You left for Chelsea and I was happy for you, we had a plan to stay in contact until I followed along to somewhere in England. But you stopped trying. You stopped answering. You left me alone when I needed you the most. I would’ve done anything for you to have the career you deserved but you got it, without me. I just thought I’d still have my best friend when it happened.”

To say that training was tense from then on wasn’t a stretch. Emma never paired us up and any time one of us entered the locker room, everyone else would wait in silence for a burst similar to the one on the pitch. It never came.

It was after my first session with the psychologist that things began to change.

Because the psych was only here for me, Emma was kind to lend her office to us for the 50 minutes while she did other work around the grounds. I assume the girls were grateful to escape the tension for the moment.

“Same time, 2 weeks from now! It’s good you’re making progress!” The rather lovely lady shouts just as I’m closing the door, waving and smiling in thanks.

But as I turn around, I nearly bump into a small figure. A rather familiar one at that. Jessie begins to fall backwards but I grip her waist, holding her in place. It’s a familiar scenario, the feeling of my hands on her waist and her burning red cheeks are something I struggled to ever forget.

“T-thanks” her cheeks burn that same red.

“No worries.” I mumble in reply as I remove my hands, taking a step back.

“Who were you talking to? That didn’t sound like Emma. And what are you making progress on?” the questions don’t come rapidly but I still struggle to process them. Jessie’s smart, she can put two and two together, so I should tell her. But what if she laughs? There was a time where the thought wouldn’t have even crossed my mind, she’s not that type of girl. But things change.

“I- I-” Jessie places a gentle hand on my arm and nods, confirming it’s okay to take my time, but please continue. I sigh.

“She’s a psychologist.”

“A sport psychologist?”

“Well yes and no. I… I’ve been diagnosed with depression, and Emma wants me to have someone professional to talk to.” Her grip tightens but I know it’s in concern.

“When- when did you…”

“A couple months ago. Don’t worry, it wasn’t just because of you, a lot of things happened.”

“But it was partially because of me. I wasn’t there for you when I should’ve been. You’ve always been there for me and I got here and treated you like shit. Discarded you like you were nothing. I’m sorry, I’m so sorry.” tears well up in her whisky brown eyes, but I smile.

“J, if you say sorry one more time, I’m asking for a new roommate for the away match against Man City. Which I did know we are… for once.”

“You can’t just forgive me.”

“I’m not, it’ll take time, but I want my best friend back. Sprout.” Jessie charges forward and wraps her arms around my waist.

“I’d do anything.” Her voice is muffled as her head presses into my chest, but I smile.

~~~~~

Things changed once again a few months after that. The 2020 Olympics had been delayed due to natural disasters, but we still found ourselves milling around the Olympic village together in our very little spare time. I also found myself admiring her for every little thing, every detail. Eventually I had to admit to myself that I’d developed a crush on the girl.

“What’s going on in that busy brain of yours?” Jessie had been by my side every step of the way with my mental health after she found out, and this question wasn’t uncommon, but the answer would be.

“I know this could ruin things, I’m very aware of that, but I have to tell you now otherwise I don’t think I’ll ever have the courage to.” Gaging her reaction was difficult, Jessie was a very stoic person.

“I-, I’ve found myself growing feelings for you. Feelings that surpass best friends, or how I feel when you show up for me. I like you, a lot. And I need you to know that. Standing in the middle of a pathway surrounded by half naked athletes in Olympic Village, I like you.” I look her in the eyes. Those burnt umber eyes, so warm and comforting, that always draw me in.

“I really like you too. Everything about you. I want to care for you and be there when you need me. I want to wake up in your arms and be able to admire every feature as the sun beams down on you like the miracle you are. I would even go as far as saying I desperately want to be your girlfriend.” I barely let Jessie finish what she’s saying before I lean down, a significant way, and kiss her with everything in me.

~~~~~

2 and a half years later and Jessie hasn’t left my side since. Most of our quarrels are just that, silly fights that are solved by the end of the night. We moved in together after 3 months and were rarely been seen apart.

That included tough games.

Real Madrid was our first game of the Champion’s League season, and we knew it was going to be hard. They were physical most importantly, so we had to play to that. We knew that when we were up 2-1 in the 78th minute.

“Jessie Fleming challenges Athenea Del Castillo, barley missing the ball and clipping Athenea on the foot! Oh, and the ref is calling for a penalty. I’m certain first contact was outside the box.” Is what would be heard by anyone watching the match through a screen, but you didn’t need a commentator to know the ref made an unfair call.

The contact was clearly outside the box and yet we’re forced to line up and watch Olga Carmona take the wrongly rewarded shot, me grasping Jessie’s hand in my own as a way to reassure her.

It’s obvious the referees are against us when Niamh makes a shot on goal, the ball sliding in, but it’s claimed offside. Something to do with Sam supposedly messing with the defence, another false claim. There’s nothing we can do when the final whistle blows and we’re tied, all of us dropping to the ground in exhaustion and disappointment.

After shaking hands with the Madrid players and briefly talking with Hayley to catch up and talk about things that happened between our last camp and now, I travel toward Jessie.

My girlfriend stands solemnly with her head in her hands. I managed to pull them away momentarily to see the tears drifting down her cheeks, but she’s pulling her hands away and turning around before I can ask what’s wrong.

“Darl, it’s not you’re fault.” I don’t want to invade her space while she’s upset so I walk around her and simply stand, hoping she’ll reach for me.

“I don’t want to talk about it.”

“Jess-”

“Leave me alone Y/n.” not another word is uttered as she turns toward Fran and Niamh and walks away from me.

I similarly turn to Sam and Erin, with a shocked look, jaw hanging and rejected tears looming on my water line.

“She probably just needs to be alone.” As Erin tries to comfort me, we all turn to look at the subject of the conversation, only to see her being comforted by Fran, Niamh and Ashley, despite her effort to insist she’s fine.

“Maybe I didn’t push hard enough?”

“No you should never push when they clearly need space.” Sam places a reassuring hand on my shoulder

“But why is it only me she needs space from? I’m supposed to be the one she seeks comfort in. That’s what girlfriends do.”

“I don’t know chickadee.”

-

I expect Jessie to already be back at our apartment by the time Erin drops me off. Our shared car had been taken from the parking lot at the stadium and Jessie had disappeared, so those dots connected themselves. But our designated parking space is empty as I stroll along the bitumen.

There are no familiar white shoes next to the door in the same exact spot she puts them every day, no kit bag hanging on a hook, waiting to be washed tomorrow. No Canadian waiting in our bed, curled up in one of my already oversized shirts or hoodies and shorts, begging me to hold her.

I try not to worry when I call her and she doesn’t pick up. Maybe she went the long way and there was traffic? So I call Niamh to ask her if she knows where Jessie went. She doesn’t have an answer. Then I try Fran, and Zecira, and even Emma.

I ask everyone to try and call her too, Sam offering to take Kristie and search every corner of London, Erin offering the same. It’s midnight by the time I give up trying to contact her, asking Aggie if I could borrow her car tomorrow to look around if she wasn’t back, her living down the road from us. The young forward is insistent on joining me if it comes to it.

When I wake up the next morning and find Jessie curled up against me, in one of my hoodies and shorts, relief washes over me. Her brown curls are messy, her soft pink lips cracked open to allow air into her lungs. The sun trickles in through the curtain and lights up her face, freckles looking like bursts of light against her skin. Her eyes are still puffy from last night and tears have dried upon her cheeks, and I can’t resist the urge to reach up and lightly wipe them away.

As my thumb drags across her tan skin, tracing her face, her eyes flutter open, and I remember how easy it is to get lost in them. So warm and inviting.

“Mornin’ honey.” I press a gentle kiss to her nose, her cheeks, her forehead and her eyelids.

“I’m sorry for last night. I just felt horrible, if only I didn’t make the tackle.”

“I know darl, but that’s what I’m here for. I love you, there’s nothing I wouldn’t do for you yeah? I was bloody worried though.” Jessie nestles her head into the crook of my neck and nods, pressing her own kisses on any skin she could reach.

I wrap my arms around her and pull her up until she’s laying on my chest instead. My cold hands sneak under her hoodie and she jumps from the shock, swatting at my hands beneath the fabric.

“I reckon I make us some tea and brekkie and then we can do whatever you want all day. How’s that sound?” I flip us over so Jessie can go back to sleep for a while, but she clings onto me, pulling me down aggressively by the front of my old Chelsea travel shirt. Her lips press against mine with energy and love and I get caught up in the feeling. A moan slips past someone’s lips, which of us I’m not quite sure, but I slowly pull away, trailing kisses down her neck until I reach her collar bone.

“Let’s save that energy for later yeah?” I swiftly wink as I finally roll off the bed.

-

I’m making scrambled eggs when I feel Jessie’s arms wrap around my waist. She presses soft kisses across my back as I sway us back and forth to the slow jazz song spewing from the record player.

The next song comes on and I abandon the meal completely, turning off the stove and twisting myself in Jessie’s hold so I can face her. I take one of her hands in mine and rest the other on her waist, her spare landing on my shoulder.

“Put your head on my shoulder; Hold me in your arms, baby” the lyrics continue as we follow along, her head resting against my chest, my chin balanced on top. We dance slowly through the kitchen, the music carrying throughout the house.

As the song finishes, I dip Jessie, leaning over her as her leg kicks out. My gaze flickers between her eyes and her lips and within seconds I’m kissing her again, still in the dip. When I pull her back up, she jumps into my arms and pulls my lips to meet hers for more, the force making me stumble back into the counter behind me.

“I want to slow dance with you around our house when we’re old and can barely kick a ball anymore. Our kids and grandkids playing around while it just feels like the two of us. Because it’s always been the two off us and I never want that to change.” Jessie whispers against my lips. My heart clenches with love as I take her in.

“Will you marry me?” The words escape both our lips almost in complete synchrony. I almost drop her, but my grip on her thighs upholds as I kiss her again, and again, until I can’t kiss her anymore.

-

“I stole this video from Y/n’s phone not long after Jessie and her broke the news of their engagement. Y/n had texted me that morning saying she wanted ideas for a ‘day in the life of a woman in love’ video she planned on making that very day, and I knew that she would have forgotten all about the phone while she and the love of her life shared a special memory together.” Sam takes a pause to look at Jessie and I, sitting side by side at the front of the room.

“What isn’t shown in the video, is the ring that was sitting in the pocket of Yn’s shorts, waiting to be place on the only hand it was made for. The ring went with her everywhere for at least a month before this cute dance proposal. Every day in training, Y/n would tell me a new plan she had come up with to ask Jessie to marry her, and I always told her ‘you should do it when the moment feels right. Don’t force it.’, as I clearly had experience with this sort of thing… And she told me that was a bunch of absolute bullshit.” Our friends and family laugh while my wife’s face drops in shock, her elbow lightly nudging my side. I let out a snicker and kiss her cheek, wiping off the lipstick residue that is left behind.

“Well it turns out I was right. As always. And I’m honoured to be standing here as a best woman in front of two of my best friends, the most amazing young players out there, two people who were made for each other; sculpted by the stars and the earth, to be in each other’s lives, celebrating that love. You’ve both overcome a lot, personally and as a couple, you deserve this love.” A tear escapes my eye as I stand to hug Sam.

“Now can the two nerds please make their way to the dance floor for their first dance?” I take Jessie’s hand in mine and pull her along.

Her suit coat is left on the back of my chair and her waistcoat is unbuttoned and she looks fucking good. Her hair rests on her shoulders and her slack pants fit perfectly around her thighs. Jessie holds part of my dress train, so we don’t trip as we hold each other in similar fashion to the day that led to this, the same song playing on the large speakers in each corner of the room.

“Put your head on my shoulder Whisper in my ear, baby Words I want to hear, tell me Tell me that you love me too”.

Jessie stands on her tippy toes, my heels not helping our height difference.

“I love you.”

“I love you too.”

[godessanonymous]

DR3 - Reminder

Request: No. Pairing: dom!daniel x bratty!reader Genre: just filthy ass smut thats all Summary: You and Daniel have been in a relationship for a while now, at a gala you decide to tease him a little, so he reminds you who you belong to ;) Warnings: use of bad language, toys, bondage, overstim, semi public sex.

Not proofread - 4.3k Words I have nothing to say for myself. This is filthy, like baaaddd but oh well hope yall enjoy.

You had started to work for Alpha Tauri about a year ago, that’s when you met Daniel Riccardo for the first time. A tall dark haired mystery of a man. You could never tell what his intentions were, mixed Signals all around. It started out with some harmless comments mostly complimenting you, then it turned into caring gestures like bringing you water after long Work hours in the paddock, getting you food when you didn’t have the time to do it yourself and at some point even driving you home. While you said you were friends neither of you could deny the tension that never actually left when you were around each other.

You had gone out to dinner a couple of times before but that was mostly with the team or just as friends. But this time it was different, Daniel had approached you after the race, he looked a lot more shy than his usual bubbly self made him seem. He politely asked whether you would like to go out with him that evening, you just looked at him confused before answering yes. His face lit up just enough for you to notice it, he said to pick you up at around 7.30 that evening and just sprinted off.

You were in your room at the hotel now, a pile of clothes stacked up on the bed from you deciding what to wear to tonight, you were still not sure, was this a date? How pretty did you have to look? After staring at yourself in the mirror for a bit you decided to go with something classic but not too over the top. You quickly did your makeup, since your outfit was simple you made your makeup look extra pretty.

Not too long after that he picked you up and took you to a cute restaurant not too far away. It was beautiful and that’s when he finally worked up the courage to talk to you about hist feelings toward you. You had to say you agreed, the way he looked at you, the way he was always so caring towards you made you slowly but surely fall for him. The night ended with a faint goodbye kiss and plans made for the next date.

All that happened around 6 months ago and Daniel had surprised you with a lot of things, but the most interesting thing was probably his preference when it came to sex. He was kinky, always down to try new things. He loved being in control. You had never done anything like that so a little hesitation came up in you when he proposed the idea of trying something new in bed. Despite feeling hesitant at first you quickly discovered how much you enjoyed his kinky fantasies, the more you tried the more things you found out turned you on extremely. Falling into submission gave you a form of freedom and forgetting about other struggles, even though you would eventually you also liked to be bratty, make him work for it. Sometimes even doing it in public just to get him worked up a little. He was insanely good at communicating what he wanted and what you were okay with, big on consent which is insanely important in these kinds of dynamics.

There came a day where you and him had attended a gala evening. A lot of influential people were there and it was a beautiful show to see all the artist and awards. You got a little bored tho, looking at the mad sitting across from you in a perfectly fitting black suit sipping on a glass of red wine. You had been throwing in little comments all evening, not listening to him and doing your little thing.

The show finished and you decided to go to the club/bar area for a bit and have another drink before going home. So you walked over to him. “ ill head over to the bar for a bit, tag along or come get me when you are ready love.” You whispered in his ear, he looked at you with his big brown eyes. “Sure, maybe ill come over later, just behave please.” You just smirked at him and walked away, Kika and Charlotte right by your side.

The bar was amazing, the drinks were too good not to drink  more and soon you got a little too excited and hit the dance floor with Kika. Soon someone stole you from Kika and an arm snaked around your waist, you didn’t recognize the man that was suddenly taking up your view but you certainly didn’t mind it. You decided to hit him with the “ I’m taken” right from the start. He just chuckled at responded “Don’t worry, I just wanna dance, my friends are making me feel single.” Nodding his head in the direction of a pair dancing. You chuckled and decided to go with it, making Danny just a tiny bit jealous would surely lead towards a pleasurable night for the both of you right?

The guy was nice but once you spotted Daniels eyes basically piercing through your body you said goodbye and returned to the bar to order another light drink. You were a little drunk but not too much to lose control. You chatted with a guy sitting next to you a little bit before an arm draping over your shoulder made you look up into the face of a fired up Daniel. “Lets go home, looks like someone needs to be reminded who she belongs to.” He hissed into her ear just loud enough for her to hear it. Her heartbeat fastened and she awkwardly excused herself from the bar. Daniel was holding onto her waist tightly as they made their way through the crowd of dancing and chatting people.

He had called a uber and roughly pushed you down in the black seats of the car when it arrived. Once on the way to your destination you decided to throw caution to the wind and placed you hand on his thigh, slowly moving your way up. His big hand enclosed around yours and lifted it of his leg. “Oh love don’t do that, you’ve been working me up all night, hope you are ready for what is waiting for you. I’ll have you begging soon enough.” He said quietly and it made your heart jump in excitement.

The door clicked shut behind you and it took less than a second for his hands to grab your wrists and pin them above your head. Your breathing started to speed up as his body pressed you flush against the wall and his breath lightly caressing over the delicate skin of your neck. “You have no idea how much trouble you’re in pretty…” he said as his teeth sink into the skin of your neck. “What… I was having fun, nothing happened, I had a great time. Why should I be in trouble?” you asked innocently. He let go of your hands, one moving to your throat and one to your ass instead. He put just the slightest amount of pressure around your air way. A breathy whisper: “you know exactly what you did baby, you wanted this, so game on let’s see how long you can keep that attitude up little lady.” Shivers of anticipation ran down your spine. Hand still on your neck he slowly guided you towards the bed. He gently placed you in the middle of it. “Stay where you are. Clothes off.” Is all he said before he disappeared into the walk in closet to retrieve some goods for the night.

You decided to comply to a certain extent, dress off but the lacy underwear staying on your body as you moved under the blankets covering up your half naked body, acting like you were gonna sleep. It took a second before he returned, a box in hand. Seeing you didn’t follow his commands made a little fire light inside of him, he shot forward pulling the blankets off you before deciding you were not anywhere close to behaved tonight. Quickly grabbing your wrists cuffing them to the a bedpost rendering your hands unable to do anything. Daniel stood back up admiring your body laying on the perfectly white bedsheets. “So, since you seem to want it so bad, lets have some fun. But firstly color baby.” “Green”, “Game on the love.”

The tall Aussie settled between your legs, hand on your  lower stomach to stop you from moving under his touch. He began trailing kisses down your body, hands following with the lightest touch.

You were already starting to get desperate for him feeling the stubs of his short beard rub against your skin. Trying to spur him on a bit you stuck out your chest a bit, he chuckled, finally moving on of his hands to slowly massage your breast making a soft moan escape your lips. “Already turned on huh love” he said stopping right above your belly button just hovering there for a second before moving up the length of your body in one quick motion. One hand lingered on your throat the other was now drawing small circles up your thighs.  His lips crashed into yours dominantly making you gasp for air every chance you got. Daniel used the opportunity to enter her mouth with his tongue eagerly exploring it. You spilled a small moan into him has his hand moved over where you needed him most. Light fingers stopping on your clit, slightly pressing down, just enough to make you need some friction badly. The position didn’t allow you to do so, your lips escaped a tiny whimper. His weight lifted off your body as he sat up and dragged your pretty red panties down your legs. They flew somewhere to the ground next to the bed. The driver dragged a finger through your wet folds making you squirm. “Already all wet for me? So easy…” he murmured, wetting his finger and suddenly pushing it inside of you. His grip on your hips was impossible to move against holding you down. Quickly followed a second finder and you could already feel the knot in your core starting to build as he started moving painfully slow, curling his digits in just the right places. Your legs wrapped around his waist trying to relive some of the pressure you felt. A soft “Please” escaped your lips. “We have barely even started yet and you are already a whimpering mess, for that big attitude its surprisingly easy to have you in shambles don’t you think?” He responded with a grin on his face, you were slowly getting closer to the edge. That’s when he pulled out, you whining at the sudden loss of sensation. The weight on the bed shifted as the Aussies reached over to the box still resting on the bedside table and pulled out something you couldn’t quite identify, It looked like a bullet but it was a little too big for the ones you had seen and used before. He didn’t waste any time as he took the small vibrator and pressed it into you, it had a weird shape, one side resting fairly deep inside of you the other moving up around to your clit in a u-shape. Its small nature making it easy to slide in, yet it still took you off guard feeling it.

Danny held up a remote and smiled as he pressed a button making the device come to life. You gasp, it felt so good stimulating two spots at the same time. The Pleasure was insane. You were close again quickly not being able to form a coherent thought. As you were just about to release the buzzing stopped, making you let out a frustrated groan. Meanwhile Daniel got off the bed and freed your hands from the cuffs, keeping them together. He tossed a pair of sweatpants and a hoodie in your direction. You were confused what on earth was he planning on doing. “Get dressed. We are going on a walk.” As it slowly dawned on you, your punishment was not getting to come, you hated it so much. His dark eyes looked at you warningly as you reached between your legs. “leave it where it is” Your eyes widened. Hesitantly you got up and put on the clothes he had tossed your way.

He lead you to the elevator and down onto the sidewalk of the road along your building. It was almost 12AM on a week day so no one was around this area anymore. You could still feel the u shaped vibe between your legs and you started walking, Daniel didn’t say anything so you just followed him. After a couple of meters he finally started talking. “So I have a challenge for you hun. We are going to take a walk and ill have some fun with our little friend here, if you manage to keep walking and not be loud maybe ill rethink my decision on not letting you finish today.” He smirked. “Color baby” “Green”.

He started on the lowest setting, it was pleasant, stimulating but nowhere near strong enough for you, every corner you passed he went up a level. At level 4 is when it started to be a challenge, the constant friction of your walking and the vibration between your legs making it hard to not atleast breath heavier. You knew he route the two of you were walking in the cold breeze, you’d do this a lot when you were in need of fresh air, it wasn’t long but you still had a good bit to go when the knot started to build in the middle of your core. Reaching level six you were struggling to keep up with Daniels Pace, desperately clinging to his arm as you passed another corner, you only had 2 to go, your breathing got heavier and Daniel gave you a challenging look as you gripped his arm even tighter as the pressure increased. You were approaching the door of the building as you felt your legs starting to give out. You bit your bottom lip trying not to make any noise. Daniel just watched you enjoying your struggle. Your nails dug into his skin as you reached the door, letting out a heavy sigh once you were inside. “Good Girl.” He whispered into your ear and you couldn’t help but feel proud that you had managed. Or so you thought. The buzzing hadn’t stopped. It just went down to a pleasant humming, not allowing you to get any further in your need to finish.

The ride up to the apartment was quiet, too quiet. He pushed the door open and closed in a quick motion hungrily biting marks into your shoulder as he pushed you onto the bed, stripping your clothes of in the process. “Time to teach you manners kitten.” He said reaching for you arms and you could feel the semi soft rope slowly tighten around them as he started to form a harness around your entire body. You wanted to move, be bratty but you were too deep into submission already to stop him from doing what he does best. Hands locked in place behind your back, legs spread and secured by a rope connecting to your back you were unable to move anymore, enjoying the feeling of anticipation of what he would do next.

He rid himself of his shirt, you admired the muscles of his chest in awe. The wonderful sight was soon taken from you as a blindfold slipped over your eyes, vision going black. “Before I go on with making you regret being bratty, do you remember your safe word love?” He asked with a beautiful gentleness in his voice. You nodded. “I need you to say it.” “Tulips” “Good Girl.”

You heard the box moving and the U Toy leaving your body in the same second, you were about to protest when the emptiness was replaced by a lubed up dildo pressing into  your middle. You couldn’t hold the loud moan escaping your lips as he pushed it in inch by inch. You wondered how big it was, you couldn’t see it so you never saw it coming when it started vibrating making you scream in surprise. It had bottomed out by now, hitting everything deep inside your core. Moving it a little bit Daniel started to kiss your tense body all over, you were trying to move with the pressure getting too much but your restrains simply didn’t allow you to. Daniel moved to your breasts starting to suck on one of your nipples, you whimpered at the pleasure spreading through your body. “Danny- Please… please can I come.” That’s when the buzzing stopped and he pulled of your chest. You let out a whine. “You know the rules, only good girls get to come. Why don’t you apologize for your actions first.” The toy came to life again and you let out a scream. You tried to form words but couldn’t get them out. “Use your words.” He said teasingly, turning his attention back to your boobs. “im- i- Im sorry okay Danny, I wanted to make you jealous-“ is all you could say before the pleasure took your ability to speak again. “Is that so?” You were one second away from falling over the edge when he pulled completely off of you. “UGRH you dick I was so close.” “I know, but I have to finish preparing you properly, don’t I? And don’t give me that attitude if you expect to finish today.” He said, his voice dropping and the tone not leaving any room for argument. You swallowed heavily. You were so desperate.

His hands moved down your body once again as he loosened the knots around you ankles giving you a little bit of your freedom back. He rolled you over onto your stomach placing a pillow below your hips to make it a little bit more comfortable for you. Knees pressed open to your sides Dann had perfect sight of your third hole. Instead of working something in like you thought he would you screamed at the stinging sensation as his hand lands flat against your ass. You screamed, Tears pooling in your eyes. “One..” SLAP “two” … “Ten.”

By the time he was done you were a sobbing mess, the pain feeling equally as bad as good. His rough hand slowly moved across your sore cheeks making you whine even more. “You took that so well. I think its time to move on to something more fun.” He said, sliding a finder up and down your middle.

You already new it was coming, but you still jumped at the sudden sensation of the metal plug against your slit. Moving up and resting on your asshole. It was a little bit cold but you liked that as a contrast to your burning, sweaty body. “Do you think you can do it?” Daniel asked. “Yes Sir, I can.” You answered now fully committing, no more games. He pulled the blind fold off your eyes, squinting trying to ajust to the half lit room. “I want you to look at me while I work it in.” he said  already massaging the tip of it in. You forced your eyes to stay open and on the gorgeous man behind you. He had pulled his shorts down along with the boxers and you could see his hard length as he stroked it while working the plug at the same time. He took it slow, the stretch burning impossibly hard as he slowly made his way in. A loud moan escapes your lips as it slides home the big of it resting inside you now. Daniel whispers a quiet fuuccckk before sliding the dildo back inside you moving it in and out at a good speed now. You moaned his name as the fake dick pushed against the metal in your ass with every time it slipped in. The vibrations jumped to a all time high and pleasure got almost to much to take. “Danny please can I cum?”

 “you know what mouse, ill give you a choice, either you stand your punishment like this and get to cum once later, or ill let you come but ruin you till you cant come anymore. Hm? Take your pick, you’re gonna be a mess in the end anyway.” He said, knowing both options were going to be torture in the best way for you. You couldn’t even get your mouth to open and Daniel to decide for you as he slammed the toy in all the way. Making you come on the spot, it was the hardest you ever released. You screamed his name in pleasure and you body wanted to move so bad but the firm hand on your ass and the rope around you body kept you from doing so. The high of our O made your mind foggy and make you feel floaty. The male didn’t stop moving, he worked out all the way through the orgasm making you moan even louder with the overwhelming sensitivity of your body. He slowed down for a second as you began to come down from your high. “How many do you think I can pull out of you today? Lets do 4 more shall we?” That is when you realized what you had gotten yourself into, if they were all this intense you wouldn’t make it past number 2 without passing out.

He loosened the rope and it fell of your body as he rolled you back on your stomach. “Stand up.” He commanded, you gave your best to comply standing on shaky legs. You still had strength but the slight aftershocks of your orgasm where still rocking through you. He sat on the side of the bed and tapped on his thigh signaling you to sit down. You comply glad not having to stand anymore. “You wanna cum kitty, go ahead, get of on my thigh then.” He said, looking at your desperate eyes. Slowly you start to move against him, his flexed thigh muscles giving you the perfect pressure against your clit.

You were breathing heavy , trying to get enough air in your lungs to recover after your forth orgasm of the day. Quiet pleas falling from your lips. “I need you Danny” you whispered. “You will get me love, I cant wait any longer. Color?” “green” you pant, you were a mess, body hurting impossibly but the pleasure was bigger than your urge to rest. You needed him inside of you. He wanted to come as well. Not wanting to wait any more he fished a condom out the box and covered his hard cock with it. Back on your stomach he moved one of your knees over his shoulder basically folding you. Without further waiting he slipped inside of you, despite all the preparation of today he still stretched her far, he finally bottomed out and slowly started to pick up pace the angle making the feeling of him even more intense, he was rough, demanding and you could feel he was close. His fingers found your already overstimulated clit and started drawing slow circles around it, you were so close again and you felt him twitching as well. “please Danny, I need to come” you panted not sure how long you could hold on anymore. “Beg for it love, beg.” He said, even though he was impossibly close as well. You looked at him with foggy eyes, “please Daniel, ill be good- please- I need you-“ You whimpered. “together…fuck” he moaned realizing he cant put it off any longer as your walls clenched around him and he combusted shortly after, both your bodies shaking. “Oh my baby I love you.” You said as your body started to slowly come down from the overwhelming last high that left you almost light headed. Your body went limp.

He pulled out of you panting heavily. Before you could fall limp against the pillows he flipped you over and swiftly and painlessly as possible pulled out the plug that had rested there for the night. It hurt but not bad, you felt empty without the toys in you. but you appreciated the calm As you rested against his sweaty chest. You stayed like this for a couple of minutes until he got up grabbing two towel from the bathroom as well as a bottle of water. He returned to bed starting to clean you up, even the soft touch of the towel making you squirm a bit. “You did so well love, well done.” As he cleaned you up and lifted the water to your lips while cleaning himself up. You were thankful for the cool liquid making your throat feel so much better. You passed it back to him as he got up again and quickly washed off the toys before returning back to bed. Your mind was still all foggy and with the little you had left in you, you moved closer to him, his arms closing around you protectively while he whispered praises in your ear. Kissing you softly. After he noticed you returned to reality a little bit more he asked how you were doing, you just smiled at him and said “that was amazing dan, so Great but everything hurts” He couldn’t help but laugh a little. “Yeah that’s the point. Are you gonna behave now?” You shook your head and both laughed. His hand was stroking your hair and you slowly fell asleep listening to his heartbeat.

As much as he liked being rough, and dominant he also loved taking care of you after, its what you both needed.                                                                                                                                          

i told you... if you made it to the end, congrats your mind is as dirty as mine. As always feel free to request any driver x reader pairing. im open for anything.

[ancha-aus]

RealAgeAU - Godly Lessons

And the one that was third place in the poll!

I had this one ready for a while now so we are uploading it today!!

Timeline wise this is 6 months after Nightmare turned into a baby (so about 3 months after the gang arrived in Farmtale) We good there?

First Drabble (Thanks to @spotaus for the original prompt) Prev Drabble Next Drabble

*---------------*

It took them ages.

And when Dream says ages he means AGES to find Reaper.

It doesn't help that Reaper hardly interacts with anyone. He is so work focused it is crazy.

But, as Blue had said, Reaper was the only one they could ask!

Well... Dream had asked Ink and Error before but Ink had just tilted his skull confused at the question while Error just looked unamused and asked him why the hell he would ask him.

Dream makes a mental note to eventually explain to those two that they may be ascending to godhood soon, if they aren't already there. Look. Dream knows he should tell them this and help them but at the moment Dream is having issues with his own powers.

And honestly wiht those two still having their fifth truce (Look, Ink keeps forgetting they had a truce and so they just keep resigning the same truce agreement.) he still has time before he needs to explain the basics of godhood to them.

Not to forget that Dream is rather unsure nowadays about his own god status. He thought gods didn't change?! They had domains and stuff!

Okay so maybe Dream didn't know a lot about god things and only knew the things that... he had been told ages ago. Either in small snippets by his mother but those had always sounded like an afterthought.

Honestly the things he knows about being a god is all things he had... heard from those... those... horrible villagers... and later people from across the multiverse.

Either way, it means Dream is looking for more information and Blue is helping. Honestly Dream is unsure what he did to deserve Blue as best friend and Dream makes a mental note to somehow thank him for it later. There has to be something Dream can do to make Blue happy and show how thankful he is.

But that is for later.

Now, they are looking for Reaper.

And... well... with him being Death...

Dream has to physically stop Blue from jumping to someones defence as the human in this universe goes about the genocide run. Dream starts to regret his decision to let Blue come along.

"Huh. You aren't suposed to be here."

Dream looks up and smiles "Reaper! It is so good to finally see you!"

Reaper just looks confused before giving a grin "Really now? Why is that?"He winks before his face grows harder as he glances around "Also you two really can not be here."

Blue huffs "We wouldn't be here if you were easier to find. Come on Dream let me go I need to help them!"

Dream shakes his skull "No Blue you can't!"

Reaper sighs as he rubs his face "Okay. You need to talk?" he checks his phone and nods "Let me finish my job here quickly and we will talk on the surface of this universe. Just teleport to the other side of the barrier and I will be there in a bit." and he shoots off after the human, already becoming invisible again.

Dream has to drag Blue through a portal.

They sit in the grass as Blue glares at the ground.

"I am sorry Blue-"

Blue shrugs as he looks away "We could have helped them..."

Dream sighs and nods "I know... but we aren't suposed to interfere in other universes or stories..."

Blue huffs as he mutters "You don't have that problem when your brother does something or Ink wants to interact with people when he isn't suposed to." he doesn't look at him.

Dream frowns as he rubs his arm. Yeah... that is fair... Dream is a hypocrit, he knows that already.

They sit in silence before a chuckle "Wow. What is going on here? Did someone die?" and Reaper grins cheeky.

Blue groans but Dream stands up "I need your help"

Reaper blinks before letting out a long sigh "Dream. We have been over this. I am not picking sides."

Dream shakes his skull "This isn't about that!" he rubs his arm before forcing it out "I am losing my powers."

Reaper immediantly stares at him "What?!" Reaper looks him up and down much more critically.

Dream nods as he looks to the side "It is going slowly. But it is happening... it has been happening slowly but surely over almost half a year now."

Reaper shoots upright "And you only decided to search for answers now!"

Dream feels embarresed "We have been looking for almost 4 months now! But I also have other stuff to do as guardian of positivity!" he crosses his arms.

Blue leans over "Also you are hard to find."

Reaper raises a brow "Just ask Ink. You guys are like roommates half the time."

Blue and Dream share a look.

Reaper looks pained "Oh no what is going on with them now?"

Dream thinks about how to say it before just throwing it out there "They don't know they are gods."

Reaper stops, stares and groans loudly as he covers his face "I thought! I thought they knew what they were doing?! They call themselves god of creation and god of destruction for crying out loud!"

Dream rubs his cheek and shrugs. Blue nods "Yeah. that is what tripped us up too. We asked them if they had heard of gods losing their powers. and Ink just looked confused while Error asked why we asked him. And told us to ask a god instead of them."

Reaper looks so tired before rubbing his forehead "Okay. okay. Good thing those two are on a break of their weird war again. Does explain why they would keep fighting instead of just working together to make sure both get their job done." Reaper frowns as he rubs his face "I will have to ask the others about this... this may become an issue. Someone has to teach them and explain it to them but Ink has the memory of a squirrel and Error doesn't listen unless he respects you..." Reaper looks thoughtful as he mutters "Maybe it is best to go to him... Error and Nightmare already work together and Error respects him..." he frowns and huffs "Will have to find him first..."

Dream flinches at the name of his twin as Blue steps over "Anyway... Dream said with them having their truce that can wait. We went looking for you in the hopes you got answers for Dream."

Reaper pauses and clearly thinks it over "I personally don't... but if anyone has answers..." he looks considering to the side "I can go ask a friend of mine first. See if she has answers. if she doesn't we will need to go to Asgore, king of the gods and god of the sky... he will probably know but..." reaper pulls a face "he doesn't like multiverse stuff generally..." Reaper looks over "You two okay with waiting here for a moment?"

Both dream and Blue nod and take a seat to wait again. Reaper disappears and silence returns.

In the end, Reaper's friend did not have answers and they were forced to go to the land of the gods, or universe of the gods. Which, caused a tiny issue with Blue being there. Blue had just looked at him and asked if Dream wanted him to come. To which Dream had said obviously and so now Blue was Dream's chosen warrior to hopefully let this go smoothly.

They manage to get into the universe and it is glorious beyond anything that Dream could imagine. it is bright and colourful and so many powerful beings make their ways around. They all look curiously at them as they go by.

Reaper whispers "Do make sure to just address me with Sans here. Either that of Death. They don't like the idea that I as god don't go by my name or title when I am making my way around." Blue nods as Dream gives his own agreement.

They manage to get to the hall of gods and find the Asgore of this universe. the kind of all gods and the very sky. Which, with Dream knowing the story and how the monsters longed for the sky and all it held, understands is a very big deal.

They arrive to the end of the hall and Reaper nods to Asgore "Asgore."

Asgore looks over and frowns "Death, I thought I told you what i thought about this interacting with mortals." he looks very displeased.

Reaper answers smoothly "I know, Dream however isn't a mortal. He is a god, just not from our universe. The mortal with him is his chosen warrior Blue."

Asgore huffs but the irritations melt away easily "I see..." he smiles at Dream "Dream you say? You must still be very new to godhood. I can only assume Death brought you to me for a specific reason."

Dream gives a slow nod and after an encouraging smile of Blue he starts talking "I supose I am still a bit new to this all. I may be over 500 years but many of those years were spend locked away. The problem is... I am losing my magic and powers. I do not understand why."

Asgore frowns as he nods "I see. Were you cursed by any chance?"

Dream thinks it over "I don't think so. I at least don't remember a single moment which stands out where i could have been cursed."

Asgore nods and waves at him to continue.

Dream does just that "I have been losing my powers slowly over the last few months. It started with being unable to passively make others happy. At this point I can hardly feel emotions as it is."

Asgore suddenly chuckles as he leans back "Well, of course you can't do that. You are no god of emotions."

Dead silence. Blue and Reaper share a shocked look as Dream sputters "but I am?! I am the god of positive emotions!"

Asgore tilts his head "No you are not. I can sense that you have no domain."

Dream sputters and glares "But I do have a domein!"

Asgore chuckles as he waves off his anger "Had. You HAD a domain."

Dream feels hismelf freeze "what...?"

Asgore nods "You are losing your powers because you lost your domain. You aren't losing your godhood however, that is something of that is yours by right of birth and a great power is needed to take that from you. But your powers are leaving you as those were connected to the domain you were connected to."

Dream stares down at the ground.

Asgore continues on, either unaware of the actual crisis Dream is experiencing or he just doesn't care "Now that the balance is able to establish itself again it has no need for either you or your counterpart."

Dream blinks and looks up "Balance?"

Asgore looks smug "Yes of course I know what your domain used to be. A god of Balance. together with your counterpart your duty is to establish and keep balance over your area. In this case, the focus was on emotions and the area was quite large with this so called multiverse."

Dream is seconds away from hyperventilating.

"Remember Dream. You are to keep balance." Nim sounds so proud.

Oh gods.

Nightmare looking at him annoyed "Dream what are you doing?! You are going to tip over the balance if you keep interrupting my work!"

Oh no.

"-It doesn't mean i don't like them. Just, even too much of a good thing is bad. you know?" Blue smiles at him.

Oh he is so dumb.

Reaper luckily sees that he needs some assistance and continues the question "Meaning that Dream needs a new domain? And that will give him powers again?"

Asgore nods "Indeed."

Blue looks between them confused "But what restored this balance then?"

Asgore looks annoyed at Blue for a moment but when Dream looks at him expecting he humors them "I do not know. I supose something unbalanced it. But that with time and the suport you and your counterpart gave it it managed to recover and heal."

So there may be a new tree of emotions somewhere in the multiverse-

WAIT!

Dream steps forwards, feeling much more panicked "You mean. That whatever unbalanced it must have been reversed?!"

Asgore raises a brow "I just said that yes."

Dream feels the panic return. Because the only thing he can image unbalancing it. Would have been the tree being cut down. The tree and the apples of his mother's tree had been the thing keeping balance.

Nightmare ate the apples...

Where is his twin?

Dream takes a few steps backwards "I... I need to go. Thank you. I need to go now." His brother. Where is his twin? Is he hurt? What if... what if these powers disappearing are also disappearing for him?

Those apples had healed him... kept him alive...

Dream knows that much, Dream had seen the images in the book. The only reason Nightmare survived was because of those apples.

Can... can Nightmare survive without those apples in his system?!

Dream doens't know what Asgore said but he rushes back to the enterance, blue already by his side again and looking worried.

They get to the edge and Dream teleports them out again.

As soon as they are back Dream feels himself shake and Blue hugs him "What is wrong? What did you realise?"

Moments later Reaper appears "Why did you do that?! Now i need to deal with a ticked off Asgore and-"

Dream breaks "Nightmare may be dying!" sobs break through as he collapses in Blue's hold.

silence.

Dream hadn't seen his brother in months. Not once ever since Dream started losing his powers. He had only seen the gang members once in a while. They always left quickly as soon as Dream even started talking about Nightmare.

Dream had been losing his powers and magic for half a year now and not once did he question if it may be affecting Nightmare.

He sobs as he falls to his knees, Blue keeps holding him.

Reaper floats closer but still out of reach "What do you mean? He is also a god. those are hard to kill." he grins a tiny bit but there is a nervous edge to it.

Dream sobs as he looks up. "The only reason he is alive is because he ate the very thing that helped keep the balance..." he sobs again "if the balance is restored... and all the magic we have connected to it disappears..."

Reaper seems to realise what Dream realised before cursing "Fuck."

Dream sobs as he hugs himself.

He doesn't even know where Nightmare is. He should have started looking for him months and months ago. As soon as he found that storybook, earlier even! When he realised his powers were acting weird. Make amends.

But Dream had been a coward. He had been afraid that Nightmare would never forgive him for his foolish and blind behaviour. Dream had figured he could try and ease their relationship a bit first. Maybe a truce like Ink and Error, and work from there on trying to repair their broken relationship.

But turns out... He may have been too late already.

Half a year too late.

*---------------------*

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Why is it that each time i do a Dream chapter it is a gutpunch? I honestly really like dream. It is just, from his side this whole story is more of a horror story than a family comedy...

Oh well.